I'm stuck

mandi77 · Post by **mandi77** » Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:57 pm

Hey everyone:
I'm still on week three when I should be on week five and I am feeling like a complete fraud. I purchased this program and I was really excited at the prospect of getting better. I got to session three and I stopped. My mother is the one who encouraged me to buy the program and she asks me if I am listening the CD's every time she sees that I am getting stressed. She has no sympathy for me when she hears I'm not working the program. Not that I need to tell her, she just seems to know. Someone posted a topic recently that I can relate to. It said something about relaxing making them nervous. I think that is my problem. I try to listen to the CD's and I seem to get distracted now. This did not happen for the first week or so. The phone will ring, or someone comes to the door-whatever! Now I realize that I am refusing to listen because I am anticipating an interruption. Maybe I should listen at night, but then I think, Oh, that's no good, I'll just go to sleep and have to listen over again. To anyone who is still reading this, I'm sure you can tell that I am a prime candidate for this program. I have an answer for everything, and yet no answers at all. If anyone else can relate to this, let me know.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:50 am

Hey mandi77 first of all you got the program and you started to work on the lessons, that's great and you should be proud of yourself for that despite how anybody reacts to you. So what if you haven't gotten to lesson 5 yet, many of the people here do the same thing because they feel they should've mastered lesson 3 before moving on. It's only reasonable that perfectionistic people would make that move, I've done it a few times myself actually.

Is it possible that your mother is just wanting you to get better as she did encourage you to get the program, maybe she nags you too much though.

As for the relaxation cd, I've had problems relaxing myself and it was very hard to continue with the relaxation cd but I got myself to do it and am doing it 3X a day. The best times would be right when you wake up and right when you go to sleep and if it makes you fall asleep then great! It doesn't matter if you only heard it partially before getting to sleep, it's not important to always listen to the full thing. With the phone distraction just put it on mute or disconnect it for that 15 minutes.

As for lesson 3 it is very easy to get stuck on this lesson. That lesson tells us to use positive self talk and this is very difficult for people who are depressed as they aren't used to it and on top of that, the anxiety and depression heavily affects our creativity and that would make it difficult too. The relaxation cd helps us to get that creativity back which is one of the reasons why it's so important and the program also gets you to go back and listen to the lesson 3 cd a few times. Nobody gets a good grasp of lesson 3 in one week, only partially and as the program goes along it gets better.

By the way are you having any problems with your digestion or BMs?

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:44 pm

To NinjaFrodo:
Thank you for responding. What you are saying makes perfect sense. No, I would never tell others that their achievements don't count. I can see myself giving others the same advice you have given me. The problem is, I have trouble taking advice! It's all part of the anxiety/depression if you understand what I'm saying. In answer to your question, I don't have any digestive problems.

KDlady · Post by **KDlady** » Fri Oct 09, 2009 3:57 am

Your welcome. I think we all have trouble taking advice to an extent as sometimes it comes off as people telling us that we aren't doing it right...or controlling even and we strive for independance. Anyways the good thing about giving advice on forums is that it stays there and maybe it'll come in handy later on.

As for the digestive issues I am mostly looking at constipation. When i say constipation i mean going more than 1 day without a bowel movement and the stool being dry. There is a correlation between the intestines and the ability to let go psychologically too. It can also make it difficult to take on new tasks (eastern medical theory) and personally i find that when i am regular it makes it sooo much easier to do things and I actually want to. When i don't i just feel so heavy and I don't care to do anything.

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 10:07 pm

Hi mandi..I totally know where your coming from here. Unfortunately procrastination seems to be something ALOT of people with anxiety problems share. I'm with Ninja in the fact that I have started and stopped the program MANY times. I also found that I couldn't relax with the relaxation tape the first several times I tried and would let myself be distracted instead of using it. Eventually I gave up on it. I also want to let you know that I did finally finish the program, yay me, and the positive changes I have made are wonderful. I'm slowly taking my life back a day at a time. I also worked the program with a coach from the StressCenter.com, and that was the icing on the cake for me. With that said I will tell you that I worked my butt of for the great progress I've made, it wasn't always easy, and it sure was never quick enough for me. Whether you do the program through and how well you do in it is up to you. Nobody else mandi, just you. You have to want it bad enough to do it. Procrastionation is just the result of being afraid. Don't give up, keep plugging through at your own pace. You won't be disappointed. Good luck to you. Deanna

sherry2010 · Post by **sherry2010** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 4:27 am

I just started session 6 today. Is anyone else going through having up & down days? I can't seem to get two days in a row where i feel good. And I already know my biggest problem is staying positive. I have so many negative thoughts. Although I work on the positive self dialogue all day long. It's just not clicking for me. Any suggestions?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 8:28 am

DeeCee

We all have up and down days. I get them all the time and i'm realizing now i get them more after eatting alot of processed sugar.

Progress is seldom a straight line. You have good days where it goes up and then you hit obsticals where it goes down but then you learn from the down and it brings you up higher.

From what i see I think your expectations are a little high on yourself. Nobody going through this program is going to have all good days and just progress, everybody (that includes you) is going to have struggles. You may feel that your not doing it right but that is the only thing that leads you to it. Are feelings always correct? Have you ever noticed where they weren't true?

It takes time for the positive self dialogue to really work, nobody can go from being a negative self talker to a positive self talker in the matter of a day or even a week. You need to first learn how to crawl before you learn how to walk.

You've realized you have the problem, you took action and got the program and you've already made it to lesson 6 (by the way I always get stuck on lesson 6), 3 really great accomplishments already. You should be really proud of yourself

Mike