Day 15
I had my training today for a new job. This is job is going to be a huge challenge for me as it is a call center and it forces me to confront my social anxiety head on. Truthfully what i noticed is my social anxiety is actually more like anxiety when it comes to talking. A long time ago when i was still in elementary school (grade 7ish) I was picked on and people were calling me gay so I decided that what i needed to do is stop doing anything that would convince someone that i was gay...one of these things was expressing myself and even having emotions. So everytime I spoke, I would judge every word that came out of my mouth. Eventually I spoke less and less and basically would only speak if I absolutely had to and even then i would say the least ammount of words i could.
So all through the training there was this inner voice telling me that I can't do it, it isn't safe. This is what i'd like to refer to as the ego by the way. So neways while this was going on I noticed that I would tackle these thoughts right away and not let them go unnoticed for too long. It was still very difficult and about 100 of the tic marks today were about this. It was a little difficult to overcome and stop the feelings that i was having. I was also beating myself up because I felt like i cannot talk properly as I kept messing up on doing the questionarre with the interviewer (interviewer was the pretend client). It also didn't help that both my friend who works there and the interviewer said this job is really easy. I beat myself up for that too because it really wasn't easy. I didn't really overcome the feeling until i got home and actually replaced the negative thought on paper. The job may not be difficult for them as they may not have the same limitations and are speaking from their stand point in the job and in life but with my set of limitations this is a struggle and that's alright. It doesn't mean i'm a bad person or that I have to be this way forever, it just means that I have the limitation and the job is going to give me many opportunities to overcome it.
I also met up with a friend whom i met online. I'm kinda sick of being stuck in my apt as I do have a bit of agoraphobia so it was a great way to face that limitation as well. I felt a little nervous but over all I enjoyed myself.
I feel the real stress is coming up tomorrow...my first shift!!!
Accomplishments; 190 (170 Tics)
Mike
NinjaFrodo's Tic Mark Journal
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Guest
Day 16 (Tic Marking and heavy limitation exposure)
I had gotten to bed a little later than i expected. I really enjoyed visiting my friend and I was also really afraid about today at the new job since it was going to be my first day. I wanted to postpone it as long as i could but man did it ever make me feel yukky in the morning. I got up at 6:40 and didn't have to leave until 8am. I just wanted to get a few things accomplished that would make me feel better and bring my energy up. I was also wanting to get a head start on handling my anxiety as I kinda wanted to increase my positive feelings to combat the negative ones i'd get at the new job.
The meditation was extremely useful and I wish i spent more time doing them and I actually didn't get much more than that accomplished. I've realized that yes meditation is great and makes me feel alot better but only doing it once a day isn't going to cut it...I really need to add more of it into my daily routine especially if i'm going to be facing my limitations this strong.
As for work...Holy crap!!! What i went through yestaurday was nothing compared to how i felt today! I was so terrified that I had a very hard time holding it together. There were many times I felt like just telling one of the supervisors that I cannot do this job and just pack my stuff up and leave but honestly I knew this would not make me feel any better in fact it would make me feel alot worse, I'd go back to my same financial problems and I know if i'm going to want to improve my life and have a brighter future then i'm going to have to overcome this problem. It took me so bloody long just to call the first person and I had messed up and I swear that lady thought i was a nut...she would be a nut to not think i was a nut after the words that flowed out of my mouth due to my insecurity and nervousness. Thinking about it later on made me wanna laugh though just at how stupid it sounded but, I was freightened in the moment.
I actually had to take a few moments in between all the calls for the first couple of hours, just to prepare myself mentally for the next one and to slow down my breathing as it was getting really fast and I was rambling on with how nervous i was to my friend who was there trying to help me out and the lady beside me who was also trying to help me out. I think they actually both found it humerous how much of a nervous wreck i was. Honestly it was pretty funny and I was actually glad they were laughing as it kinda brought me out of that state of seriousness. In an attempt to make myself feel comfortable...I wrote out a script to use for leaving messages as i was lucky enough to get most of my calls being answered by the answering machine. I eventually became better at leaving messages which was great and i was slowly getting better. I was also getting better when the people picked up the phone as well as i used part of the script with actual answered calls. Telling people that it was my first day also brought the stress level down alot and I was so greatful that these people understood.
Then I had a call back who seemed a little irritable at first just because of her poor luck with these questionares. I let her know i was on my first day and she changed her attitude so quickly and i went through some questions with her and we got to joking about some of them and into some deep talks and I actually enjoyed the conversation. I enjoyed it soooooo much that I kinda let the questionare go on for about an hour :S Maybe not the best idea for the company but it was a huuuuuuuuge accomplishment for me and it just made the rest of the calls better. I just felt so liberated! It was like I said what i needed to say and what i wanted to say (joking around) and I didn't get judged or have my head snapped off or anything. I went on my lunch break shortly after that and I was able to socialize with the people in there alot easier. It seemed like I was actually more creative in my thinking as well and not in the destructive negative thinking way!!!
Today was a huge day for me and I'm really hoping that tomorrow is a little easier than this morning.
Accomplishments;70 (50 tics which could have been alot more but it was impossible to tic mark at work)
Mike
I had gotten to bed a little later than i expected. I really enjoyed visiting my friend and I was also really afraid about today at the new job since it was going to be my first day. I wanted to postpone it as long as i could but man did it ever make me feel yukky in the morning. I got up at 6:40 and didn't have to leave until 8am. I just wanted to get a few things accomplished that would make me feel better and bring my energy up. I was also wanting to get a head start on handling my anxiety as I kinda wanted to increase my positive feelings to combat the negative ones i'd get at the new job.
The meditation was extremely useful and I wish i spent more time doing them and I actually didn't get much more than that accomplished. I've realized that yes meditation is great and makes me feel alot better but only doing it once a day isn't going to cut it...I really need to add more of it into my daily routine especially if i'm going to be facing my limitations this strong.
As for work...Holy crap!!! What i went through yestaurday was nothing compared to how i felt today! I was so terrified that I had a very hard time holding it together. There were many times I felt like just telling one of the supervisors that I cannot do this job and just pack my stuff up and leave but honestly I knew this would not make me feel any better in fact it would make me feel alot worse, I'd go back to my same financial problems and I know if i'm going to want to improve my life and have a brighter future then i'm going to have to overcome this problem. It took me so bloody long just to call the first person and I had messed up and I swear that lady thought i was a nut...she would be a nut to not think i was a nut after the words that flowed out of my mouth due to my insecurity and nervousness. Thinking about it later on made me wanna laugh though just at how stupid it sounded but, I was freightened in the moment.
I actually had to take a few moments in between all the calls for the first couple of hours, just to prepare myself mentally for the next one and to slow down my breathing as it was getting really fast and I was rambling on with how nervous i was to my friend who was there trying to help me out and the lady beside me who was also trying to help me out. I think they actually both found it humerous how much of a nervous wreck i was. Honestly it was pretty funny and I was actually glad they were laughing as it kinda brought me out of that state of seriousness. In an attempt to make myself feel comfortable...I wrote out a script to use for leaving messages as i was lucky enough to get most of my calls being answered by the answering machine. I eventually became better at leaving messages which was great and i was slowly getting better. I was also getting better when the people picked up the phone as well as i used part of the script with actual answered calls. Telling people that it was my first day also brought the stress level down alot and I was so greatful that these people understood.
Then I had a call back who seemed a little irritable at first just because of her poor luck with these questionares. I let her know i was on my first day and she changed her attitude so quickly and i went through some questions with her and we got to joking about some of them and into some deep talks and I actually enjoyed the conversation. I enjoyed it soooooo much that I kinda let the questionare go on for about an hour :S Maybe not the best idea for the company but it was a huuuuuuuuge accomplishment for me and it just made the rest of the calls better. I just felt so liberated! It was like I said what i needed to say and what i wanted to say (joking around) and I didn't get judged or have my head snapped off or anything. I went on my lunch break shortly after that and I was able to socialize with the people in there alot easier. It seemed like I was actually more creative in my thinking as well and not in the destructive negative thinking way!!!
Today was a huge day for me and I'm really hoping that tomorrow is a little easier than this morning.
Accomplishments;70 (50 tics which could have been alot more but it was impossible to tic mark at work)
Mike
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Guest
Day 17 (The struggle)
I had a real struggle at work today. I knew things were going to be stressful as I am still new to that job and still working on my social anxiety so I decided to try putting up some positive affirmations and my Main goals (Phone people, Talk to people, Try overcoming anxiety). These helped for the most part. I also made a sheet up of mini-goals i had for myself to accomplish during the day. I've noticed something intresting as well. Since the training day I've felt extremely heavy, my digestive system has slowed down a whole lot and I am not even very hungry at all. It makes sense too though because I've been going through alot of the fight or flight response and it does supress the digestive system.
My first goal was to phone 5 people, than 10, 20, 30 and so on. I actually felt good because each person I attempted to call was 1 time that I faced my social anxiety despite feeling uncomfortable. I did it 101 times today! This was to keep me motivated and not so much worried about the ammount of people I recruit for the focus groups as I do tend to expect too much from myself at the start of new jobs. It was helping me out a bunch but I still got really frustrated.
I got really worried that I'd talk to someone who was going to start laughing at the mistakes i make out of my anxiousness. It actually brought up some memories of when i was in elementary/highschool when people would make fun of me and laugh at me. I was so scared of this happening that I was really really careful at who I would call...probabbly overly careful. I spent way too much time over analyzing if the person who's data card i was look at would qualify or not. I felt really bad that i wasn't able to overcome this and let it not effect me. The laughing bothers me so much it just makes me feel like they're saying i'm stupid or pathetic in their heads and I just get so embarassed but this is normal to feel this way as I've had this happen to me so many times in the past. I would also only call females because I felt the likely hood of being laughed at would be worse when it came to calling guys.
I almost quit the new job after one incident. I got a person who had qualified despite all the diffrent categories she had to fit in and then i got up to the board and got help from one of the supervisors and found out that she actually didn't qualify because of some "gray area". I then had to call her back and tell her that she didn't qualify and wow did i ever feel like crap. I got so frustrated that i decided thats when i needed to take my lunch to go calm myself down. I ate my lunch and then went for a walk to clear my head and on the walk i decided that I was going to work the rest of my shift and then tell them that I'm not intrested in continuing working there. I also decided that since it was my last day, I would just pick cards using my intuition instead of judgement but well that didn't work because I was still too anxious and this really supresses my intuitive side.
So the end of the day came and i had went to the washroom and my friend who also works there was also in there and he was talking about how it'll be easier on monday and that i'll get better at it and I told him i was about to quit and he convinced me otherwise. He said the supervisors were actually pleased with my progress and I was like what? Apparently I'm moving at a normal pace and i really thought the supervisors were putting pressure on me because the person working beside me had kept telling me that they're watching me like a hawk. I felt like I wasn't doing good because I wasn't doing half the quota that other people in the office were getting (7 recruits a day) but they weren't pressuring me at all. So my feeling of me not being able to do this job is based on the fear of people laughing at me which would make me feel embarassed, an untrue feeling of being way too pressured and lack of faith that things would work out.
I ended the day off very well by going to a house warming party. Now i'm not into drinking all the time but every once in awhile is a good idea. It really loosened me up and I had alot of fun. It was like my reward for working on my limitations at work today.
Accomplishments; 156 (42 tics & 101 attempts to socialize without alcohol)
I also feel really good about the attempts to socialize no matter how they turn out because it takes awhile to become good at any skill just like it takes a baby many attempts to walk before mastering it. I'm like a baby when it comes to socializing and also like the baby when it master walking it opens up a whole new set of things to do like running, jogging, dancing....I can't wait!
Mike
I had a real struggle at work today. I knew things were going to be stressful as I am still new to that job and still working on my social anxiety so I decided to try putting up some positive affirmations and my Main goals (Phone people, Talk to people, Try overcoming anxiety). These helped for the most part. I also made a sheet up of mini-goals i had for myself to accomplish during the day. I've noticed something intresting as well. Since the training day I've felt extremely heavy, my digestive system has slowed down a whole lot and I am not even very hungry at all. It makes sense too though because I've been going through alot of the fight or flight response and it does supress the digestive system.
My first goal was to phone 5 people, than 10, 20, 30 and so on. I actually felt good because each person I attempted to call was 1 time that I faced my social anxiety despite feeling uncomfortable. I did it 101 times today! This was to keep me motivated and not so much worried about the ammount of people I recruit for the focus groups as I do tend to expect too much from myself at the start of new jobs. It was helping me out a bunch but I still got really frustrated.
I got really worried that I'd talk to someone who was going to start laughing at the mistakes i make out of my anxiousness. It actually brought up some memories of when i was in elementary/highschool when people would make fun of me and laugh at me. I was so scared of this happening that I was really really careful at who I would call...probabbly overly careful. I spent way too much time over analyzing if the person who's data card i was look at would qualify or not. I felt really bad that i wasn't able to overcome this and let it not effect me. The laughing bothers me so much it just makes me feel like they're saying i'm stupid or pathetic in their heads and I just get so embarassed but this is normal to feel this way as I've had this happen to me so many times in the past. I would also only call females because I felt the likely hood of being laughed at would be worse when it came to calling guys.
I almost quit the new job after one incident. I got a person who had qualified despite all the diffrent categories she had to fit in and then i got up to the board and got help from one of the supervisors and found out that she actually didn't qualify because of some "gray area". I then had to call her back and tell her that she didn't qualify and wow did i ever feel like crap. I got so frustrated that i decided thats when i needed to take my lunch to go calm myself down. I ate my lunch and then went for a walk to clear my head and on the walk i decided that I was going to work the rest of my shift and then tell them that I'm not intrested in continuing working there. I also decided that since it was my last day, I would just pick cards using my intuition instead of judgement but well that didn't work because I was still too anxious and this really supresses my intuitive side.
