Support circle for depression
I've done a terrible thing. It's pretty bad, I don't want to say what it is, but I hurt someone I've been (I'm pretty sure) falling in love with. He said he doesn't know if he can ever get over it...like years down the road he thinks he'll still be thinking about it. I'm going to try to get him back. What do you guys think a good time limit is for trying? If we had been dating for a while, and I was already completely in love with him, then I wouldn't want to put a time limit on it. I just don't know if I'm wasting my time. Every time I think things are going to work out with someone, they don't...and it's usually the guy's fault...until now! I can't believe I've screwed this up. And of course, like Lucinda says, I'm beating myself up over the head continuously. He is too. I know one thing, if he can't ever get it out of his head, then I know it won't work because I refuse to be with someone who continually punishes me for a mistake. Because evenutally I'll forgive myself and I'll need him to do the same. I can't live in the past. All I can do is learn from my mistakes. Ugh. I need a therapist. For real. I participate in self-destructive behavior and then cry about it later, and then do it again. I'm wondering if I'm bipolar.
I feel myself sinking into the abyss. The signs are all there: sleeping a lot, cutting myself off from friends and family, obsessive thinking . . .
I don't know how to handle the fact that one of the people who likes having me weak, depressed, and dependent is my husband! Our older child is finally free of this toxic environment and I love spending time there! I'm so much happier and healthier there. But our younger child is still in high school and very adverse to change. I've tried talking to her about going to a better school for 5 years now, and she's convinced that staying here and not changing is the best course. I know she's the child and if I feel strongly that another environment would be better . . . but she has had generalized anxiety disorder most of her life, which really does require a different sort of parenting. The problem is when I'm here at home with my husband I feel like I'm dying inside, But when I'm away and happy my husband falls apart and I know that the brunt of it falls onto her shoulders.
I've been to counseling and so has our younger child. My husband has too, just years ago, before we even knew each other. He gets very angry whenever he discusses his experiences with counseling or if it is even hinted that he needs to go now. He even gets angry when I tell him that I need to go to counseling!
I know that right now I am seeing the problem as all him, which I have no control over, so I need to see what actions of mine can change the situation. Any ideas out there?
I don't know how to handle the fact that one of the people who likes having me weak, depressed, and dependent is my husband! Our older child is finally free of this toxic environment and I love spending time there! I'm so much happier and healthier there. But our younger child is still in high school and very adverse to change. I've tried talking to her about going to a better school for 5 years now, and she's convinced that staying here and not changing is the best course. I know she's the child and if I feel strongly that another environment would be better . . . but she has had generalized anxiety disorder most of her life, which really does require a different sort of parenting. The problem is when I'm here at home with my husband I feel like I'm dying inside, But when I'm away and happy my husband falls apart and I know that the brunt of it falls onto her shoulders.
I've been to counseling and so has our younger child. My husband has too, just years ago, before we even knew each other. He gets very angry whenever he discusses his experiences with counseling or if it is even hinted that he needs to go now. He even gets angry when I tell him that I need to go to counseling!
I know that right now I am seeing the problem as all him, which I have no control over, so I need to see what actions of mine can change the situation. Any ideas out there?
You do realize you're in an abusive relationship, right? If this man is acting this way now, how do you think he'll react when you really change? I hope he doesn't become violent. Seriously. I would go to counseling regardless. This is your life. Not your husbands. He needs counseling too, but obviously he doesn't think he does. When you say "when I'm away and happy" are you meaning like when you go to the grocery store away, or when you go to your parents for the week away? If you've left him before and he fell apart, just do it again and only go back IF he agrees to counseling, and IF after counseling YOU still want him. You're children are watching you. I know you want to be an example of a strong individual who stood up for herself. Think about how you feel with your husband, and then think about how you're children will feel down the road if they live by your current example. You are a worthwhile human being and deserve to be treated with respect, love and compassion. I'm not a therapist, so this is all just my opinion...but coming from the daughter of a mother who was abused by her first husband (my dad), I look up to my mom so much because she finally got the nerve to leave him and allow herself to become a whole person. My sister and I are strong women because of her. Yes we have issues with anxiety and depression, but that's what we're working on. My mom is doing this program too! 
I am wondering if you or anyone else in this group has heard of a CD for supoort persons (spouses,etc.) who are significantly connected to the person doing the program. I have heard of it from someone, but I did not receive on in the box with the program. I think it is very important for a spouse (any significant other) to have something to refer to from the program so that he/she can be of assistance and supportive to the person going through such a difficult time. Please let me by posting if you know of that CD.
Hi, I believe the program works, but only as much as we are able to work it and actually change our thinking. Just listening to the program won't do it. Changing my thinking is very difficult. I'm going through the program a second time now. It's great that we can do this, get as much as we can out of it the first time and then do it again,at no extra charge.
I have also been to Al-anon which is a support group for families and friends of alcoholics, it also helps me change my attitudes for the better.
The CD for support persons came in my program in the introduction section and it is titled "I will be there for you"
I have also been to Al-anon which is a support group for families and friends of alcoholics, it also helps me change my attitudes for the better.
The CD for support persons came in my program in the introduction section and it is titled "I will be there for you"
I've started a new post about possible "seasonal affective disorder" in the summer...I hate to say but I HATE summer! OK it light out later in evening, and I do love baseball, LOL, but the humidity and heat just drains me and causes severe depression....I love 9 months of year but June to August, just want to "hibernate" unfortunately
Originally posted by Barb G.:
I too would like to join. I'm wondering does anyone get depressed with hot temps and humidity? I'm finding myself tired and depressed and can't figure out why. Even tho I have air on I think the humidity is affecting me.