Perfections

Do you have such high expectations of yourself and others that you’re constantly disappointed? Learn how to have realistic, reasonable expectations and be happier than you’ve ever been before.
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~Noelle~
Posts: 49
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:31 am

Post by ~Noelle~ » Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:43 am

Does anyone give themselves a hard time when doing homework? I'm a college student and even when I work my tail off, I ALWAYS feel like I don't do the work good enough. Sometimes I read the material over and over again because I just feel like I didn't accomplish much. Then the what if thoughts come. Like, what if I fail? What if I don't get a good grade? Worse, what if they think I plagiarized? How can you find a middle ground? Thanks!

derfy
Posts: 187
Joined: Sat Nov 11, 2006 12:31 am

Post by derfy » Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:21 pm

Noelle:

I used to do that, feeling as if I needed to know the whole book!! I went to college at night while working during days and I firmly believe this is what triggered my panic attacks. I had to ease up as I was destroying myself.

I am a big "what if-fer" also and have gotten better over the years, but still need to work on this. Remember, mistakes are an opportunity for growth and learning. Nothing more. Don't worry so much about failing; if you do, so what. You try again and again. Use the energy to learn the material and when you have done so move on. Hope this helps :)

Tony74
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves...
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be? --Unknown
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Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:08 am

Hi Noelle. I too am a student, going through a Phd (it's still not easy!). It sounds like you are still in the stage of taking classes. Here is something to put perspective on the fact that you feel like you never do enough homework. I just spent the weekend throwing away 90% of the papers and homework and readings that I had accumulated over the past 10 years (6 garbage bags full). Guess what? I never needed them again. I kept them, because, what if I forgot everything and needed to check my notes? Sure, I forgot stuff, but, in the end, it didn't matter.
I have every confidence that you are a good student. You are probably just very hard on yourself. That perfectionist tendency is really hard on us. Just remember, will this matter after I passed my test?

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