How do u stay possitive when ppl are always complaining

caymandiver · Post by **caymandiver** » Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:23 am

I am on session 3 and finding it hard to keep focused on the positive reinforcements. I am a business owner we do work for the hospitality industry. I am always having too meet an impossible deline. I actually fired a customer last week and now feel guilty about it. What do you tell someone that is expecting the impossible. Even though I remind myself of the positive I find myself multitasking. LOL I actually feel like the negative thoughts are on autopilot. I am repeating to myself its all good but in the back of my mind Im not convinced.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 11, 2008 3:49 am

I struggle with Session 3 daily. On my good days I do really well on my postive attitude...on my bad days...not so well. I think that's just the nature of the beast. From chatting with people on here I have noticed that Session 3 is hard for many people. Someone I was chatting with on here told me I needed to write down all of my negative thoughts just like they say to do on the CD. The problem with that was that I had SO MANY negative thoughts, just the thought of writing them all down became a negative thought...lol. So someone said that Carolyn had told them to just write down 5 a day and work on making those into positves. That really helped me. It doesn't get so overwhelming but yet you can see what is going on in your thinking. We are surronded by negative people...and somehow it's up to us (the ones that are suffering from anxiety and depression) to make it better.

At first the positives don't sound believable...but the more you do it the easier it will be. I am starting Session 10 today but I still go back and listen to Session 3 at least once a week. Your just getting started so hang in there. The more you do it the better it will be. Get something with a Big Yellow Smiley Face to put in your office...maybe that will help to think about being more postive

I wish you the best!! Hope this helped a little....

Sincerely,
Mindi

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 11, 2008 5:24 am

Hi everyone, I am Joy the lady who is retired, living alone and is now 69! I am still struggling a bit to find my way around the computer so again hope this message gets through o.k. Actually, I am starting session 3 today and I haven't listened to the cd yet so it will be interesting to see how I feel after I've listened. Really I just wanted to tell you what a tough morning I have had today and I often find that mornings are by far the worst. I have had 3 pretty good days, actually went to see the movie Mama Mia yesterday, and have been out for a dinner a couple of times. I do have one really good male friend who also suffers with this anxiety/depression condition so we go out together quite a lot. Otherwise, I am pretty much alone having lost 3 sisters and 1 brother so I am the only one left and I find that very difficult. Anyway, to get back to what I wanted to tell you - I woke up this morning about 7 a.m and just didn't want to get up then - when I thought of the day ahead it just felt like there were all those hours to be filled somehow and everything just felt so miserable. I would really like to just sleep the day away (big escape) but find I can't sleep like I used to so perhaps that is a good thing. I finally got myself out of bed about 9 a.m. feeling awful, I immediately put the kettle on for a cup of tea, turn on the computer and then perhaps turn on the T.V. I feel very weepy, very alone and I suppose sort of sorry for myself. Actually I find my eyes fill up so easily, for any little reason, am I just too sensitive? It is now noon and I am feeling a bit better, I was brought up on a farm in England with a large family and always lots going on and when I think of those memories it's hard to believe I have ended up like this. I don't know whether I will get out today or not, I know it is good to go for a walk but just getting ready to go is a huge effort! I have worked all my life and that is what kept me going but I know I always have suffered with anxiety/depression. I live in a great area in Toronto with shops, restaurants, etc. all around so perhaps I feel guilty when I don't appreciate the good things, I don't know. I am in a seniors' building but don't feel like socializing with the other tenants much, they play bingo downstairs, etc. but it doesn't feel like my cup of tea right now so perhaps I am my own worst enemy! I have 3 nieces and 1 nephew here in Canada but they are two hours away and seem to have given up on me, that hurts - also have nieces and nephews in England but there is little contact with them either, its not like having sisters and brothers. I do try to realize they have busy lives of their own but a short e-mail now and again would be so welcome. I am trying to keep in tough with them through e-mail and sometimes phoning but right now am getting no response. Perhaps I'm just a pain in the neck to them, I truly never thought it would come to this. Think I have rambled on long enough but would love to hear from you with any thoughts/suggestions, etc. Does anyone else have the morning thing? Looking forward to hearing from you. Oh, I would like to put up a photograph somewhere but don't know how to do this. I think I just want you to know me as much as possible. I can be full of life, probably talk too much when I'm with others but these times by myself are sometimes so difficult. This must sound like a very negative message, sorry. Hopefully the next one will be better
Thanks for your support.
Joy

Marshall · Post by **Marshall** » Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:17 am

caymandiver - This is a difficult one and wish I had some truly enlightening and inspiring words. Unfortunately the nature of some businesses will bring a lot of complaining people, as people always want things 'now' and can be really demanding when they want it. I don't know what to say except tell yourself it is not personal and that you're doing a good job at what you are doing. Maybe lower some of your expectations
for behavior as it suggests in one of our sessions. People don't always act they way we expect them to. Try not to let it effect how you feel about yourself and your work.

Joy - I would like to reply but it gets confusing when it's on someone else's topic thread since they want us to keep to the original topic. Can you create your own topic? Do you know how? You would most probably receive several replies if you could do this. Try it. Click on "New" and then click on "Discussion" to start your own topic. Keep trying - you'll get it.