I feel like I am not worth getting my life back
I have been on the program for 3 weeks and I still don't feel like I am good enough for my like to be normal. I have felt for years that I am not as good has other people and that there is no way that God loves me. I often feel why am I taking up space here on this earth. I didn't start feeling this way until about 12 years ago. I thing it all started from the abusive marriage that I had of 24 years. My husband hit me and called me names for years and I never did anything about it. Now I have been seperated for nearly a year and still have no self-esteem. I am a very indepentent women and strong willed so I can't understand why I feel this way. I have days that I just can't seem to go on. Food is my only comfort. I have gain weight and feel tired all the time. So I was wondering if there is anyone at there like me and will this program help?
I feel a lot like that, except for the "normal" part, because I don't remember a time before depression. I do know how badly abusive relationships can hurt, and in many ways. 24 years is a long time, and even if the abuse only started halfway through, 12 years is still a long time, especially when you're hurting. Recovery from it is a long process. I was only in an abusive relationship for just under 2 years, and I'm still dealing with the effects of it (it ended over 3 years ago). You have no self-esteem because you have been conditioned to be that way. The most important thing to realize about your relationship is that you are out of it and you survived. You have to be strong to have done that. I can't say how long that will take, because I still struggle with that concept.
I only just started the 3rd week, so like you I'm hoping this will help, but I don't know yet.
Do you have a support system at all (friends/family)? Have you started divorce proceedings? I can't imagine how stressful that probably seems, but it's an important step towards your freedom from him, physically and emotionally.
I only just started the 3rd week, so like you I'm hoping this will help, but I don't know yet.
Do you have a support system at all (friends/family)? Have you started divorce proceedings? I can't imagine how stressful that probably seems, but it's an important step towards your freedom from him, physically and emotionally.
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold
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Guest
DaisyLady
Of course you're feeling like you aren't good enough to live a normal life. You were beaten and your power was taken away from you and how can you feel good about yourself when someone has beat you? You tried so hard to make that marriage work and you even made huge sacrifices to your own wellbeing and there wasn't so much focus on nourishing yourself. This is absolutely normal to feel this way because the abuse got the ball rolling and it planted a seed inside your subconscious and eventually what was originally just in your husbands mind had migrated to your own and became a vicious cycle.
You are out of that relationship and You should be damn proud of yourself for that. This is a huge step to getting your power back and a huge step to respecting who you are. You might have this vicious cycle still going on in your mind but you have gotten yourself out of the dangerous situation and now is the time to start working on the negative and untrue ways of thinking that you've developed over that time with your husband.
By the way do not blame yourself for finding comfort in food. We all need crutches at times and these crutches may not be the best things for us but they have helped us to cope and that is really important and the wonderful thing with having a crutch like this is that you can reverse the effects...instead of crutches like really heavy drugs that can permenantly affect your life.
I am sorry you're suffering with this and that you feel tired all of the time. This may be there for awhile the tiredness I mean but it will gradually get less and less. 2 of the main factors for this are the diet as well as the thinking...the thinking above all i would say is what makes us the most lethargic but worry not you are in a great place and you should be proud of yourself for taking the steps to overcoming your limitations
and this is why you deserve a good life.
Mike
Of course you're feeling like you aren't good enough to live a normal life. You were beaten and your power was taken away from you and how can you feel good about yourself when someone has beat you? You tried so hard to make that marriage work and you even made huge sacrifices to your own wellbeing and there wasn't so much focus on nourishing yourself. This is absolutely normal to feel this way because the abuse got the ball rolling and it planted a seed inside your subconscious and eventually what was originally just in your husbands mind had migrated to your own and became a vicious cycle.
You are out of that relationship and You should be damn proud of yourself for that. This is a huge step to getting your power back and a huge step to respecting who you are. You might have this vicious cycle still going on in your mind but you have gotten yourself out of the dangerous situation and now is the time to start working on the negative and untrue ways of thinking that you've developed over that time with your husband.
