"A human life is an ongoing process that involves constantly changing the physical body as well as an enourmous number of rapidly changing thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Your life therefore is an evolving experience a continual flow. You are not a thing; that's why any label is constricting, and highly inaccurate." From Feeling Good, The new mood Therapy by Dvaid D. Burns, M.D.
What this means is that labels don't really exsist. There are no such things in this universe as worthless people or bad people or any other label like this. Nobody can be worthless 24-7 nor can they be bad 24-7...this goes the same with good and helpful. All people go through times when they contribute and times they don't, they also do bad things, neutral things and good things.
What does it do when you tell yourself that you are worthless or bad? Does it really motivate you to work on overcoming your issues?
The way i see it is by labeling yourself as bad or worthless, you are doing the same thing as telling yourself that you have an irreversable and/or uncureable disease. They are both absolute comments. What they do is make you feel more tired, more depressed, less motivated and gives you a whole lot of self-resentment. After all, what is the point of working on bettering yourself if you are always going to be a bad person? or a worthless person?
Or am I wrong?
Mike
Dealing with Cognitive distortions; Labeling
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
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Guest
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Guest
Hello again NinjaFrodo...Once again you have hit the nail on the head. I have never given that much thought to labeling. I know I label because I catch myself saying "I am an anxious person" which could mean that no matter how well I do in the program I will never be anything but anxious. From now on I will always say that I have a prob with anxiety and agoraphobia at this time in my life. Thanks for the input. Deanna
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Guest
Mike,
what you said is an absolute truth. I used to judge everything, other people, myself, and all i did was make myself feel bad. after all, these are extremely negative thoughts and statements. What i try to do is to catch myself while i'm about to think these things and stop the thought by saying "you don't judge others any more" or i tell myself that "I don't hate myself" or "I don't hate". And you know what? I'm starting to think these things less and less. I also feel better about myself and i'm less angry. Maybe stopping cafine plays a role somewhere, but breaking bad habits are the key. I have committed to doing this all the time, for the rest of my life if necissary. You should keep posting, you're an interesting man, with interestings things to say!!
Bill
what you said is an absolute truth. I used to judge everything, other people, myself, and all i did was make myself feel bad. after all, these are extremely negative thoughts and statements. What i try to do is to catch myself while i'm about to think these things and stop the thought by saying "you don't judge others any more" or i tell myself that "I don't hate myself" or "I don't hate". And you know what? I'm starting to think these things less and less. I also feel better about myself and i'm less angry. Maybe stopping cafine plays a role somewhere, but breaking bad habits are the key. I have committed to doing this all the time, for the rest of my life if necissary. You should keep posting, you're an interesting man, with interestings things to say!!
Bill
Thank you, both of you.
I'd first like to say, the concepts that are in this thread are not my own ideas but rather ideas of another but put into my own words and i'm happy to share them with you!
That is a very good method to do liberal and it is great that you can do that, as challenging as it sounds, you can still do it. That's excellent! I can definately understand how you would feel less angry.
If you were talking to someone (we'll call alex) at a social gathering and noticed they weren't making eye contact with you...
If your thought was; Alex is being rude and insulting by ignoring you...how would you feel?
Now if your thought was; Alex doesn't find you interesting. I bore everybody...how would you feel then?
Lastly If your thought was; Alex seems shy. He's probabbly too uncomfortable to look at me...how would you feel then?
Would you find that you feel the same way in all 3 situations or would interpreting that situation in those diffrent ways, make you feel diffrent? What you feel is not fact, it is just a result of what you think!
Onto the labeling again, Nobody can be bad or horrible 100% of the time...labels are extreme statements. You can use this to overcome a label.
Say you are labeling yourself as a "Bad person". Firstly, what is the point of doing anything to change how you feel if you are always going to be a bad person? It is counter-productive and can often lead to people either giving up on their journey to get better or not even attempt at all. The Label IS NOT WORTH IT! So the best way to overcome a label is to convince yourself that this way of thinking doesn't make sense and holds no place in reality. How do you do this?
Write down what it is that makes you a bad person. What exactly would you have to be in order to fit the label "bad person". Would you have to "constantly" be doing bad things? Would it be because of some inadequacy like in order to be a bad person, you would have to not be able to overcome depression? So you want to write down your definition and ask yourself...a few questions:
Is it possible to only do bad things 24 hours a day or do i do some good things, some bad things and some neutral things?
Is it really possible to do only bad things?
How would this definition fit with everybody else...if your definition of bad person was accurate, would it mean that everybody in this world is a bad person?
Is it possible that you are just feeling this way because there is an area where you feel inadequate or would like to spend more time? and if this is true then is it possible to create goals in order to overcome this inadequacy or to spend more time in this area? or can you really say that you are 100% doomed and there is absolutely nothing you can do now or every to help?
If you work through one definition and it still doesn't feel right...then redefine it and work through that one and you may need to do this a few times but once you let this go, you feel sooooo much better about yourself, there is sooo much more hopefulness, so much less pressure, so much less negative self-talk, so much less self-resentment and anger and feelings of Doom!!!
If you want to learn more then check out the book Feeling Good by David D. Burns, M.D.
Mike
I'd first like to say, the concepts that are in this thread are not my own ideas but rather ideas of another but put into my own words and i'm happy to share them with you!
That is a very good method to do liberal and it is great that you can do that, as challenging as it sounds, you can still do it. That's excellent! I can definately understand how you would feel less angry.
If you were talking to someone (we'll call alex) at a social gathering and noticed they weren't making eye contact with you...
If your thought was; Alex is being rude and insulting by ignoring you...how would you feel?
Now if your thought was; Alex doesn't find you interesting. I bore everybody...how would you feel then?
Lastly If your thought was; Alex seems shy. He's probabbly too uncomfortable to look at me...how would you feel then?
Would you find that you feel the same way in all 3 situations or would interpreting that situation in those diffrent ways, make you feel diffrent? What you feel is not fact, it is just a result of what you think!
Onto the labeling again, Nobody can be bad or horrible 100% of the time...labels are extreme statements. You can use this to overcome a label.
Say you are labeling yourself as a "Bad person". Firstly, what is the point of doing anything to change how you feel if you are always going to be a bad person? It is counter-productive and can often lead to people either giving up on their journey to get better or not even attempt at all. The Label IS NOT WORTH IT! So the best way to overcome a label is to convince yourself that this way of thinking doesn't make sense and holds no place in reality. How do you do this?
Write down what it is that makes you a bad person. What exactly would you have to be in order to fit the label "bad person". Would you have to "constantly" be doing bad things? Would it be because of some inadequacy like in order to be a bad person, you would have to not be able to overcome depression? So you want to write down your definition and ask yourself...a few questions:
Is it possible to only do bad things 24 hours a day or do i do some good things, some bad things and some neutral things?
Is it really possible to do only bad things?
How would this definition fit with everybody else...if your definition of bad person was accurate, would it mean that everybody in this world is a bad person?
Is it possible that you are just feeling this way because there is an area where you feel inadequate or would like to spend more time? and if this is true then is it possible to create goals in order to overcome this inadequacy or to spend more time in this area? or can you really say that you are 100% doomed and there is absolutely nothing you can do now or every to help?
If you work through one definition and it still doesn't feel right...then redefine it and work through that one and you may need to do this a few times but once you let this go, you feel sooooo much better about yourself, there is sooo much more hopefulness, so much less pressure, so much less negative self-talk, so much less self-resentment and anger and feelings of Doom!!!
If you want to learn more then check out the book Feeling Good by David D. Burns, M.D.
Mike
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Guest
Hey Mike,
You shouldn't worry about taking credit, you've obviously practiced these things, and by doing so, you made them your own. So letting other people know about the knowledge that we learn is the right thing to do. I agree, that thinking in terms of black and white is one of the reasons we got into this mess. I think going through the program has helped me see things differently now, and i don't think like that any more, for the most part. I still have a way to go in my recovery and i'm still open to new ideas. Saying that, i will look for the book that you suggested and read it. I also like to look through these posts to see if i could help someone else. It makes me feel good about myself, and it's a way to give back. But sometimes i find something that can actually help me. Thank you Mike.
Bill
You shouldn't worry about taking credit, you've obviously practiced these things, and by doing so, you made them your own. So letting other people know about the knowledge that we learn is the right thing to do. I agree, that thinking in terms of black and white is one of the reasons we got into this mess. I think going through the program has helped me see things differently now, and i don't think like that any more, for the most part. I still have a way to go in my recovery and i'm still open to new ideas. Saying that, i will look for the book that you suggested and read it. I also like to look through these posts to see if i could help someone else. It makes me feel good about myself, and it's a way to give back. But sometimes i find something that can actually help me. Thank you Mike.
Bill
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Guest
ok well then how bout i take credit for imparting the information that i've learned.
I'd say nobody can be 100% better but we progress...there were many negative things i stopped doing the first round of going through the program and a few other things the other times i went through. I wouldn't say i am where i'd like to be yet myself but I am getting there!
Posting on the forums is a great way to work towards overcoming anxiety and depression for sure! One of the imbalances is that of feeling negative and feeling positive and this is a great way to tip the scales towards the positive side.
I'm happy that you find this useful! And yes that book is soooo amazing, I'm actually using it to make what i'd call my "cognitive Bible" which basically is just a refrence book which lists out and gives a one sentence description for the cognitive distortions, the typical behaviors that lead to procrastination and ways to over come it...well that is as far as i've gotten, but ya check that out and lemme know how it goes for you.
Mike
I'd say nobody can be 100% better but we progress...there were many negative things i stopped doing the first round of going through the program and a few other things the other times i went through. I wouldn't say i am where i'd like to be yet myself but I am getting there!
Posting on the forums is a great way to work towards overcoming anxiety and depression for sure! One of the imbalances is that of feeling negative and feeling positive and this is a great way to tip the scales towards the positive side.
I'm happy that you find this useful! And yes that book is soooo amazing, I'm actually using it to make what i'd call my "cognitive Bible" which basically is just a refrence book which lists out and gives a one sentence description for the cognitive distortions, the typical behaviors that lead to procrastination and ways to over come it...well that is as far as i've gotten, but ya check that out and lemme know how it goes for you.
Mike