First off, I'd like to say that I am NOT suicidal. The thought of death scares me, but so does living this way...
I don't know what to think anymore. I'm so frustrated. All my problems started as a panic disorder. And through the program, the panic attacks stopped. However, I was left with these unresolved symptoms for over 7 years. From the moment I wake up, I'm tired. But I push myself up, and open all the shades to let the outside light in. Indoor lights overwhelm me, and I wear sunglasses constantly. I often feel so tired/unmotivated, but when I distract myself with computer work (I work at home), I get so lost in the moment that I forget I have any problems (which is good I think). But the moment I stop working, even for a second, to go get a drink for example, I again get this exhausted, overwhelmed dizziness. I avoid going out and socializing because of the mental fatigue and overwhelming dizziness. I don't have panic attacks, per se, but I have these other exhausting symptoms. It's more like the longer I'm in these situations (like the longer I am shopping), the worse I feel. In fact, I've even pushed myself so hard that I had a vertigo attack. By the time I leave the mall, I'm just so drained. It makes it hard to think of anything positive.
I've tried anti-anxiety pills but they just make me more tired/drowsy. I'm taking mega doses of Sam-e for depression but no help there yet (on it for 6 weeks) My eyes are so tired all the time, without the meds. I just don't know if it's anxiety causing my depression symptoms or just depression alone.
One main thing about depression symptoms is that they say you have no interests in the outside world. And it's not that I'm not interested (I'm interested in my work), it's just that it mentally overwhelms and exhausts me to the point where I just don't want to do it - I want someone else to do it. Usually I can float with my feelings, but I get moments are pure frustration, sometimes I can cry, sometimes I just can't. Can ANYONE relate? And possibly only reply positively with hope?
Can anyone relate to me?
Hi Shiksa,
I can relate to a lot of what your saying. Before I started this program I would get exhausted just sitting and having a converstion with someone. I cut off going anywhere and didn't even eat sometimes unless someone brought me food. I got off my computer when I had to get up for something. I stopped going to the store because I didn't want to spend money on anything. I basically just quit life. The external stimulus was too much for me to take. I wasn't afraid to go. I just didn't want to. I wanted to feel like I was around people so that maybe I could get back into some kind of social life so I started playing an online computer game. I still play a few times a week. It is like living another life for me where I can control who is around me. The funny thing is that I am afraid to talk to anyone or play in a group setting. There are a lot of things I woould like to do on it, but I let my fear rule me.
That is where I am going to start to turn it around and rule my fear of other people.I know for me that it comes from my inability to blow uff unkind words about me. I also fear saying something that will affect someone else badly. I have a family that is very outspoken with each other and I am the same way. We are also rather aggresive with each other. I love that this program is teaching me how to be assertive instead.
One thing I noticed was that I woke up every morning with the thought, "I hate my life." I am noticing now what I tell myself a lot of the time and try to change the thougt before I even think about getting up.I don't hate my life. I don't like the way some things went in my life. I actually have it really good and the things making it bad now are in myself. I know that eventually I can change that now. I made my day bad from the first thought I had in the morning. I make myself not want to do things I used to enjoy instead of the other way around.
I am working on this a little at a time and am feeling better. For instance I am starting to go out with my husband and children. I have a few goals I want to achieve such as being able to be around my brothers and sisters without takeing everything they say so personally. I started talking to strangers by posting on this site. You are helping me today and I thank you.
Maybe your thinking is what is overwhelmig you too. Computers are an easy way to help me forget that there is life out there. I have been out of my own "real world" for over a year. I think I needed that time to undo the stress from things that had happened which were very traumatic for me.
If there is hope for me there is hopw for you. I feel so much better when I don't let the anxiery take over. I haven't gotten dizzy at the store for over a month. I have talked to a few people I am not used to being around and it turned out ok. I still analyze what I say and do so I know I need to work on that. I don't think I can get rid of a life long depression overnight. I'm just taking it easy on myself and not pushing. I know that I am going to have to practice these skills everyday for the rest of my life. I am looking forward to the day when I won't even notice how I feel.
Gosh I hope this doesn't sound stupid. Just kidding. Well no I'mr really not, but I'm working on it.
I'm going to roll with my anxiery and push the post button now.
I can relate to a lot of what your saying. Before I started this program I would get exhausted just sitting and having a converstion with someone. I cut off going anywhere and didn't even eat sometimes unless someone brought me food. I got off my computer when I had to get up for something. I stopped going to the store because I didn't want to spend money on anything. I basically just quit life. The external stimulus was too much for me to take. I wasn't afraid to go. I just didn't want to. I wanted to feel like I was around people so that maybe I could get back into some kind of social life so I started playing an online computer game. I still play a few times a week. It is like living another life for me where I can control who is around me. The funny thing is that I am afraid to talk to anyone or play in a group setting. There are a lot of things I woould like to do on it, but I let my fear rule me.