By the way do not blame yourself for finding comfort in food. We all need crutches at times and these crutches may not be the best things for us but they have helped us to cope and that is really important and the wonderful thing with having a crutch like this is that you can reverse the effects...instead of crutches like really heavy drugs that can permenantly affect your life.
I am sorry you're suffering with this and that you feel tired all of the time. This may be there for awhile the tiredness I mean but it will gradually get less and less. 2 of the main factors for this are the diet as well as the thinking...the thinking above all i would say is what makes us the most lethargic but worry not you are in a great place and you should be proud of yourself for taking the steps to overcoming your limitations
and this is why you deserve a good life.Mike
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Guest
COngratulations for getting out of your bad situation. I think you might try very hard to stick to every step outlined in this program - it would do you wonders. Part of the program contains suggested readings - one is a book by Lucinda, another is a book by Shad Helmstetter titled: "What to Say When You Talk to Your Self".
I also listened to a CD by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale:" The Power of Positive Thinking". All these materials support and reinforce what we have in our video series, CD's and workbook. If you have the desire to TRY this program - the way it has been developed, you embark in the road of recovery - certainly if you must talk to an expert medical or otherwise, do it! Courage!
I also listened to a CD by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale:" The Power of Positive Thinking". All these materials support and reinforce what we have in our video series, CD's and workbook. If you have the desire to TRY this program - the way it has been developed, you embark in the road of recovery - certainly if you must talk to an expert medical or otherwise, do it! Courage!
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Guest
Thanks to all that wrote back. It has help more than you could ever know. I see why the attacking anxiety & depression program stresses to join the peer group program. I am one to not tell people my personal problems especially the parts of my life where my husband has hurt me and has emotionally abused me to where I repeat the words in my thoughts daily that he has said to me. It is a wonderful piece of mine to hear all of your respondes. I have been needing to hear some positive words in my life for a long time. I know that it will be a long road for me, but I am going to beat this part of my life and I am hopeful that one day I to can be an insperation to someone like you all have been to me.
Daisylady
Daisylady
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Guest
Awe thanks Daisylady
Keep in mind there is one thing that every human has in common on this earth...we all feel pain and we've all suffered with something. The suffering of one person is not just that person's suffering alone. It is the suffering of humanity and so you aren't the only one having a struggle. You have many people around here that know exactly what you've been through and are going through now. If we can have related suffering, we can have shared support
Mike
Keep in mind there is one thing that every human has in common on this earth...we all feel pain and we've all suffered with something. The suffering of one person is not just that person's suffering alone. It is the suffering of humanity and so you aren't the only one having a struggle. You have many people around here that know exactly what you've been through and are going through now. If we can have related suffering, we can have shared support
Mike
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Guest
I HAVE NOT BEEN ABUSED BUT I BELIEVE SATAN HAS USED YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS WORDS TO PULL YOU DOWN. GOD LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW. I USED TO THINK THERE WAS NO WAY GOD COULD LOVE EVERYONE IN THE WORLD THAT MUCH SO I FOUND A HUSBAND THAT I PUT ALL MY FAITH IN. GUESS WHAT HE IS GONE. GOD HAS SHOWN ME I CAN ONLY LOVE AND DEPEND ON HIM. WHO WANTS YOU TO THINK GOD DOESN'T LOVE YOU? SATAN. DON'T GIVE HIM THAT POWER OVER YOU. I AM ON SESSION 3 WEEK 3. HAVING SUCCCESS BECAUSE I WON'T LET SATAN WIN. WITH GOD'S HELP I WILL WIN.
God works in strange ways satan will try to pull you down and never rests to achieve that goal. When he enters your head he will beat you up if you let him. You are worth a lot, and probably ways you don't realize. I'm in session 2 and already i'm feeling better. Notice I didn't put satan's name in caps. Remember this some day we will all be together with a set of wings, surrounded by LOVE. we all have different challenges and different paths, but we all have to stay together mentally
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold