Day 3
I've learned that getting to sleep at 3am or just plane late in the night make me less motivated the next day and also moody, regardless of how many hours of sleep I get. I still felt good about myself but it was like the negative thoughts were a little more challenging to handle. I believe this is partly to do with the sleep factor but also to do with how I didn't get the more important things accomplished today like applying for a job or starting to incorporate the program's relaxation cd. There were a few things I absolutely had to replace on paper.
On a positive note, I felt more passionate about working on the accomplishments that I did make today. Music was more enjoyable, conversations were alot better, I was more creative, witty and I honestly feel that my bowel movements have gotten better.
It seems like I get more down during the evening and yestaurday wasn't too bad but today is a little more than yestaurday but again, I feel that is sleep related. I also think that is why i am craving sweets this evening. I'm definately hoping for a brighter tomorrow.
Accomplishments;
-79 Tic Marks
-Holosync meditation
-Posted on the forums a few times (i really should keep count)
-Learned from getting to bed late
-Wrote out the goals I'd like to achieve (Personal, Financial, Shiatsu, Fun & Other)
-Made a list of things that would make me feel better if i accomplished them
-Downloaded songs for a new cd
-Made a new cd
-Unpacked
-Practiced shiatsu technique
-Stretched
-Felt good for doing some of a goal instead of obsessing over finishing it (huge accomplishment)
-Replaced 5 negative thoughts on paper
-Used Rhodiola
-Sang Outloud
-Faced Social limitation
-Bought lemons
-Did shiatsu to my roomate
-Put accomplishments in jar
-Journaled
Accomplishments;102
Goals worked towards;26
Mike
NinjaFrodo's Tic Mark Journal
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Guest
Day 4
I got to bed late again. I just couldn't get to sleep early. I also kept waking up having to pee. I really don't feel motivated at all and the negativity was very strong. My ego kept coming up alot & was difficult to face. So I figured I should focus my goals around more meditation & fun things and this seemed to help out alot.
I felt that the tic marking was good but, I should add something to it. I felt the best thing was to figure out where that negative thinking cycle originated from & accept that I thought it. It really seems like I'm going tin the direction of incorporating the 6 steps to dealing with anxiety & panic attacks. It feels great even to add the element of accepting. It allows me to feel more comfortable with my limitations & I don't feel like a crazy person or a freak.
I felt really good about doing the meditations & working towards my singing goals. I also enjoyed my smile picture collection.
Today was the 1st day of tic marking at work and it was really intresting. I moved faster, thought quicker, remembered things better and was alot more into doing my job. When I first got to work, one person said I look like I have more energy & another person asked why I'm so happy. I let a few of my co-workers know what I was doing and they thought it was cool. I noticed that I was slowing down, feeling less motivated, more moody, more negative and this kept increasing the more hungry I got. After getting food into me on my brea, I went back to doing things better again.
My anxiety is still low and I may still think negative but, I do not stay in the negative cycle very long. My most frequent negative thoughts are; I'm never going to overcome my limitations, I'm just being fake, I'm not going to find a job, I'm not going to have what it takes to maintain the good things I get out of this exercise or out of being optimistic.
I've decided to myself that I'm just going to have to be fake for now and eventually i'll become a real boy like pinoccio.
Accomplishments;
-79 Tic Markings
-Journalled
-1 negative thought replacement
-practiced shiatsu technique
-Wrote down accomplishments
-Learned from getting to bed late...again
-Looked at my smile pictures
-Wayne Dyer meditation
-Love meditation
-Relaxation cd
-Keka
-Dishes
-2 cups lemonade
-7 cups water
-Stretched
-Singing lessons
-Rhodiola
-Posted journal on facebook
-Posted on forums 3 times
-Added acceptance to tic marking
-Accomplishments in jars
Work related
-Stock takeout
-Garbadges
-Stock fridge
-Replacement candles
-Light candles
-Remove ice
-Put chairs up
-Sweep restaurant
-Clean cafe tables
-Vaccum entrance
-Vaccum backroom
-Stock napkins
-Stock dishes
-Remove dirty dishes
-Wash trays
-Take out recycling
Total accomplishments; 124
Goals worked on directly; 12
-Increased Flexibility
-Keeping place clean
-Feeling more confident & empowered
-Keeping track of progress
-Appreciating my accomplishments more
-Feeling more comfortable being myself
-Boosting digestive system
-Becoming Optimistic
-Manage anxiety better
-Increase shiatsu technique
-Increase singing skills
-Helping others out
Goals worked on indirectly; 12
-Living more in the moment
-Becoming a better socializer
-Becoming more comfortable with the idea of dating
-Becoming more assertive
-Complimenting self & others
-Boosting immune system
-Boosting digestive system
-Being less effected by the judgement of others
-Manage anxiety better
-Build better relationships
-Accept love
-Helping others out
Mike
I got to bed late again. I just couldn't get to sleep early. I also kept waking up having to pee. I really don't feel motivated at all and the negativity was very strong. My ego kept coming up alot & was difficult to face. So I figured I should focus my goals around more meditation & fun things and this seemed to help out alot.
