Mike (Re. Post Sept. 16, 6:54 AM) -
I like your idea of identifying and discussing inspiring people. First, I have to agree with your choice of Susan Boyle. When I can't sleep at night, I sometimes will go on YouTube and watch the older episodes of the various talent shows. Susan's audition video, which is the same one that the picture you posted is from, is one that I can watch over and over. Everything you said about her is spot on. Good choice.
I have someone I find inspiring as well. I've decided not to give his name or picture. The reason is that he's in political commentary and I don't want to bring controversy into the thread since people either seem to love him or hate him with very little in between. But what I admire about him is that he stands up for his convictions, even if I don't agree with all of them. When he believes something is wrong or that someone is being taken advantage of, he has no fear of voicing his opinion and trying to take action to correct things. He has tremendous self confidence and doesn't care what others think of him. I also admire that he respects other people even when he disagrees with their point of view or opinions. Lastly, I admire that he donates so much of his wealth to charity and making the world a better place.
Jamie
The Challenge...Lesson 3
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Guest
Lindalee (Re. Post Sept. 16, 2:21 PM) -
I can't tell you how impressed I am that you were able to take care of the obligations required by your farm without any support. I think this is a case of "not seeing the forest for the trees." What I'm saying is by focusing on a few details that made you unhappy, you're taking away from the huge accomplishment you made. If I was in your shoes, I very easily could have just thrown up my hands and said I can't deal with this and let the hay rot. But you took care of what needed to be done and did it the best way you knew how. This is a success all the way and don't let your inner doubts take any of that away from you.
As for you husband, I guess you just have to let him know that you did the best you could and leave it at that. If he wants it done another way, he's more than welcome to do it himself.
About the sugar and caffeine, that can be tough. I was able to give up caffeine mostly out of necessity. It made my panic attacks noticeably worse so it was an easy choice for me to eliminate it from my diet. Sugar on the other hand is a much more difficult target for me. It doesn't seem to cause any obvious problems for me so it's much harder to let go of. Not to mention I have a huge sweet tooth and I would be very sad to see it go. I know it's not good for me but I do get a little joy every time a have a cookie. Is that so wrong?
I completely understand your frustration with these horrible conditions. It would almost be better to have tumor just so we had something physical to point to rather than these intangible feelings and beliefs that exist somewhere in our brains. When you're feeling really angry, sometimes the best thing is to just let it all out. Obviously you'll want to do this in controlled way like jumping up and down or hitting a pillow. It doesn't help to keep strong emotions like that all bottled up and never let them out. Just be sure not to let them out on someone else or to be destructive in a way that you will regret later. Even vigorous exercise can help me let out anger. I just let my feet pound the pavement as I run, squashing the fears and worries and irritants as I go.
Jamie
I can't tell you how impressed I am that you were able to take care of the obligations required by your farm without any support. I think this is a case of "not seeing the forest for the trees." What I'm saying is by focusing on a few details that made you unhappy, you're taking away from the huge accomplishment you made. If I was in your shoes, I very easily could have just thrown up my hands and said I can't deal with this and let the hay rot. But you took care of what needed to be done and did it the best way you knew how. This is a success all the way and don't let your inner doubts take any of that away from you.
As for you husband, I guess you just have to let him know that you did the best you could and leave it at that. If he wants it done another way, he's more than welcome to do it himself.
About the sugar and caffeine, that can be tough. I was able to give up caffeine mostly out of necessity. It made my panic attacks noticeably worse so it was an easy choice for me to eliminate it from my diet. Sugar on the other hand is a much more difficult target for me. It doesn't seem to cause any obvious problems for me so it's much harder to let go of. Not to mention I have a huge sweet tooth and I would be very sad to see it go. I know it's not good for me but I do get a little joy every time a have a cookie. Is that so wrong?
I completely understand your frustration with these horrible conditions. It would almost be better to have tumor just so we had something physical to point to rather than these intangible feelings and beliefs that exist somewhere in our brains. When you're feeling really angry, sometimes the best thing is to just let it all out. Obviously you'll want to do this in controlled way like jumping up and down or hitting a pillow. It doesn't help to keep strong emotions like that all bottled up and never let them out. Just be sure not to let them out on someone else or to be destructive in a way that you will regret later. Even vigorous exercise can help me let out anger. I just let my feet pound the pavement as I run, squashing the fears and worries and irritants as I go.
Jamie
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Guest
I am on the road to recovery and will recover> Each day Iam 1 step closer to my goals. I will continue to work hard because I refuse to let anxiety, fear, and depression control my life. I am changing and change is good!
Friday and today went well for me. I think I should give a lil bit of history. Anxiety/depression since 1992. Agorophobic from 2006 - 2008. 2009 I started driving 1-2 miles from home and could go in local small stores. December 2009 I had my live in ex-boyfriend of 7 yrs arrested for domestic violence. He is an alcoholic and I was blamed for everything and lied to almost on a daily basis. It was a very degrading relationship and left me with no self-esteem. I met a domestic counselor who continues to work with me for my anxiety/depression. Since he was arrested I have gone through alot of anxiety and basically went back to my agoraphobia. My counselor was starting to get me back out of the house and things were going very good. Then, about 6 weeks ago I had 2 major panic attacks in 1 week. Scared me so bad I didnt leave the house again for about 3 weeks. So now I am about 3 weeks back to leaving the house. I drive maybe a mile and can go to a couple store, but doing both cause me anxiety. I re-started the program back about 5 weeks ago.
So, Friday was good. I wanted to go to a certain store, but I have to cross a major intersection that causes me high anxiety. The store also is difficult for me cuz it is a place where I have paicked before. So I talked myself through it and made it to the store. Inside I was very anxious and felt like I was in a fog. I was able to control my breathing and concentrate enough to get what I needed. Although I hurried through the store, I did make it to the check-out. At the register I realized my laundry detergent was on sale and had a coupon (I am a coupon freak lol)...so I thought for about 30 seconds, as the detergent is way in the back along the wall. I decided I could do it and went back n bought another one. By then I was so happy with myself my anxiety had decreased alot
When I left I actually stopped at another stoe
In the afternoon I purposely went driving around at about 3pm because I knew the traffic was increasing. (I do not like traffic because I feel trapped. I usually do my driving late in the evening.) I was able to drive around and actually sit at a few lights.
Today was good also. I got some things done around the house. The whole summer I have been a procrasinater, using the heat as an excuse to not get things done. My son and grandson stopped over this afternoon and I did some yard work with my grandson helping out He makes me so happy He just turned 3 in June. I cut the grass and he used his bubble mower. Also, we went in the garden and picked some tomatoes. He loves to pick them After dinner, I went outside and played dodge ball with my 15yo daughter, her boyfriend, and my 12yo daughter...we did very well, got the heart rate up but didnt cause an anxiety This evening I went driving around with my 15yo. We went to a close store when I noticed she had pierced her nose, which I have been refusing to let her do for several months. My anxiety started to rise because I was mad. I was able to talk my anger away before my anxiety got high. I then just told her she would have to remove it. She was upset a bit but agreed, she knew how I felt. I thought I would just go home after the small ordeal, but instead I drove around. I ended up going over 2 bridges that cause me anxiety!! Even though I got stopped at the red light s twice, I was able to talk myself through the red light. The uncomfortable feelings quickly left when the light changed and I realized I did it!! I then proceeded to drive a bit farther then my comfort zone. I had not been that far in over 6 weeks. I was a bit anxious but did it!!
So, the last 2 days have been very good!!
negative thoughts:
I have to leave the store because I am feeling foggy, anxious, and dizzy.
Replaced with: it's just anxiety, it will go away. If I leave I will feel bad, but if I do my shopping I will feel great. I can do this. I can feel the symptoms and still function, they will not hurt me.
I cannot sit at this red light. My anxiety is rising. I should do a u-turn and run back home.
Replaced it with: it is only anxiety. I can sit at this red light and wait for it to turn green, I will be fine. I also started talking to my daughter to keep my in the present moment.
I had alot more negative thoughts that I was able to replace today. The difficult ones for me have to due with anger toward my ex. I try to remind myself that it is the past and I am much healthier and happier now without him. The thoughts still do get the best of me and become obsessive, so I am trying to work on that also.
Friday and today went well for me. I think I should give a lil bit of history. Anxiety/depression since 1992. Agorophobic from 2006 - 2008. 2009 I started driving 1-2 miles from home and could go in local small stores. December 2009 I had my live in ex-boyfriend of 7 yrs arrested for domestic violence. He is an alcoholic and I was blamed for everything and lied to almost on a daily basis. It was a very degrading relationship and left me with no self-esteem. I met a domestic counselor who continues to work with me for my anxiety/depression. Since he was arrested I have gone through alot of anxiety and basically went back to my agoraphobia. My counselor was starting to get me back out of the house and things were going very good. Then, about 6 weeks ago I had 2 major panic attacks in 1 week. Scared me so bad I didnt leave the house again for about 3 weeks. So now I am about 3 weeks back to leaving the house. I drive maybe a mile and can go to a couple store, but doing both cause me anxiety. I re-started the program back about 5 weeks ago.
So, Friday was good. I wanted to go to a certain store, but I have to cross a major intersection that causes me high anxiety. The store also is difficult for me cuz it is a place where I have paicked before. So I talked myself through it and made it to the store. Inside I was very anxious and felt like I was in a fog. I was able to control my breathing and concentrate enough to get what I needed. Although I hurried through the store, I did make it to the check-out. At the register I realized my laundry detergent was on sale and had a coupon (I am a coupon freak lol)...so I thought for about 30 seconds, as the detergent is way in the back along the wall. I decided I could do it and went back n bought another one. By then I was so happy with myself my anxiety had decreased alot
When I left I actually stopped at another stoe In the afternoon I purposely went driving around at about 3pm because I knew the traffic was increasing. (I do not like traffic because I feel trapped. I usually do my driving late in the evening.) I was able to drive around and actually sit at a few lights.
Today was good also. I got some things done around the house. The whole summer I have been a procrasinater, using the heat as an excuse to not get things done. My son and grandson stopped over this afternoon and I did some yard work with my grandson helping out
He makes me so happy He just turned 3 in June. I cut the grass and he used his bubble mower. Also, we went in the garden and picked some tomatoes. He loves to pick them After dinner, I went outside and played dodge ball with my 15yo daughter, her boyfriend, and my 12yo daughter...we did very well, got the heart rate up but didnt cause an anxiety This evening I went driving around with my 15yo. We went to a close store when I noticed she had pierced her nose, which I have been refusing to let her do for several months. My anxiety started to rise because I was mad. I was able to talk my anger away before my anxiety got high. I then just told her she would have to remove it. She was upset a bit but agreed, she knew how I felt. I thought I would just go home after the small ordeal, but instead I drove around. I ended up going over 2 bridges that cause me anxiety!! Even though I got stopped at the red light s twice, I was able to talk myself through the red light. The uncomfortable feelings quickly left when the light changed and I realized I did it!! I then proceeded to drive a bit farther then my comfort zone. I had not been that far in over 6 weeks. I was a bit anxious but did it!!So, the last 2 days have been very good!!
negative thoughts:
I have to leave the store because I am feeling foggy, anxious, and dizzy.
Replaced with: it's just anxiety, it will go away. If I leave I will feel bad, but if I do my shopping I will feel great. I can do this. I can feel the symptoms and still function, they will not hurt me.
I cannot sit at this red light. My anxiety is rising. I should do a u-turn and run back home.
Replaced it with: it is only anxiety. I can sit at this red light and wait for it to turn green, I will be fine. I also started talking to my daughter to keep my in the present moment.
I had alot more negative thoughts that I was able to replace today. The difficult ones for me have to due with anger toward my ex. I try to remind myself that it is the past and I am much healthier and happier now without him. The thoughts still do get the best of me and become obsessive, so I am trying to work on that also.
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Guest
THH (Re. Post Sept. 16, 6:05 PM) -
There's nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself. In fact, I think that during our recovery, we often forget to do that sort of thing. When was the last time you set aside time for you to do the things you enjoy? We have to remember that even while we're recovering, we're still living life and part of life is enjoying it. It may be as simple as a warm cup of tea or a few chapter in a favorite book.
Those are all good points from Session 3. This lesson is so important in showing us just how powerful our thoughts are in shaping our mood, our behaviors, our perceptions, and even our personalities. One of the things I like best is that thoughts are something that we can change. It won't be easy but the fact that it's possible means there's hope.
Jamie
There's nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself. In fact, I think that during our recovery, we often forget to do that sort of thing. When was the last time you set aside time for you to do the things you enjoy? We have to remember that even while we're recovering, we're still living life and part of life is enjoying it. It may be as simple as a warm cup of tea or a few chapter in a favorite book.
Those are all good points from Session 3. This lesson is so important in showing us just how powerful our thoughts are in shaping our mood, our behaviors, our perceptions, and even our personalities. One of the things I like best is that thoughts are something that we can change. It won't be easy but the fact that it's possible means there's hope.
Jamie
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Mike (Re. Post Sept. 16, 6:34 PM) -
I'm sorry that you're having trouble getting through this rough patch with your anxiety. Keep in mind that the six-step approach is designed to help cope with anxiety, not to eliminate it. It's probably not reasonable to think that we'll get to a point where we'll never have any anxiety. The best we can do is minimize and manage it.
In direct answer to your question, in some cases it's step 6 that solves the problem: let time pass. In terms of actual panic, the amount of time is usually relatively short, typically a matter of minutes. But for generalized anxiety, the time period can be much longer. No one can give you an exact figure since it varies from person to person and from situation to situation. But the fact is that it always eventually passes. The good news is that the worst parts last the shortest amount of time. For whatever may linger around a bit longer, you have many other tools to to work with in addressing your anxiety. Check out your toolbox; there may be something at the bottom that you just haven't gotten out yet!
Jamie
I'm sorry that you're having trouble getting through this rough patch with your anxiety. Keep in mind that the six-step approach is designed to help cope with anxiety, not to eliminate it. It's probably not reasonable to think that we'll get to a point where we'll never have any anxiety. The best we can do is minimize and manage it.
In direct answer to your question, in some cases it's step 6 that solves the problem: let time pass. In terms of actual panic, the amount of time is usually relatively short, typically a matter of minutes. But for generalized anxiety, the time period can be much longer. No one can give you an exact figure since it varies from person to person and from situation to situation. But the fact is that it always eventually passes. The good news is that the worst parts last the shortest amount of time. For whatever may linger around a bit longer, you have many other tools to to work with in addressing your anxiety. Check out your toolbox; there may be something at the bottom that you just haven't gotten out yet!
Jamie
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Guest
Hope (Re. Post Sept. 17, 7:58 AM) -
Congratulations on having a wonderful day! I certainly won't criticize you for not posting because you were out enjoying life. Isn't that where we're all trying to get to anyways?
It can be scary to think about staying alone. But remember, the only person that can really stop a panic attack is you. No one else can do it for you. So, the best person in the world will be with you when your husband and son are away. If you're spiritual, know that God is with you too. You're never completely alone.
It may ease your mind to make a few contingency plans. You could make arrangements to have someone you could call if you need to talk. Get some activities ready to keep you busy and distracted. Write out some positive thoughts ahead of time that you can look at if you start to get nervous. Don't plan on being anxious, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared if a time comes when you do need to cope with some anxiety. Lastly, know that no matter what happens you will be okay. There is nothing that can hurt you and the worst thing that can happen is discomfort.
As for the print shop, try to tackle one thing at a time. Presumably going to the print shop and staying home alone will not happen at the same time. Therefore, take care of one and then address the other. When we let things pile on top of each other it's easy to get overwhelmed. But if we deal with each problem individually, it makes them much easier to deal with. Fight each soldier one at a time, not the entire army at once.
Jamie
Congratulations on having a wonderful day! I certainly won't criticize you for not posting because you were out enjoying life. Isn't that where we're all trying to get to anyways?
It can be scary to think about staying alone. But remember, the only person that can really stop a panic attack is you. No one else can do it for you. So, the best person in the world will be with you when your husband and son are away. If you're spiritual, know that God is with you too. You're never completely alone.
It may ease your mind to make a few contingency plans. You could make arrangements to have someone you could call if you need to talk. Get some activities ready to keep you busy and distracted. Write out some positive thoughts ahead of time that you can look at if you start to get nervous. Don't plan on being anxious, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared if a time comes when you do need to cope with some anxiety. Lastly, know that no matter what happens you will be okay. There is nothing that can hurt you and the worst thing that can happen is discomfort.
As for the print shop, try to tackle one thing at a time. Presumably going to the print shop and staying home alone will not happen at the same time. Therefore, take care of one and then address the other. When we let things pile on top of each other it's easy to get overwhelmed. But if we deal with each problem individually, it makes them much easier to deal with. Fight each soldier one at a time, not the entire army at once.
Jamie
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Guest
I am on the road to recovery and will recover. Each day I am 1 step closer to my recovery. I will continue to work hard because I refuse to let anxiety, fear, and depression control my life. I am changing and change is good!
Mike
Loved the pictures you posted!! Funny thing is just looking at the happy ones makes me happy The other ones didnt make me upset, but instead they re-inforced how bad I can make myself sometimes feel...and I definitely dont want to feel like that anymore I think sometimes I dont realize just how bad I can make myself feel...thanks for shaing
Im wondering Mike if your just in a bit of a depressed state. That's alot of how I feel when I get down. I know we like to over-analyze everything and it seems to me that might be what you are doing. You seem to worry alot about your sleeping and that in it's self can cause some sleep difficulties. You are also very hard on yourself with expectaions...try not to expect yourself to do stuff, then when you do them, it will be reason to celebrate......not sure if that makes much sense, sometimes its so hard to put stuff into words..... hope you had a nice evening
Mike
Loved the pictures you posted!! Funny thing is just looking at the happy ones makes me happy
The other ones didnt make me upset, but instead they re-inforced how bad I can make myself sometimes feel...and I definitely dont want to feel like that anymore I think sometimes I dont realize just how bad I can make myself feel...thanks for shaing Im wondering Mike if your just in a bit of a depressed state. That's alot of how I feel when I get down. I know we like to over-analyze everything and it seems to me that might be what you are doing. You seem to worry alot about your sleeping and that in it's self can cause some sleep difficulties. You are also very hard on yourself with expectaions...try not to expect yourself to do stuff, then when you do them, it will be reason to celebrate......not sure if that makes much sense, sometimes its so hard to put stuff into words..... hope you had a nice evening
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Mike (Re. Post Sept. 17, 10:34 AM) -
Sorry - scratch the first part of this post. I just figured out what a DuoTang was, LOL.
<STRIKE> I was thinking about your exercise journal. Have you ever considered using a binder with loose leaf paper instead of a spiral notebook? That way, you could take your time transferring information since you don't have to worry about not leaving enough space at the beginning for transferring you older information. That would reduce the pressure of feeling like you had to do everything right away before adding new information. You could also then pace yourself by just transferring half of a page or a single page at a time. </STRIKE>
Mike, can you pin down what it is about the fear of exhaustion really scares you? Can you break this fear down in to more precise parts? If so, then you might be able to look at each part and measure how realistic the fear is. For example, if part of the fear is that you think you' won't be able to ever get anything done again, you know that isn't true because you've been able to accomplish lots of things in the past when you were tired. There's no reason to think the future will be different. Perhaps by refuting the parts that make up the total fear, you can diffuse the entire thing.
Jamie
Sorry - scratch the first part of this post. I just figured out what a DuoTang was, LOL.
<STRIKE> I was thinking about your exercise journal. Have you ever considered using a binder with loose leaf paper instead of a spiral notebook? That way, you could take your time transferring information since you don't have to worry about not leaving enough space at the beginning for transferring you older information. That would reduce the pressure of feeling like you had to do everything right away before adding new information. You could also then pace yourself by just transferring half of a page or a single page at a time. </STRIKE>
Mike, can you pin down what it is about the fear of exhaustion really scares you? Can you break this fear down in to more precise parts? If so, then you might be able to look at each part and measure how realistic the fear is. For example, if part of the fear is that you think you' won't be able to ever get anything done again, you know that isn't true because you've been able to accomplish lots of things in the past when you were tired. There's no reason to think the future will be different. Perhaps by refuting the parts that make up the total fear, you can diffuse the entire thing.
Jamie
Last edited by SeaRunner on Sun Sep 19, 2010 1:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Guest
I am on the road to recovery and will recover. Each day I am 1 step closer to being recovered. I will continue to work hard because I refuse to let anxiety, fear, and depression control my life. I am changing and change is good!
Lindalee
I have also been trying to use the "let it begin with me" approach at home. I have been taking the time to actually listen when my kids talk, just stop what Im doing and listen. I try to compliment them and be supportive when they feel overwhelmed or a bit down on themselves. I also am trying instead of yelling at them to take a minute, think about it, then explain why I am upset or why something that they did is bothering me.....I know I jumped a bit ahead to another session, but I believe these examples are all ways to show respect...and maybe if my kids see that I respect them they will respect others. My kids are actually really good kids, but I think they have picked up some of my bad habits such as being moody, easily irritated, not really listening to what's being said, and just being abrupt.
Hopefully it will help...but I know that it definitely has already lessened some of my anger and anxiety.
Good Luck
Lindalee
I have also been trying to use the "let it begin with me" approach at home. I have been taking the time to actually listen when my kids talk, just stop what Im doing and listen. I try to compliment them and be supportive when they feel overwhelmed or a bit down on themselves. I also am trying instead of yelling at them to take a minute, think about it, then explain why I am upset or why something that they did is bothering me.....I know I jumped a bit ahead to another session, but I believe these examples are all ways to show respect...and maybe if my kids see that I respect them they will respect others. My kids are actually really good kids, but I think they have picked up some of my bad habits such as being moody, easily irritated, not really listening to what's being said, and just being abrupt.
Hopefully it will help...but I know that it definitely has already lessened some of my anger and anxiety.
Good Luck
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Guest
I am on the road to recovery, and will recover. Each day I am 1 step closer to my recovery. I will continue to work hard because I refuse to let anxiety, fear, and depression control my life. I am changing and change is good!
THH
thanks for the welcome
you are funny so Im sure we will have a great time here
hope you had a great day!!!
THH
thanks for the welcome
you are funny so Im sure we will have a great time here
hope you had a great day!!!