Acceptance (Interactive)....Very Important...Please read

Mary Wargo · Post by **Mary Wargo** » Tue Nov 11, 2008 4:30 am

McGrace brought up a good point here about going beyond compassionate self talk to laziness. I could see where this could happen and have often questioned this in myself. Am I avoiding something and making excuses or am I being compassionate with myself and my limitations? Is it possible to be too compassionate with ourselves, and do we need to give ourselves some tough love sometimes?

Lima · Post by **Lima** » Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:39 pm

your inputs are very practical and terrific guides. Thank you.

Originally posted by NinjaFrodo:
Mary
Yes these insights are coming up like fire from an oil-can. I'm glad i've gone through the program a few times as well...it took me 4 years to realize about Acceptance. Like you, I'm seeing more progress in myself this time around.

CindyRu
There really is alot of information and some things resonate in our hearts the first time around and then diffrent things the next time and so on...this is what i found...And as for the impatient thing...Its only normal to feel this way...you've had anxiety and depression for awhile i'm assuming as people rarely pick up the program after their first anxiety attack...and anxiety and depression has stayed waaaaay beyond its welcomed time and you want it to go away. As long as you continue to make effort, you will get closer and closer to being who you want to be and leaving the fear of anxiety far behind you.

Daniece
Yes I was kind of like this myself...I would journal somewhat here and there and i would write down a few things but it didn't help so much because i didn't do it on a consistent basis. It really really really is important if you want to get over anxiety. I don't blame you that you aren't as keen on doing those things because it is enough effort to even have this issue and it drains us and leaves us with less effort in us...but i promise you that if you can stick with the assignments...you'll be able to handle the problem easier...Now you don't have to write down all of your negative thoughts...that would be sooooo overwhelming...I mean to write down like 300 (the average according to lesson 3 cd). Instead take 5 of the most trouble some ones and work through those on paper...typically when it comes down to it...we are being negative about the same few things with our thoughts but we are being really creative and with these thoughts and it seems like they're diffrent.

Journaling is very very important as this is what shows you your progress...don't you want to read how you've been changing throughout the program? How about when you reach that turning point or when you conquered that limitation and how it made you feel?

However i would not expect to be 100% or even 70% better after redoing lesson 3 again...it takes time and effort but thats ok...you would benefit alot from continuing to replace 5 negative thoughts on paper a day and journalling...For myself, I'm actually finding that i'm starting to replace other people's negativity all automatically and accepting myself mroe automatically and why i have limitations....the thought replacement dare i say, is actually "fun". Why...because I get excited to know that i'll be taking myself from feeling crappy to feeling better and knowing that this is a big accomplishment. There are even some days where i decide that i'm going to go out to some grassy hill area and replace as many negative thoughts I can...Soooo helpful.

Neways I'm sure you will do great no matter what and I'm always here if you need me.

Mike

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:53 am

Erin B

It definately isn't uncommon to go through the program more than once. I've done it a few times and each time i'm able to accept more of myself and change more. Definately nothing to be ashamed of.

You know you have what it takes to get through the situation you are dealing with right now because you've done it in the past. Besides accepting I feel there are 2 other things that would benefit you.

#1 is taking it to the worst case senario and I mean looking at your whole world. Write about it but include everybody that cares about you in this story. You have people around you that care about you and will help you out, right?

#2 is humor. Your tongue is swelling, Maybe it'll grow 30 feet long and you can rent it out as a slip and slide. That'd be a good way to start making some more extra money

You'd also be amazing with sealing envelopes. The twinge in your leg is just your leg's mind wanting to go out dancing. It's trying to do the twist and shout! When was the last time you satisfied your leg's wishes?

Mike

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 6:03 am

Mary Wargo
That is a good point. Sounds like you'd really get the lesson on Secondary gains pretty well. In the beginning for many of us, it started out as we were making excuses in order to avoid pain and that is completely reasonable. Our anxiety feelings are scary and the more we link our scary feelings to situations, the more we have to avoid to protect ourselves.

Eventually, we become really exhausted all the time and doing anything outside of our "normal everyday routine" is going to be too stressful and make us think even more negative.

The problem is that when we start to get better we still have those habits of making excuses. We know we can get through these things but we have learned that anxiety has been a good excuse to get out of many things and we don't feel as bad about ourselves for it because we've accepted that we have this problem. We get addicted to doing pleasurable things and thats understandable to. The only problem is if we do not break this cycle, we stay stuck with our anxieties because everytime you put off doing things you need to do, you are taking a hit out of your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Mike

Mary Wargo · Post by **Mary Wargo** » Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:46 am

I studied session 12 for a long time and came to a lot of conclusions over what my secondary gains were and the price I was paying for these payoffs. I also caught myself several times still making excuses - even though I knew perfectly well what my secondary gains were! I had to start getting tough with myself and saying "No excuses- you know you can do this. Just do it!" lol

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:13 am

Mary

I'm still making up excuses

but i'm finding it alot easier to get things done with this tic mark exercise. I believe i'm feeling this way because I know i'll feel better for making another accomplishment. It's challenging to change a habit so don't beat yourself up, just brainstorm ways in which you can motivate yourself

Mike

Mary Wargo · Post by **Mary Wargo** » Fri Nov 14, 2008 11:17 am

I think I will be trying the tic mark exercise.

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Nov 14, 2008 12:07 pm

Awesome, you could also keep a journal (physical or virtual one) to keep track of your growth. Keep in mind you can add things to the tic mark exercise as you're going along. I'm starting to feel that doing a few negative thought replacements on paper will be more benefical. Let us know about your experience with this

Mike

Mary Wargo · Post by **Mary Wargo** » Fri Nov 14, 2008 2:24 pm

I've been journaling for months now and have gone thru at least 3 journals, so I think I'll start a separate one for this. I may need to start categorizing the journals into different subjects at this point!

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Nov 14, 2008 3:05 pm

Mary

I know how you feel...I got maybe 20 of them. The good thing with this one is you can get a small notepad (smaller than the typical spiral notepads) and use that for the tic marks. Very easy to carry around

Mike