I felt that the tic marking was good but, I should add something to it. I felt the best thing was to figure out where that negative thinking cycle originated from & accept that I thought it. It really seems like I'm going tin the direction of incorporating the 6 steps to dealing with anxiety & panic attacks. It feels great even to add the element of accepting. It allows me to feel more comfortable with my limitations & I don't feel like a crazy person or a freak.
I felt really good about doing the meditations & working towards my singing goals. I also enjoyed my smile picture collection.
Today was the 1st day of tic marking at work and it was really intresting. I moved faster, thought quicker, remembered things better and was alot more into doing my job. When I first got to work, one person said I look like I have more energy & another person asked why I'm so happy. I let a few of my co-workers know what I was doing and they thought it was cool. I noticed that I was slowing down, feeling less motivated, more moody, more negative and this kept increasing the more hungry I got. After getting food into me on my brea, I went back to doing things better again.
My anxiety is still low and I may still think negative but, I do not stay in the negative cycle very long. My most frequent negative thoughts are; I'm never going to overcome my limitations, I'm just being fake, I'm not going to find a job, I'm not going to have what it takes to maintain the good things I get out of this exercise or out of being optimistic.
I've decided to myself that I'm just going to have to be fake for now and eventually i'll become a real boy like pinoccio.
Accomplishments;
-79 Tic Markings
-Journalled
-1 negative thought replacement
-practiced shiatsu technique
-Wrote down accomplishments
-Learned from getting to bed late...again
-Looked at my smile pictures
-Wayne Dyer meditation
-Love meditation
-Relaxation cd
-Keka
-Dishes
-2 cups lemonade
-7 cups water
-Stretched
-Singing lessons
-Rhodiola
-Posted journal on facebook
-Posted on forums 3 times
-Added acceptance to tic marking
-Accomplishments in jars
Work related
-Stock takeout
-Garbadges
-Stock fridge
-Replacement candles
-Light candles
-Remove ice
-Put chairs up
-Sweep restaurant
-Clean cafe tables
-Vaccum entrance
-Vaccum backroom
-Stock napkins
-Stock dishes
-Remove dirty dishes
-Wash trays
-Take out recycling
Total accomplishments; 124
Goals worked on directly; 12
-Increased Flexibility
-Keeping place clean
-Feeling more confident & empowered
-Keeping track of progress
-Appreciating my accomplishments more
-Feeling more comfortable being myself
-Boosting digestive system
-Becoming Optimistic
-Manage anxiety better
-Increase shiatsu technique
-Increase singing skills
-Helping others out
Goals worked on indirectly; 12
-Living more in the moment
-Becoming a better socializer
-Becoming more comfortable with the idea of dating
-Becoming more assertive
-Complimenting self & others
-Boosting immune system
-Boosting digestive system
-Being less effected by the judgement of others
-Manage anxiety better
-Build better relationships
-Accept love
-Helping others out
Mike
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Guest
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Guest
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Guest
Day 5
Had no choice but to wake up early because of work and wow did I ever resist it. The negativity is getting stronger & I'm more moody. Again the lack of sleep is the major factor. I did pretty good with recognizing the negative thoughts & acknowledging where they come from, accepting them & stopping them. I found 2 important things that have set me back in life. I push my opinions/suggestions on people & I use food to make me feel happy.
More positive things were realized as well. I was socializing with some co-workers today and I found that I'm much more excited about being social and I feel when I do it, the changes I'm under going are real. This is amazing! I'm actually enjoying people's company more and I'm looking towards setting up some hangout times instead of being couped up in my apt.
I talked with my friend about psychology and forming new habits and linking sounds & actions to these habits to make them stronger and to have more ways to stimulate them more often. So I figured adding those chiming stress balls each time I go over the accomplishments I made at the end of the day would be a great way to do it. Hopefully after these 21 days I can just use the chiming balls on their own and then it'll stimulate the contemplating of the daily accomplishments and then i can do things along with the chiming balls to make more links.
Today I got into my first rut. I got this thought in my head that I may have been short changed with my wages and I coudln't stop the vicious cycle. I realized that this just simulated a deep memory. What I was really angry about was how I was ripped off at a previous job and I felt like I couldn't stand up for myself. I was in this vicious cycle for 2-4 hours and it was really intresting. I felt more tired, when i got home i went straight onto the computer instead of working on accomplishments, I became more negative, I wasn't as motivated and the creativity in my jokes were aweful. In cd on lesson 3 in the program, Lucinda says negative thinking leads to a direct lack of inspiration, chronic lethargy and a few other aweful things and this makes so much sense now. I felt this all from one spiraling vicious cycle. No wonder I was having a hard time functioning. Before-hand I would do this vicious cycle thing at least 5 times in a way but more if i'm at work.
This tic marking & focusing on accomplishments isn't going to be enough. What I need to do is relearn assertiveness or the fear of being walked all over isn't going to vanish & I know in my heart that I'm not going to feel good about myself If I cannot stand up for myself.
Accomplishments;
-45 Tic markings
-Posted journal on facebook
-Wrote daily goal list
-Journalled
-Wayne Dyer Meditation
-Keka
-2 lemonades
-Rhodiola
-Realized 2 setbacks
-Stopped myself from forcing suggestions onto others
-Started to face my ego
-Sang outloud
-Socialized
-Got more smile pictures
-Stretched
Work related;
-Filled ice
-Fed Fish
-Mopped Restaurant
-Cleaned Bathrooms
-Took down chairs
-Clean tables
-Stocked dishes
-Stocked napkins
-Garbadges
-Recycling
-Removed dirty dishes
(76 Accomplishments)--> as long as I do 24 accomplishments a day, it is a productive day
Goals worked on; (17)
-Flexibility
-Doing a good job at work
-Self-esteem
-Present moment living
-Socializing
-Increased energy
-Keeping track of growth
-Appreciation of goals
-Assertiveness
-Increasing digestive function
-Boosting immune system
-Let go of fear of judgement
-Optimism
-Manage anxiety better
-Build better relationships
-Sing better
-Giving back to society
Mike
Had no choice but to wake up early because of work and wow did I ever resist it. The negativity is getting stronger & I'm more moody. Again the lack of sleep is the major factor. I did pretty good with recognizing the negative thoughts & acknowledging where they come from, accepting them & stopping them. I found 2 important things that have set me back in life. I push my opinions/suggestions on people & I use food to make me feel happy.
More positive things were realized as well. I was socializing with some co-workers today and I found that I'm much more excited about being social and I feel when I do it, the changes I'm under going are real. This is amazing! I'm actually enjoying people's company more and I'm looking towards setting up some hangout times instead of being couped up in my apt.
I talked with my friend about psychology and forming new habits and linking sounds & actions to these habits to make them stronger and to have more ways to stimulate them more often. So I figured adding those chiming stress balls each time I go over the accomplishments I made at the end of the day would be a great way to do it. Hopefully after these 21 days I can just use the chiming balls on their own and then it'll stimulate the contemplating of the daily accomplishments and then i can do things along with the chiming balls to make more links.
Today I got into my first rut. I got this thought in my head that I may have been short changed with my wages and I coudln't stop the vicious cycle. I realized that this just simulated a deep memory. What I was really angry about was how I was ripped off at a previous job and I felt like I couldn't stand up for myself. I was in this vicious cycle for 2-4 hours and it was really intresting. I felt more tired, when i got home i went straight onto the computer instead of working on accomplishments, I became more negative, I wasn't as motivated and the creativity in my jokes were aweful. In cd on lesson 3 in the program, Lucinda says negative thinking leads to a direct lack of inspiration, chronic lethargy and a few other aweful things and this makes so much sense now. I felt this all from one spiraling vicious cycle. No wonder I was having a hard time functioning. Before-hand I would do this vicious cycle thing at least 5 times in a way but more if i'm at work.
This tic marking & focusing on accomplishments isn't going to be enough. What I need to do is relearn assertiveness or the fear of being walked all over isn't going to vanish & I know in my heart that I'm not going to feel good about myself If I cannot stand up for myself.