That is where I am going to start to turn it around and rule my fear of other people.I know for me that it comes from my inability to blow uff unkind words about me. I also fear saying something that will affect someone else badly. I have a family that is very outspoken with each other and I am the same way. We are also rather aggresive with each other. I love that this program is teaching me how to be assertive instead.
One thing I noticed was that I woke up every morning with the thought, "I hate my life." I am noticing now what I tell myself a lot of the time and try to change the thougt before I even think about getting up.I don't hate my life. I don't like the way some things went in my life. I actually have it really good and the things making it bad now are in myself. I know that eventually I can change that now. I made my day bad from the first thought I had in the morning. I make myself not want to do things I used to enjoy instead of the other way around.
I am working on this a little at a time and am feeling better. For instance I am starting to go out with my husband and children. I have a few goals I want to achieve such as being able to be around my brothers and sisters without takeing everything they say so personally. I started talking to strangers by posting on this site. You are helping me today and I thank you.
Maybe your thinking is what is overwhelmig you too. Computers are an easy way to help me forget that there is life out there. I have been out of my own "real world" for over a year. I think I needed that time to undo the stress from things that had happened which were very traumatic for me.
If there is hope for me there is hopw for you. I feel so much better when I don't let the anxiery take over. I haven't gotten dizzy at the store for over a month. I have talked to a few people I am not used to being around and it turned out ok. I still analyze what I say and do so I know I need to work on that. I don't think I can get rid of a life long depression overnight. I'm just taking it easy on myself and not pushing. I know that I am going to have to practice these skills everyday for the rest of my life. I am looking forward to the day when I won't even notice how I feel.
Gosh I hope this doesn't sound stupid. Just kidding. Well no I'mr really not, but I'm working on it.
I'm going to roll with my anxiery and push the post button now.I can totally relate to feeling tired and unmotivated. I feel exactly the same way in social settings. I always say that I have to go home and re-charge my batteries. That's my way to let everyone know that I need that time alone in my safe place. Nothing I do seems to help that feeling. Sometimes a power nap helps but it's not like you can do that all the time. I have tried to deal with this symtom for the past few years and it has destroyed my social life with friends and family but the good news is, when i can push myself to do the things that i just feel to tired to do, I seem too always feel better. It's a shame that I can't pull that out of myself everyday. I feel your pain and hopefully things like this chat helps us both. I just joined up today and this is my first chat with anyone about my problems. One thing for sure is that we are not alone. That is comforting to me at some level. I really hope that you find a solution for both of us and if you do, please post it I am a married man from down south and it is verry hard to talk about my problems. I guess I've always been to proud but this chatting seems to help. Hang in there!!! I'm sure that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I am a married man from down south and it is verry hard to talk about my problems. I guess I've always been to proud but this chatting seems to help. Hang in there!!! I'm sure that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.-
Renee Coppi
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 9:27 am
Yes, I can relate. I am struggling with a tidbit of moody depression. Feels like I am just going thru the motions. Had a dizzy spell today. I am trying to be there for my family but by about 7pm I am so tired and I get grumpy. I have 2 boys at home and one in a very expensive private school. I wanted to go back to work as a nurse, but it has been a very dissappointing road. Hospital 12 hr shifts too hard on my back and I am a slow learner so it didnt come real quick with my refresher course. Then I tried school nursing, that didnt work out. I will spare you the details. I really want to help contribute financially. Now what to do? so this is very anxiety and stressful me.
Yet, I keep plugging along. I will try Temp agencies and another few ideas. I have a family and I really just want to be home when they are home and work part time. But I have the blahs and I am grumpy. I so want to move into the Promise Land and not make any more bone head errors that get me written up again in employment. it s been 14 years sinxe I have worked outside the home.
On the hopeful side, exercise really helps me a lot.
Yet, I keep plugging along. I will try Temp agencies and another few ideas. I have a family and I really just want to be home when they are home and work part time. But I have the blahs and I am grumpy. I so want to move into the Promise Land and not make any more bone head errors that get me written up again in employment. it s been 14 years sinxe I have worked outside the home.
On the hopeful side, exercise really helps me a lot.
I would check with the dr. to make sure you don't have anything else going on (inner ear issues, thyroid). I also wouldn't take large doses of herbs/vitamins because you may be doing more harm than good. Check with a dr., run tests to exactly determine what it is and see a nutritionist/dietician to help with vitamins, diet to help make you feel better.