Maybe this is weird...

[nycgal84]

But when I was listening to this session - I was thinking - so am I being told that I need to become a pessimist, in a way? If I don't expect much out of people, then I feel like I am not going to trust anyone and just do things on my own. Does this make sense? I guess if I go into a situation not expecting things to be great - then what is the point of doing them? I couldn't help but think this - so I had to post!

[Paisleegreen]

Someone else had that same sort of thought and I commented on it, but where is the LOL! I guess we shouldn't expect so much out of people because they are human and they need some leeway for our unrealistic expectations of them. Yep, I know..its hard to think that way...because many of us are perfectionists. Paislee

[nycgal84]

Hi there! Thanks for your reply. I am not sure if it reallly has to do with me being a perfectionist. I guess it is more just trying to be a positive person and giving people the benefit of the doubt. My question really is - to be happy, don't we have to have trust in others? If we are constantly second guessing people - and lowering our expectations of them - it is kind of a sad way to live, isn't it?

[marialuv19]

I know what you are suggesting here. ...I work as a beauty consultant and ALL I HEAR my superiors and sales directors above me say is...EXPECT GREAT THINGS AND GREAT THINGS WILL HAPPEN. It's a motto in our sales world--lol.
I always think bad things are gonna happen, which is why I have anxiety. I really think that it's what you believe deep down inside about how the way things "should" be...thats causing alot of the depression and anxiety.

I thought that my sales job would be a breeeeze for me....NOT. I also believed and expected that everyone I approached to give a FREE facial to would say YES...NOT!! Some pple don't want a free facial--some pple use their own skin care line that they are loyal too--AND some pple are skeptical as well. I thought I wasn't doing my job properly if everyone wasn't saying yes--and when I started to hear the NO'S --I got discouraged and then was like ehh--this is not what I "expected". Expect that people are gonna say NO---AND sometimes they aren't even nice about it---expect even your family and relatives to turn you down--and tell you that they don't want it and are not interested. Now I praise myself for even trying, bc it's the effort that counts. Having a realistic view of the world and yourself is necessary. Now--when people say yes to me--or I get alot of PPLE SAY YES that I didn't expect--I think of it as a bonus. And I also think wow----WHAT IF I DIDN'T CALL THAT PERSON BACK---OR TRY AGAIN!!!! It is all about changing your thinking....I have yet to master it but writing it out def helps..