I started session 3 yesterday.
I can fully addmit that i am a negative thinker. when i watched/listen to session 3 and the main objective was writing down all negative thoughts and writing a positve for each negative. all day long all my negative thoughts were on my mother-in-law. for the past 2-3 years our relationship has gone down hill i have now been with my wife for 11 years. since i got sick with this problem, and have been hospitalized, she has been a negative person in my life which causes negativity with my wife. for the most part my wife is on my side because she has seen changes in me, and supports me; though the stress for her mother shows a impacted on our relationship..
Some of the negative thoughts with regards to my mother-in-law are some really bad names, i feel that she is a negative person, i feel bad vibs, i feel that she does not treat me with respect, or as an equal, a better than though attitude, she has stated that when i was hospitalized that it was a two month vacation, it didn't do anything, and that i'm only looking for attention....
The only positive thought that i can put to this person is that she is a person who loves my 9 month old daughter and that if it was not for her i would not have the family i have today because i would not have my wife. i feel that the only way to fix this relationship and help the relationship with my wife is to see a third party to let all feelings and thoughts out...
Any advice from anyone with regards to helping fix a hurting family in need would be appreciated... Thank you, Crusher19.
Negative thoughts to in-law by Crusher19
Hello Crusher19,
It sounds like you had a good relationship with her before your health changed. Maybe she is harboring some anxiety about your situation too. Your thought about seeking help from a third party sounds like a good idea. But you may want to finish Lucinda's program first. I am only on session 4, so I don't know what answers will come after finishing the program, but there may be something further there for you too. But like you say, this may just need a little TLC. Maybe just a good sit down discussion with her might help.
I have learned that as our parents age, they become less patient and sometimes with aging illnesses, they become down right unkind and they don't even know they're doing it. I don't know her age, but maybe she is worried about you and doesn't know how to deal with her feelings. Don't know, just a thought, I am not a specialist or doctor or anything, so this is just my thinking in response to your post. I hope it is helpful for you.
My inlaws, and I mean every one of them, are a stick in my side and have been since I've known my husband - 19 years. They have definitely been a contributor to my anxiety. It sounds like your wife supports you and your mom-in-law may be going through a change or something. It sounds like there is hope for you.
I hope I have been helpful for you.
Good luck,
Eileen
It sounds like you had a good relationship with her before your health changed. Maybe she is harboring some anxiety about your situation too. Your thought about seeking help from a third party sounds like a good idea. But you may want to finish Lucinda's program first. I am only on session 4, so I don't know what answers will come after finishing the program, but there may be something further there for you too. But like you say, this may just need a little TLC. Maybe just a good sit down discussion with her might help.
I have learned that as our parents age, they become less patient and sometimes with aging illnesses, they become down right unkind and they don't even know they're doing it. I don't know her age, but maybe she is worried about you and doesn't know how to deal with her feelings. Don't know, just a thought, I am not a specialist or doctor or anything, so this is just my thinking in response to your post. I hope it is helpful for you.
My inlaws, and I mean every one of them, are a stick in my side and have been since I've known my husband - 19 years. They have definitely been a contributor to my anxiety. It sounds like your wife supports you and your mom-in-law may be going through a change or something. It sounds like there is hope for you.
I hope I have been helpful for you.
Good luck,
Eileen