Session 3 -- Should I go to 4 or stay here?

[PB2704]

I'm about to finish the week of Session 3. I've done the writing but have gotten a little scared by the "You must learn how to talk yourself out of being afraid." "You must learn how to have compassion for yourself." All these things that tell what I need to have mastered before going on because these are pivotal in the program... (page 36 in the workbook) Naturally I am being critical of myself and not sure whether to go on or not. I have some major things going on in my life but I will not be working for awhile and have time to really work this program. My anxiety/depression have held me back all my life... Anyway, has anyone else gotten a little bogged down in trying to do the exercises in the right order? The end of the session 3 CD tells me to do the exercises in the workbook. On page 9 in the work book is a weekly schedule to follow. There are a lot of writing exercises so I have been journaling about my feelings for 10 minutes eacy day, then listing insights I have had... It is just not as cut and dry as I thought it would be. I do listen to the relaxation tape a lot. I have had a breakthrough, an ahaa moment, realizing that a lot of what I am thinking about all the time is rehearsing conversations with people trying to explain what is wrong with my and why I act the way I do. I never realized I had this, well, I did know it but didn't know the nature of it. I just thought I was weak and could not handle normal everyday things that don't upset everyone else like they do me. does that even make sense? This monkey mind thinking I do is very negative even though it is not doom and gloom. It is jsut not productive and never helps anything. So to sum all this up, I feel like I may need to stay in Session 3 and try and work some more of of the exercises in there... If anyone has any ideas they think might helpme, please let me know. I just don't think I'm "there yet" with the healthy self esteem component of recovery...

[madtrkkllr]

I too found myself a little anxious on step 3 because I don't know how to be compassionate about myself and have a healthy self-esteem. Sure, when I'm not anxious I can self-talk all my positives but in the heat of anxiety, rational thinking goes out the window. Especially for this OCD/Hypochondriac (Yes, it's spelled right.lol). I know the program discourages skipping or altering the sessions, but when I spoke to someone at StressCenter I described what was going on with me and she said "Listen to step 2 again. Then go straight to session 12. They go hand in hand. Don't do the homework for session 12 but just listen to it." I found this to be extremely helpful. I would suggest trying this out as well. Hope it helps...

Madtrkkllr

[PB2704]

Thanks! I appreciate the feedback... I spoke to someone in the coaching dept at the Stress Ctr and she told me since I have a perfectionistic attitude I'm feeling like I can't go on because I can't quite "get" the positive self talk think going... Since I obsess about conversations I'm going to have about so and so or what would someone else think, etc... all the time, all the time, all the time and never stop this I don't give myself the time to try positive self talk... I'll give your suggestion a try... I'm sure I'm a hypochondriac, too.... It is like this with me: If I am sick I can stop and take time off from "my job" of beating myself up and all the conversation-rehearsing... I read another post of yours and it looks like you are really working the program and working toward getting better. Through these posts let me know how you are doing, ok! Thanks again for answering!