need advice on loving myself

ali04 · Post by **ali04** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:24 am

I have been working on session 3 for 2 weeks now. I know Lucinda says you have to love yourself unconditionally and you are your safe person. I am having a hard time understanding how to love myself. I grew up with so many insecurities and being ridiculed so I thought I had so much wrong with me. I just don't know where to begin with this step. I don't want to come across as fake to people. This session has really helped me but I am still having a bit of a struggle with just loving me. I am a good person so why am I so stuck. I have to get rid of the negative attitude and what if thinking, should I stay on this session another week. I am also stuck on starting the journal. Any advice would greatly be appreciated. Thanks for listening.

DebDeb · Post by **DebDeb** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:43 am

Write down all of your positive attributes. I am
sure you can think of many! Also forget the past,
a lot of us had a less than desireable one but it's time to look to the 'now' -the present-

Just be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself
up with any negative thinking.
Move on to the next cd -you can always go back to
it again.
I am on Session4 -I feel as long as you get the
concept you can move on.
It helps to write down what you have learned in
each session and then relate it to your day to day experiences. Eg; Today I will complement everyone and remain positive, & I will not have any high expectations of people around me.

Hope this helps

Jennifier · Post by **Jennifier** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:46 am

ali04,

I would stay on the program because loving yourself is something that you should learn first before moving on. You shouldn't think of anything that anyone has ever told you about yourself. You should only think of the good things about yourself. First you should list out all the things that you think good about yourself. Do not add anything negative to that list. You will see that you are a wonderful person and that you have no need to think bad about yourself in any way. God made you just the way that you are and he made you in his perfect imagage and knowing that is what helps me when I start feeling bad about myself. I know how it feels to never feel good enough and I had felt that way for a long time, but then I realized that I am special and that I bring something wonderful into this world so I felt better about being me! Loving yourself is a crucial part of being you becaue without love for yourself you just feel helpless. You are your safe person you can make yourself feel better about yourself. I sometimes take a nice relaxing bath and do my nails getting your nails done makes people feel good about theirself. Then work on the outer apperance of you and that in turn will make you have more confidence. Then you should start working on things that are bothering you. I suggest calling the help line through the program because they can teach you things that will help you move forward and not look back. I hope this helps! God bless you!

Jennifier

*D* · Post by ***D*** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:51 am

find out what made you not like yourself and start feeling better about who you are. look back to where you were a year ago and you will see how far you have come since youhave been in the program..some hold things in that they should have let go years ago. forgiving others is a good place to start..don't hold things that others said that bothered you from being the person that you are. remember that yo are someone and yo will find others in here that love you and will support you through what ever you are going through..i find that for me PRAYER AND READING MY BIBLE AND SHARING WITH OTHERS HELPS ME.that is the way i do it. i know some do it different.but i love the results i get and how good it makes me feel.take careand know you are in our thoughts and prayers and GOD BLESS.
DON
if i can help somebody as i travel on, then my living wll nt be in vain...

Mello Nello · Post by **Mello Nello** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:58 am

Ali,
I know its hard, especially when we have been given negatives messages from many different people through our lives, especially growing up.
I agree, write down the positives about yourself. Take all the negatives you have been told, scrape them away, and start new.
Start looking inside at who Ali is, NOT what someone else said you were. We all have positives about ourselves, its the negatives that seem to stick because we allow others to define who we are, instead of digging into our own attributes and learning to LOVE who we are!!
Today is what is important,, Today, whisper to yourself , "I Love You"! and then do it everyday, and you will soon beleive what you are telling yourself!!! Stay on the program because each lesson allows you to learn more and more who YOU are!! Take care Nelly:)

ali04 · Post by **ali04** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:46 pm

DebDeb,Jennifer,*D*,Mello Nello,
Thanks all of you so much for the advice. I am going to really practice what you have said and I realize it must start with me loving myself. I just need to put my stop sign up when those negatives pop up. Is it true the more positives you tell yourself the more you start to feel it and will become more positive. This program is helping me so much and I just really want the change. Thanks again. Ali

acamp47 · Post by **acamp47** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:03 pm

I would like to partition on this by saying love is the way to total acceptance, and this is done by believing in one thing above all things and that is to look in side of self and say I love myself because in order to accept self you have to tell that hurt, that pain, and that feeling (that) I'm made in the image of that which will never faulter to a lie and in this I say my beloved friend, You are loved by many and in this place we say please love yourself because love is all we have at the end of any day or any time.
God so loved you He gave of Himself that you today would have life more abundantly, understand this my beloved friend, L.O.V.E.

Believer08 · Post by **Believer08** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:21 pm

WOW acamp that was so beautiful and very touching. I believe that many of us don't realize just how loved and special we all are. To know love is to be love.......we were created in and by love.

ali04 · Post by **ali04** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 2:45 am

Thanks acamp that was a Great way of describing love. I am so thankful to all of you for your kind words of encouragement on my journey.

Originally posted by acamp47:
I would like to partition on this by saying love is the way to total acceptance, and this is done by believing in one thing above all things and that is to look in side of self and say I love myself because in order to accept self you have to tell that hurt, that pain, and that feeling (that) I'm made in the image of that which will never faulter to a lie and in this I say my beloved friend, You are loved by many and in this place we say please love yourself because love is all we have at the end of any day or any time.
God so loved you He gave of Himself that you today would have life more abundantly, understand this my beloved friend, L.O.V.E.

Allie3030 · Post by **Allie3030** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 2:47 am

I understand what Ali is saying. I was brought up the same way. It's so hard to love yourself when, for your whole life, nobody has pointed out the good in you, only the bad. I had a very hard time with session 3 also. But I just came to the conclusion that I'm not going to be able to love myself unconditionally overnight, it will take sometime to realize how much stronger I make myself out to be. And Ali...that's what you should realize too. It's not going to happen over night, and it is hard to see the good in yourself when all you hear about is the bad. But don't give up on yourself. You deserve to be happy in this life.