Home today
I feel such sadness. I feel lost in it. Oh my gosh! I don't know myself anymore! I woke up crying. At home I have to pretend that I'm fine. My husband, who dosen't even ask how my psychiatric appointment went? Ok, how do you go on when Your parents just died in the last two years and now I have to face that my marriage is not healthy for me. How do you face that the one Man in your life that made it seem better, My dad is gone and died a horrible death from Leukimia. I don't know if I want to go on sometimes. Not, that I would do anything you guys. Suicide is such a selfish act. I wouldn't do that to my sister. she needs me. But, she is a alcholic and with a abusive alcholic! Ok, here are some examples of my husbands emotional neglect. We haven't had any pysical contact for almost three years. He dosen't even touch me at all. I took him to the doctor and he got real mad at me when I mentioned it. So, I never brought it up again. He is so selfish all he does is go everyweeked to a sporting event that he likes to do. Thats all I used to do is go with him when we were first together thinking he would take me on vacations do fun things together right? wrong, in the eight years that we have been together he has only taken me on two vacations, one to san diego and the other to hearst castle. He didn't want to go to either. I forced him. We can't even go out to dinner together. We have nothing to talk about. You know that I crave attention any! I am only a fifty year old women. And I am pretty and have a great sense of humor. Love to camp and hike and go to movies and love to laugh. He dosen't want to do any of those things with me. I have begged but, nothing. I can't live like this. My grief is so over whelming and then I have someone who really dosen't care. Everytime I start talking about my father he changes the subject. Do you know when I was gone taking care of my father for the last year of his life. He wasn't even there for me. When I had to move in with my dad he only came over twice. And when I did come home on the weekend he complained that the house wasn't getting cleaned. I want to scream. Thats what I have been married too. A selfish person. I want to get away. I don't know how to do it. I need to find some kind of strenghth inside me. I called a counselor today. She is a marriage and family therapist. I have asked him to go but, he won't. I can't do this anymore. I need help. Please email me. I feel so alone.
-
Guest
Jillian,
I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time. Are you working on the program? I'm so glad you decided to see a therapist. I work on the sessions in the workbook and then take it to my therapist appointment to discuss it. That seems to really help me. I am also seeing a psychiatrist for medication for my anxiety. That has worked wonders for me. That might be a possibility for you. I know this is very difficult but it sounds like a huge weight would be lifted from you if you and your husband separated. It sounds like he is not putting forth any effort to support you emotionally or physically.
I know it's extremely difficult to lose someone you love. My father passed away when I was only five and my husband passed away 15 years ago at the age of 44. He was the love of my life and left me with two daughters to raise. But I feel that all the tough times I;ve been through have made me a better person. I wish you the best of luck!!
I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time. Are you working on the program? I'm so glad you decided to see a therapist. I work on the sessions in the workbook and then take it to my therapist appointment to discuss it. That seems to really help me. I am also seeing a psychiatrist for medication for my anxiety. That has worked wonders for me. That might be a possibility for you. I know this is very difficult but it sounds like a huge weight would be lifted from you if you and your husband separated. It sounds like he is not putting forth any effort to support you emotionally or physically.
I know it's extremely difficult to lose someone you love. My father passed away when I was only five and my husband passed away 15 years ago at the age of 44. He was the love of my life and left me with two daughters to raise. But I feel that all the tough times I;ve been through have made me a better person. I wish you the best of luck!!
-
Guest
Hi Jillian - Please go rent the movie "Fireproof" and sit and watch it with him. I cannot guarantee anything, but it might just light a fire under him a bit. Marriage should not be taken for granted, and you two have grown apart and it's too much work for him to make an effort, but he needs to. There are issues you both need to address and if you can't do them with a counselor at least you can watch that movie and maybe even get the books.
All the best to you!
All the best to you!
-
Guest