I Hit Bottom: Pulmonary Embolisms

[ItsOkayThisIsGood]

I bought this program in 2008, but could not get myself past the first few sessions.

I was so into my anxiety disorder that I was unable to help myself until I just hit bottom this September. I started coughing up blood. After several weeks of misdiagnosed "pneumonia" I was rushed by ambulance to the hospital, where a chest CT found I had multiple blood clots in my lungs. I also needed a blood transfusion of 2 pints. I still cough up blood occasionally and must take serious blood thinner medication.

Due to my avoidance problems, I had not been able to get myself to apply for health insurance prior to and during this. I had a fear of application questions. Now I have two massive hospital bills which will likely mean another bankruptcy (due in part to credit card debt as well).

I've been unable to work for nearly 3 months but just beginning to get it together. Since I'm already familiar with the first few sessions, I'm starting the program over again on Session 3.

AND THIS TIME I'M TAKING IT SERIOUSLY, BECAUSE THIS DISORDER IS NOW LIFE OR DEATH FOR ME, AT AGE 40.

Not trying to further scare anyone. Just saying: take this disorder seriously. It only gets worse if you don't work a program or get therapy!

I'm also seeing a therapist but honestly I think Lucinda will help me more. I'm clinging to this program for dear life now, because my anxiety is now off the the chain.

I also have scoliosis and difficulty breathing from that on top of my lung. No doubt, my 30 years of anxiety has taken its toll.

I'm writing out my negative thoughts in the spiral notebook. Will give it all I can until I get better.

Thanks for listening, good luck to all of you!

[Paisleegreen]

Its good to hear that you are starting to work the program again. You will feel better as you do the whole program.

I just practiced getting over an anxiety feeling just an hour ago, by giving myself positive self talk. I decided to go downstairs in our storage room to find Manger Scene Figurines that I put out every Christmas. I went in hoping I would find it, but saw how my son in older teens had put all of my stuff and changed things around.

I just felt this anger or irritation well up inside of me and felt the anxious symptoms begin in my gut and legs. I could tell this was a trigger as this is unfinished business w/ this son. So I found my manger scene in its new box I put it in, and then I got my vacuum that was down there as well and started to use my newfound energy on the stairs.

Then I just talked myself down and remembered what Lucinda says about cleaning closets, etc.
I also went and had some tuna on toast which helped since I hadn't eaten yet either.

I vacuumed some more in my bedroom and hallway, and felt better. Then I set up the Manger Scene. Next I'm going to get dressed and get out into some sunshine. Paislee

[anita57]

i had a pulmanary embolism also about 3 years ago - which was about 3 years after my mother and husband died within 4 months of each other after having the blood clots i was on medicine for 1 yr and that is when my bad aniexty started -i begged the doctor to let me just keep taking the medication because i was scared they would come back - just thinking about it now i still break out in a sweat - i would go to the emergenty room about every 6 mths because i just knew that they had returned they would do a ct scan and it would be negative - then i had a friend that died of blood clots last year which really thru me for a loop - i go to therapy and he helps - but i started this program after i became helpless and hopeless could not even watch tv - and still cant watch some of the shows such as doctors on tv - but this program is helping with coping and also meds - i do better as time goes on