Accomplishments;
-45 Tic markings
-Posted journal on facebook
-Wrote daily goal list
-Journalled
-Wayne Dyer Meditation
-Keka
-2 lemonades
-Rhodiola
-Realized 2 setbacks
-Stopped myself from forcing suggestions onto others
-Started to face my ego
-Sang outloud
-Socialized
-Got more smile pictures
-Stretched
Work related;
-Filled ice
-Fed Fish
-Mopped Restaurant
-Cleaned Bathrooms
-Took down chairs
-Clean tables
-Stocked dishes
-Stocked napkins
-Garbadges
-Recycling
-Removed dirty dishes
(76 Accomplishments)--> as long as I do 24 accomplishments a day, it is a productive day
Goals worked on; (17)
-Flexibility
-Doing a good job at work
-Self-esteem
-Present moment living
-Socializing
-Increased energy
-Keeping track of growth
-Appreciation of goals
-Assertiveness
-Increasing digestive function
-Boosting immune system
-Let go of fear of judgement
-Optimism
-Manage anxiety better
-Build better relationships
-Sing better
-Giving back to society
Mike
Last edited by NinjaFrodo on Mon Nov 17, 2008 4:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Guest
Day 6
As a rebound to not sleeping very well the last couple of days, I ended up sleep for 11 hours last night. It was definately well needed but i believe since it was quite a diffrence (5-6 hours the night before to 11 hours),my body didn't adjust to it very well. All I wanted to do today was sleep and it was were most of my negative thoughts were coming up from. At first it seemed that being positive was easier but it was a more "dulled" positive feeling. It also left me feeling unmotivated as well as mentally and physically slow. I was even craving more food to keep myself from falling asleep at work. I was thinking more complaining type thoughts today as opposed to those I can't do it thoughts which are normally the dominating ones.
Something came up today while chatting with a co-worker. This person had said something that stimulated a memory from my past in which i had supressed the feelings of it. It was a somewhat painful memory in which a friend of mine had pointed out something they didn't like in me and I was feeling bad about myself because of that and at the time i was concerned that i was going to lose them as a friend. Well the memory came up with the exact same feelings as if life was giving me another opportunity to face the situation and the feelings again, see the reality of it, learn from it and let them go. I feel that what had happened yestaurday with that memory that stimulated that anger in me was the same as todays. Perhaps I'm ready to finally face this situations head on.
Another thing i am realizing is that I'm not always going to feel positive and happy. This isn't very realisitic, even if i'm doing the tic marking. There are going to be times (durin tic marking and afterwards) where it maybe a bit tougher to overcome negative thoughts and this is alright. With the tic marking my purpose isn't to force myself into a permahappiness state but to make accomplishments and to begin the habit of working through the negative thoughts instead of allowing them to control my life.
I can't wait until tomorrow.
Accomplishments;
-72 Tic marks
-Posted on forums once
-Posted on facebook
-Edited day 5 journal
-Encouraged my friend
-Stretched
-4 cups Lemonade
-Smile pictures
-4 cups water
-11 hours sleep
-Seasalt Water
-Kekkai
-Wayne Dyer
-1 negative thought replacement
-Lesson 6
-Relaxation cd
-Listened to fun music
-Journalled
-Emailed Classmates
-Cashed cheques
-Rhodiola
-Asked grocery store if they were still hiring despite how they took the sign down
-Socialized
-Made jokes with bank teller
-Got to work early
-Christmas shopped
-Removed dirty dishes
-Cleaned trays
-Stocked dishes
-Stocked napkins
-Garbadges
-Recycling
-Sorted beer bottles
-accepted that i'm not always going to feel positive
-removed ice
-wiped tables
-vaccumed
-swept
Total accomplishments= 115
Worked on 18 goals
Mike
As a rebound to not sleeping very well the last couple of days, I ended up sleep for 11 hours last night. It was definately well needed but i believe since it was quite a diffrence (5-6 hours the night before to 11 hours),my body didn't adjust to it very well. All I wanted to do today was sleep and it was were most of my negative thoughts were coming up from. At first it seemed that being positive was easier but it was a more "dulled" positive feeling. It also left me feeling unmotivated as well as mentally and physically slow. I was even craving more food to keep myself from falling asleep at work. I was thinking more complaining type thoughts today as opposed to those I can't do it thoughts which are normally the dominating ones.
Something came up today while chatting with a co-worker. This person had said something that stimulated a memory from my past in which i had supressed the feelings of it. It was a somewhat painful memory in which a friend of mine had pointed out something they didn't like in me and I was feeling bad about myself because of that and at the time i was concerned that i was going to lose them as a friend. Well the memory came up with the exact same feelings as if life was giving me another opportunity to face the situation and the feelings again, see the reality of it, learn from it and let them go. I feel that what had happened yestaurday with that memory that stimulated that anger in me was the same as todays. Perhaps I'm ready to finally face this situations head on.
Another thing i am realizing is that I'm not always going to feel positive and happy. This isn't very realisitic, even if i'm doing the tic marking. There are going to be times (durin tic marking and afterwards) where it maybe a bit tougher to overcome negative thoughts and this is alright. With the tic marking my purpose isn't to force myself into a permahappiness state but to make accomplishments and to begin the habit of working through the negative thoughts instead of allowing them to control my life.
I can't wait until tomorrow.
Accomplishments;
-72 Tic marks
-Posted on forums once
-Posted on facebook
-Edited day 5 journal
-Encouraged my friend
-Stretched
-4 cups Lemonade
-Smile pictures
-4 cups water
-11 hours sleep
-Seasalt Water
-Kekkai
-Wayne Dyer
-1 negative thought replacement
-Lesson 6
-Relaxation cd
-Listened to fun music
-Journalled
-Emailed Classmates
-Cashed cheques
-Rhodiola
-Asked grocery store if they were still hiring despite how they took the sign down
-Socialized
-Made jokes with bank teller
-Got to work early
-Christmas shopped
-Removed dirty dishes
-Cleaned trays
-Stocked dishes
-Stocked napkins
-Garbadges
-Recycling
-Sorted beer bottles
-accepted that i'm not always going to feel positive
-removed ice
-wiped tables
-vaccumed
-swept
Total accomplishments= 115
Worked on 18 goals
Mike
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Guest
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Guest
Thank you, and yes you can definately get to that point. The way I do it is through pain and pleasure.
If i don't do it and stay where i am, then i always struggle financially, my relationships will not grow, i'll spend most of my time suffering and i'll end up completely alone.
But if i do it then I'm going to feel much better about myself, I'll be able to strengthen relationships, I'll have more energy, I'll be able to make more accomplishments, I'll give back more to the world and hopefully help to make a diffrence and I'll be surrounded by many people who care about me.
The tic marking is part of the homework from lesson 3 back when i got the program 4 years ago. I'm not quite sure if they took that out since then though. Basically what you do is everytime you stop a negative thought, you make a tic mark. It was originally put into the program to show us how many negative thoughts we really have in a day and to see what it feels like to overcome them.
Mike
If i don't do it and stay where i am, then i always struggle financially, my relationships will not grow, i'll spend most of my time suffering and i'll end up completely alone.
But if i do it then I'm going to feel much better about myself, I'll be able to strengthen relationships, I'll have more energy, I'll be able to make more accomplishments, I'll give back more to the world and hopefully help to make a diffrence and I'll be surrounded by many people who care about me.
The tic marking is part of the homework from lesson 3 back when i got the program 4 years ago. I'm not quite sure if they took that out since then though. Basically what you do is everytime you stop a negative thought, you make a tic mark. It was originally put into the program to show us how many negative thoughts we really have in a day and to see what it feels like to overcome them.
Mike
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Guest
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~*schnauzermom*~
- Posts: 183
- Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2005 9:24 pm
TracyH
You're very welcome, I'm greatful for the program and all the people in my life that made this progression possible and I'm happy to return the favor. I really hope this reaches as many people as possible and gives them hope as there is alot of suffering in the world and I believe everyone can relate to suffering.
One of the main reasons of doing this is to help realize that sometimes we have to follow our hearts even if we don't know where our destination may lie. The journey can also change at any moment and that's alright too. As long as we keep a bright future in our hearts no matter what, our journey is going to be worthwhile.
Mike
You're very welcome, I'm greatful for the program and all the people in my life that made this progression possible and I'm happy to return the favor. I really hope this reaches as many people as possible and gives them hope as there is alot of suffering in the world and I believe everyone can relate to suffering.
One of the main reasons of doing this is to help realize that sometimes we have to follow our hearts even if we don't know where our destination may lie. The journey can also change at any moment and that's alright too. As long as we keep a bright future in our hearts no matter what, our journey is going to be worthwhile.
Mike
"Afterall, everybody only hears what he understands." by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe