Need a little reassurance

[Shawn319]

After thinking about what I was really looking for in posting, it comes down to a little reassurance.

I'm starting the program again (about the third time), and this time I'm actually taking it as serious as it needs to be taken. The other times where more or less half-hearted and I'd let it slide. Not this time. Anyway, I'm in the middle of Session 3. I'm getting it, but doing this whole program seems to have raised my anxiety and panic levels. For me, the body symptoms are a big thing and big trigger. Primarily the sweating -- hands, feet, etc. When the weather is cold it's much more uncomfortable, and this will right away cause anxiety and panic levels to go up. I'm fighting through it -- or should I say trying to just float through it and not let it drag me down like it has in the past. But, sometimes the negative thoughts creep in, like "am I going in the right direction" and "will this actually work for me"? I know, sounds like standard negative thinking. I'm just trying to take one day at a time and restate those negative thoughts into something postitive. I guess I'd like to hear from anyone who shares these symptoms and also some first hand comments from the other side of this. Cause sometimes it's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks in advance for any reply. This is my first post, so maybe down the road I can be of assistance to others as well as I try to frequent these boards more.

[NinjaFrodo]

Shawn319

Congrats for getting threw the program and starting it again. I believe many of us who have gone through the program once have realized later that it is necessary to do it again. We pick up the base stuff the first time around but then we get the deeper stuff after that.

Returning to the program is definately going to raise anxiety levels no question, especially if you are like most of us and expect to be all better after the first time around. It can feel like you've failed when you start back up...on the other hand maybe there was a new link made between those scary thoughts and facing anxiety. Meaning that your mind has sees facing anxiety the way it does with certain limitations you would have and stimulates the same fight or flight response. Either way how you are feeling is completely normal.

I think you're doing a great job already. You've accepted that there is still things you need to work on when it comes to anxiety and depression, you have goals, and you've got determination despite the negative thinking. This is excellent. What i've found from my own experience and with several others that sometimes its good to understand things more in depth to remove the fear. Maybe learning more about stress on a physiological level could help you to accept that what you are doing is going to help you. There is light at the end of the tunnel, but we have to appreciate how far we have gotten through the tunnel instead of focusing on not being at the end yet.

If you were to sailboat and before the program you were going due north and then while you did the program it shifted your direction 2 degrees east. Do you think you're going to end up at the same destination? Give yourself credit for every little goal you do and the big goals will take care of themself.

Mike

[Sierra]

I like your reply ninja!
yeah, I agree, I finished the program a couple years ago and I still pop in a tape once in awhile, and when I do, I get anxious automatically, I think some of it is memory and some of it is, yeah I still need to work on some things. Shawn 319, dont be afraid to work in some of your own variations to problems, I think following the program word for word can also be anxiety producing. I think its great to go through it again though, I still get new stuff out of it when I go back to check in.

[Shawn319]

NinjaFrodo and Sierra,

Thanks for the comments. I should clarify a bit. I started the program a few times in the past, but didn't complete it. I got a little way through and did see some benefits, but let it drop off. In retrospect that seems like such an unwise decision. But, this time I'm determined to see it through. Part of me wants to just do what they have outlined, because I'm already doing things through the program that I don't want to do but should do -- the whole changing behavior patterns thing. So, I don't want to deviate too much because for me that can be a slippery slope to "going easy on something" or "just skipping that part this one time". Again, thanks for the comments. You hit on a good point NinjaFrodo -- focus on the little goals and celebrate them when you accomplish them. They will add up and amount to larger change.

[NinjaFrodo]

Sierra

I wanted to comment on how you mentioned following the program word for word can also produce anxiety sentence. This is a very good point and I believe one thing that happens is that we beat ourself up for not completing every last thing instead of looking at the things we did do. I believe this is part of it becoming anxiety producing. The key is really your heart. Listen to what it says. I am not saying to listen to what your mind says because it is definately going to want to go for the easiest road. It is the heart that tells you to go for the road that is going to help you out the most.

Shawn319

Starting the program a few times but not completing it is alright. Sometimes we get to a point where it feels more comfortable and then we stop. That's alright. There is no failure in this. You obviously learned that it wasn't enough as you said you started again and so you got something out of stopping.

As for the focusing on the little goals part. I'm just learning and experiencing this now and I've gone through the program at least 8 times now...only 1 of those times was completely.

Mike