Help with session 4

[marialuv19]

Session 4 has been quite interesting for me. I am such a perfectionist --I always have been and I have the worst time standing up for myself and being assertive. I know I let people take advantage of me--this is a problem I have had since I was a kid. The problem is....I know I'm mad that I am like this....but I cannot identify when I'm letting someone take advantage of me because it's so ingrained in me. I know I also have a hard time forgiving myself for being such a "doormat" too---I can't tell it's even happening anymore!! As far as identifying which shoulds to keep and which to let go of....I HAVE NO IDEA....I FEEL SO LOST in this session. Maybe im thinking about it too much? I have had so many "friends" in my life that have taken advantage of me --and do and say horrible things that didnt make me feel good--whether to my face or behind my back. I guess I'm still living with this...it's hard to live with these feelings because I never did anything about it. I always just thought there must have been something wrong WITH ME--otherwise why would they act like this?
Anybody feel the same way?

[bunny rabbit]

I have been in codependent recovery for 20 years. All the information this program covers is in 12 step codependent recovery literature but in a different form. I too am a perfectionist. I have gone through lots of relationships because they were all one-sided. Either I was doing all the giving or they were. Since beginning the program I am feeling happier being alone. I used to NEED people. I no longer have that desperate need. My self-talk is more positive. When I feel upset I immediately start journaling to find out the root of what is going on. I write out all the self-talk that is going on in my head. There usually are some strong conflicted messages going on. I then ask myself what I need to do to feel better. The answer usually fits in with what the program is teaching us to do. I find this journaling very helpful. Blessings from Bunny