Always worried and stressed

AN · Post by AN » Sat Jan 31, 2009 4:58 am

I recently started a new job where I have a lot of responsibilities. I struggle to focus at work and get things done. I end up feeling very anxious and engage in constant negative, self-talk. This makes is hard to start any work. As a result, sometimes I bring work home because home seems like a safer place. I don't have to worry about my anxiety and panic attacks that others may see and can calm myself down while at home. Work and these tasks are always on my mind. I can't eat, can't sleep, and am always worried and stressed. If it wasn't this job, it would be something else that I fixate on. However, things are the worst they have ever been. I try to think positive thoughts and listen to my relaxation tapes, but I wake up more stressed and panicked. It is possible that I am thinking about work and engaging in negative self-talk while sleeping? How can I make things better and get my mind away from thinking of work and tasks? Nothing seems to work or help to relax my mind. What can I do? What has helped others?

Thanks,
Amy

cfe · Post by **cfe** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 5:45 am

I would think that if you don't give in to the anxiety and prove to yourself that you actually can get work done at the office that would be a good place to start. Any time I give in to anxiety by avoiding, I feel worse.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:10 am

Thanks for the response, Faith. That's helpful. I have to find a way to keep working through the anxiety to get things done. Then I will feel better when I accomplish tasks. Right now I am so hard on myself.
Take care,
Amy

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:50 am

Believe me, I know the feeling. I have days where I just stare at my computer and feel like I just can't do anything. Then I find myself goofing off on Facebook or visiting forums, and feeling guilty. That doesn't motivate me either. It's a viscious cycle. If I MAKE myself focus in and get started, I feel better in more ways than one.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 8:34 am

AN,

here is what has helped me;

When you take a break from work write some of your negatives down then write a positive spin to them. I'm telling you the act of writing helps soo much.

Another thing is when you get to work write a to-do list and number them with the most important first. Scrath off the task when you get it done. If you don't complete the list its OK because you will add this to tommorrows list. this really helps me stay focused

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 7:37 am

Hi there, AN!

I have this same problem and logged in to see if there was anything helpful on the forums. I also think negatively of myself, which then just turns into a cycle of not being good enough at my job and laying awake at night, worrying about being fired or whatever. It's really stressful, as I'm sure you know!

Like you, I also have problems focusing... I think I am afraid that if I start doing the work, then I will struggle because I don't understand something, and then that will lead to more negative self-talk. Then, I get unmotivated.

I have found that saying to myself "ok, I am going to work on this project from 9 a.m. to 10 a.m., and then I can have a break" really seems to help me focus. I used to work in journalism so giving myself a deadline really lights a fire under my seat!

I listen to some motivatiing music on my iPod, and just focus. If I find myself wandering and getting distracted, I quickly try to refocus until the allotted time is up. Then, I am free to have my 10 minute break or however long it may be.

Anyway, I can just really relate - about not feeling that you're good enough, the constant negativity, etc. Hang in there.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 8:36 am

Stay at work, AN, and do your work there while feeling your anxiety. I can remember years ago when I used to have lots of anxiety at work and I finally told my boss (because I really wanted to go home.) He smiled at me and told me that I could have anxiety here (the office) just as well. It helped me so much to realize that I could get my work done while feeling anxious and that the focusing on my work actually helped me to move through the anxiety and allow it to pass. Keep your work at work. The suggestion to break it down in increments is a great idea. Follow that as well. Give yourself an hour and then take a break for a few minutes. Give yourself some more time and take a break. This will help you to stay focused.

Secondly, make a list of 25 things that are good about you. Read it right before bed every night and add one new thing daily. Make this a habit. Yes, you can find 25 things - and much more as you will soon find out once you begin this exercise.

Go to the mirror and tell yourself that 'no matter what you will not abandon you'. It is safe to feel anxiety. You are safe. And, you will stay with yourself through all the discomfort. Soothe, soothe, soothe. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a small child. It's OK to be afraid. It's ok to have anxiety.

Use your breath to slow yourself down. Breathe in. Hold for 4. Breathe out slowly.

You can do this AND you can handle the anxiety.