The Challenge...Lesson 3

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:50 am

Karen,
at the time I feel that dizziness, you have that fork they talk about. Go to whats wrong with me and increase the fear and anxiety OR to choose to (6 steps) recognize that it is anxiety and float with it. the more we wonder about it and fear it, the worse it is and longer it says. I have used it often enough now that I can see it will work. You are not going to go back to where you used to be. Have you been through this program yet or is this your first time?
If you been through before, get your tool box out, I would try to keep going working through your dizziness.
I told myself "if your going to faint, faint" When you come to just get up and Finnish what I was doing! LOL... I NEVER FAINTED! It actually made me laugh and it broke up the hole focus! Hope this helps

Its just a practice opportunity!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 10:08 am

I will recover, I am recovering, each and everyday I feel stronger. I have everything I need inside of me in order to recover and face any problem or limitations I will ever encounter. Each day I become stronger with my skills and I can access more and more of my inner resources.

Mondays are usually a slow day. Today I took the time to reactivate my account on Monster.com, and I actually applied for 1 job. I still feel anxious about it, but it was a nice position with a company that I have volunteered for. So, lets wait and see.

I have been thinking about how I have been feeling, and I am happy to report that I am doing much better. I don't want to get to excited about it, because I know I have long ways to go. However I am trying to enjoy the days without anxiety.

From time to time I get a little dizzy or my stomach starts complaining, but I try to not pay to much attention to it and keep doing what I'm doing. The mayor challenge for me now will be to get out of the house more often, go to the store, go to the print shop, just get out.

Another thing I need to do is clean the house, I have a bunch of stuff out of place and it makes me feel overwhelmed, so much that I completely block myself and I don't do nothing. I got a book about procrastination, which now is under a bunch of papers. It is funny and not, I guess it is part of the anxiety and depression cycle.

One thing at a time.... right?
Talk to you soon.
Hope

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 12:14 pm

I am on the road to recovery and will recover,. Each day I am I step closer to my recovery. I wil continue to work hard because I refuse to let anxiety, fear, and depression control my life. I a changing and change is good.

Was able to get myself up to the corner store this afternoon.....also spent some time outside cutting grass and yardwork....slight dizziness on and off...anxiety not too bad, maybe a 3....headache though and a bit tired or depressed..only slept 6 hrs last night.

Mkie

been eating way to much sugar lately and not enough fruits and veggies...had to add some metamucil to the diet lol

THH

this dizziness is bad.....not just a quick off balance.....more like probably 10-15 seconds of spinning....feeling like I will fall down...I actually have to grab something and close my eyes....the other dizziness I can talk myself down from but this really scares me....

I had started the program a few times before but never really made it past maybe lesson 6, or I started skipping around and didnt really do the homework...so this is the first time Im actually doing it the correct way.....other times I would feel better and could function and would stop the program..

this really isnt a a fear of fainting.....it's hard to describe....

Hope

It's funny you talk about procrastination .....it seems like I got more done around the house when I was working full-time....you are right about the one thing at a time.....but too often it seems like Im not even doing anything lol

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 2:39 pm

Hi Karen,
About your dizziness... it could be the sugar... if you are eating too much sugar, a drop in your blood suggar can cause dizziness. Another posibility is an ear infection. Just keep an eye on both things, just in case.

I know the feeling of not doing anything. Sometimes I just try to pick up a few things, so I don't feel so guilty.

I have some friends coming to visit next Monday, so I have almost a week to get my house in nice order.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 2:53 pm

Karen,
I'm so sorry to hear your having a bad day. we all will have that from time to time get some good sleep and believe tommorow will be a better day.

I too have gotten really dizzy where I have grabbed the wall to stand. I sometimes think hormones play into this as well. I'm 52 and still feel those naging dips in my hormone levels. It makes it hard sometimes to tell the difference between hormone and anxiety.
If something is really different I would always check with my Dr. as ear/sinus problem can have a effect on your balance as well.
I never rule out hormones either esp. if your in my age bracket. Hope tommorow is better!

This time when you go through you will really learn so much more. Stick with it, at times it seams easier, then it seams harder again. It really will teach you life skills that will help you forever. It takes time we have been reacting to things this way for a long time. It will take time to make changes that come second nature to us. I can tell in myself that it will happen. I had to ask myself so many times during my first run through " How bad do you want this" That motivated me. Your involved with this site and I really think it helps alot as well. hang in there! We are here for you!

I had a most crazy day! Must be a full moon or something??? I had the whole day booked. 8:30 our phone rang with our customer where we were going to be all day, they were all terrible sick! They had a boat load of work for us and I had to change days with someone else so to not let the work load build up. Lots of phone work rescheduling bah bah bah... Managed to make a day out of things but several other calls as well. It was like dodge ball things were flying everywhere. UPS, guy to clean chimney, dealing with animals, humans, Calgon take me away!

I did very well, no panic attack. I didn't like the pace at all. One thing I thought about was 10 minutes of turbulance. I kept thinking its ruff today lots of bumps, crazyness, twist and turns. Try to enjoy the ride!!!And I know it will calm down to smooth sailing again. Its just a bumpy ride right now. Its not going to hurt me, I can handle this. Well its almost bed time, and this day stayed the way it started. I will get a well deserved sleep tonight! I did good, I am happy with how I handled things.

(thats a self praise, I am not very good at doing that, but there I did it! LOL...)

mcshope,
I do the same thing. Do a quick pick up. Remember it is Okay to have days where nothing gets done. Have some tea! LOL...
I hope everyone had a good day with good practice experances. Don't forget to praise your self for all the good things you did today.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 4:30 pm

I am on the road to recovery and will recover. I will continue to use the program daily to recover because I refuse to let anxiety, fear, anger, and depression control my life. I am changing and change is good!!

Hope

thanks for the feedback and taking the time to respond.....I just got so caught up in it......it is just so good to have it re-inforced that it's not just me.....I am going to have to stop the sugar, its actually a comfort food, as well as what I run to when I am upset...

THH

Thanks also for the feedback and re-inforcement....I didnt even think about hormones, which could very well be a reason...have a houseful of constant pms here, that's all I need is pre-menapause lol.....

sounds like you responded very well to your hectic day!!! excellent self-talk...enjoy the feelings of great accomplishment

I feel so much better thanks to you and Hope

ended up driving this evening for about 30 minutes....stayed pretty much in my comfort zone...had some increased anxiety but I dealt with it, do my breathing and singing lol..had some positive self talk also.....

have to head to bed.....I can definitely say my terrible morning did not affect the rest of my day as it turned out pretty good and Im feeling positive

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:19 pm

I will recover, I am recovering, each and everyday I feel stronger. I have everything I need inside of me in order to recover and face any problem or limitations I will ever encounter. Each day I become stronger with my skills and I can access more and more of my inner resources

Monday;

Comment
I consumed that really gross water with seasalt and it did help to flush some of my system out but not completely. After doing that I felt more positive and had more energy but I am still dealing with the exhaustion. I actually read THH's post to Karen and how she had said then when she gets dizzy she will say to herself "If I'm going to faint then faint" When I come to, then get right back to what i'm doing. I found that pretty funny and decided to use that with my exhaustion. I decided to go to hip-hop despite how I might "faint" or get too exhausted. On the walk there I just kept flipping between feeling exhausted and feeling alright and I kept saying if I faint then I'll faint. It got me there and I did the hip-hop and felt pretty energetic for the whole thing, I had lots of fun and forgot about the exhaustion until i started to walk back home.

I had alot of doom feelings when it came to the exhaustion. Not only do I have to deal with the exhausted feelings I was adding that extra stress to it with the way I was thinking. It was not cool but thinking about what THH said and also when I did some mindfulness meditation awhile ago, in the group we were taught to just accept and bring our awareness back to the present moment. So I accepted my exhaustion and the reality of it. I accepted that I have to live with this at this moment and also thought about what Lucinda said about being ok no matter how tired or weak I am. I did pretty good. I also used the blue stone and reminded myself to slow down and that helped.

Important thing I'm realizing. The body can work in amazing ways and can do many things in response to our belief systems. I believe that when I tell myself something like how i can't do something or it will become too overwhelming, my body makes me exhausted so I don't even have to try. It could even lead to a secondary gain.

Negative thoughts;

1)This exhaustion is going to last forever, I'll never recover
->It may feel that way but the exhaustion fluctuates and I know what I need to do. I've already taken steps and am feeling the positive effects even if they are small. I'm going to take steps to get better and take measures to prevent it from happening again in the future.

2)I should've kept up with the things I need to do to recover
->It was really hard for me to do anything so of course I didn't do the self-help things and thats fine. I may have times where I need a break and thats ok. I can get back on after and return to working on my goals.

3)I couldn't completely flush out my system. This is impossible
->I wasn't able to flush out my system completely but I did partially and this will help when I go to flush out my system tomorrow and I already feel more energetic from the partial flush. I can still get through the day.

4)I can't go and do hip-hop, what-if I get too exhausted?
->I can go and try to do hip-hop. If I get tired then I can stop and rest, its no big deal.

5)I should be better at the negative thought replacement like everybody else.
->I am really good at it but it ins't fair to compare myself to others as we all have diffrent strengths and weaknesses. I'm still growing with these skills and I'll continue to grow.

Affirmation scripts;
Back to listening to these on a daily basis. It feels good especially not expecting myself to be perfect with every affirmation. I had told myself that these affirmations were going to fix my problem with the anxiety and depression. They were going to be exactly what I needed to do this and it was going to be amazing. Its funny because in the past I've done that with many things similar to how Lucinda had said about when she went on vacation in the past and how it was going to be the most amazing trip ever and would be the solution to all her problems. I'm realizing how irrational that expectation is. The affirmations are helpful and will help me reach my goal but them alone I don't think are going to "fix" me...whatever that means. Good day to realize this too because we will be going into expectations starting tomorrow!

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:46 pm

I will recover, I am recovering, each and everyday I feel stronger. I have everything I need inside of me in order to recover and face any problem or limitations I will ever encounter. Each day I become stronger with my skills and I can access more and more of my inner resources

THH

I told myself "if your going to faint, faint" When you come to just get up and Finnish what I was doing! LOL... I NEVER FAINTED! It actually made me laugh and it broke up the hole focus! Hope this helps Wink
Its just a practice opportunity!

this is what you said to Karen and I haven't really been checking out the posts to other people but it caught my eye and I read it. (Yes I dropped some eaves here) and I'm glad I did. One of the big fears i have with the exhaustion is the fainting part. So after i read this I started to say the same thing. "If i'm going to faint, faint" and then when I wake up, get back into doing what I was planning to do. It is pretty funny and it definately helped today while walking to the gym and doing the hip-hop. It made it easier to accept having the exhaustion and not be so scared about it and not spend time obsessing that I was dying or some other doom like thought.

In response to mcshope's post

Your allowed to get excited even if you have a long way to go. Getting excited can actually help as well, just like laughter does. You made some great progress so get excited! Don't expect yourself to get to a certain level before you can allow yourself to get excited. Nothing bad will happen by doing so.

I can relate to getting overwhelmed when things are not tidy or many things are lying around. It can be pretty demotivating eh? Ha so are you procrastinating about reading a book on procrastination? Thats kinda funny

As for cleaning the house, it would definately be very beneficial to clean your place as it does make you feel very overwhelmed, you would feel much more calm and appreciative of your place and your efforts if you did so and that is a great goal to have. However what isn't beneficial is telling yourself you need to do it. I'm sure you're noticing right now how much resistance you have towards the activity. This is similar to shoulding on yourself. Its beating yourself with the stick instead of using the carrot. Focus on the benefits, not the labour.

Karen L

You are definately facing this limitation very well. It sounds like you've been facing it on a daily basis since that talk on that other thread in the anger section. Awesome! Getting over the agoraphobia means alot to you eh? I can see with all the great effort you're putting towards it! Also i'm impressed that you only had a 3 with the anxiety despite the poor sleep. Hopefully the metamucil will help to correct the dizziness.

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 21, 2010 12:50 am

I am on the road to recovery and I will recover. I will continue to use the program daily to recover because I refuse to let anxiety, fear, anger, and depression control my life. I am changing and change is good!

Mike

you have some excellent positive replacements.....keep up the great work!!

these agoraphobia has been my life for 4 years now and I I dont want it to be anymore......thanks for the feedback

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 21, 2010 3:26 pm

I will recover, I am recovering, each and everyday I feel stronger. I have everything I need inside of me in order to recover and face any problem or limitations I will ever encounter. Each day I become stronger with my skills and I can access more and more of my inner resources.

Today was a good day, I went to the bank and to the pharmacy, I also went to the store to buy a b-day present for my son. I felt a little anxious going into the store, but I kept thinking, it is only anxiety, I am ok. I was able to complete my shopping without problem.

Tomorrow will be a house day. I will go to the bank again in the morning and after that I will tackle the clutter on the dinning room table.

It is thundering and raining outside and one of my dogs gets all panicky. She reminds me of myself... giggle.

The thunder drives her nuts, and she can't stay still. There was a time when we both were shacking. Maybe I am going to need to find some doggy xanax. LOL.

I am doing better, I feel good... Ready to start lesson 4. See you all there.