So the end of the day came and i had went to the washroom and my friend who also works there was also in there and he was talking about how it'll be easier on monday and that i'll get better at it and I told him i was about to quit and he convinced me otherwise. He said the supervisors were actually pleased with my progress and I was like what? Apparently I'm moving at a normal pace and i really thought the supervisors were putting pressure on me because the person working beside me had kept telling me that they're watching me like a hawk. I felt like I wasn't doing good because I wasn't doing half the quota that other people in the office were getting (7 recruits a day) but they weren't pressuring me at all. So my feeling of me not being able to do this job is based on the fear of people laughing at me which would make me feel embarassed, an untrue feeling of being way too pressured and lack of faith that things would work out.
I ended the day off very well by going to a house warming party. Now i'm not into drinking all the time but every once in awhile is a good idea. It really loosened me up and I had alot of fun. It was like my reward for working on my limitations at work today.
Accomplishments; 156 (42 tics & 101 attempts to socialize without alcohol)
I also feel really good about the attempts to socialize no matter how they turn out because it takes awhile to become good at any skill just like it takes a baby many attempts to walk before mastering it. I'm like a baby when it comes to socializing and also like the baby when it master walking it opens up a whole new set of things to do like running, jogging, dancing....I can't wait!
Mike
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Guest
Day 18 (The Fear-The limitation)
So I realized that I push myself so hard into socializing and I expect myself to be a master at it and It comes from my biggest fear which is that of being completely alone. This has scared me for so long and I've felt really alone for a very long time and I even feel that i need to attempt socializing even if i don't want to. I guess that's why i haven't felt so good about my accomplishments when it comes to working on my social anxiety.
I also realized that I get so many negative feelings and memories come up especially when i feel that i'm about to fall asleep. It is almost as if they are trying to keep me awake. They scare me but at the same time it helps me as well.
I decided to start keeping track of social attempts not only at the other job but at this job as well. I Know this will really help to get me exactly where I want to go and help me reach my goals.
Accomplishments;143 (92 tics & 30 attempts at being social)
Mike
So I realized that I push myself so hard into socializing and I expect myself to be a master at it and It comes from my biggest fear which is that of being completely alone. This has scared me for so long and I've felt really alone for a very long time and I even feel that i need to attempt socializing even if i don't want to. I guess that's why i haven't felt so good about my accomplishments when it comes to working on my social anxiety.
I also realized that I get so many negative feelings and memories come up especially when i feel that i'm about to fall asleep. It is almost as if they are trying to keep me awake. They scare me but at the same time it helps me as well.
I decided to start keeping track of social attempts not only at the other job but at this job as well. I Know this will really help to get me exactly where I want to go and help me reach my goals.
Accomplishments;143 (92 tics & 30 attempts at being social)
Mike
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Guest
Day 19 (Distractions)
I'm realizing more and more how the negative emotions & the painful memories that come up are all trying to distract me from having to face my limitations. It is the ego's way of trying to protect me from pain and suffering which I would at risk for when i'm face my limitations. I'm also realizing that what i'm really afraid of is the emotions and the memory of the original situation that is similar to the current ones. The thing with distractions is that, you can use them to empower or disempower you! I've started using visuals from some of the meditations i'm working with and they help...especially with the love meditation. I'm hoping the same works with pleasant pictures as well!
Work wise...well with the restaurant I actually feel like i'm doing a great job instead of how i felt like i was a crappy worker before i started to do this tic marking and accomplishment thing. My level of anxiety isn't as bad as it used to be however i'm noticing that it does get up there when i eat alot of sweets. I mean I become more spacy, more anger/sad/fear type memories & thoughts and I also start to feel more tired. I really gotta watch the sweets if i wanna get over my limitations.
I started keeping track of the social limitations yestaurday and wow I feel much better everytime i try to do it. Before I just got frustrated because i couldn't do it and feel comfortable and I couldn't say what i wanted to say. Now it doesn't seem so bad and I can accept that i'm not a master at it! It's actually fun to work on mastering it!
I found a really awesome show a little while back called So You Think You Can Dance Canada and I enjoy it soooo much. There is so much passion put into all of the dances and so much compassion as well. I enjoy watching all the dances and the dancers and all the personalities of that show however, I've kept feeling as if I'll never get this kind of passion. I guess because i've never had it that it is difficult to see myself with it.
Accomplishments;64 (21 Tics & 20 attempts to overcome social anxiety)
Mike
I'm realizing more and more how the negative emotions & the painful memories that come up are all trying to distract me from having to face my limitations. It is the ego's way of trying to protect me from pain and suffering which I would at risk for when i'm face my limitations. I'm also realizing that what i'm really afraid of is the emotions and the memory of the original situation that is similar to the current ones. The thing with distractions is that, you can use them to empower or disempower you! I've started using visuals from some of the meditations i'm working with and they help...especially with the love meditation. I'm hoping the same works with pleasant pictures as well!
Work wise...well with the restaurant I actually feel like i'm doing a great job instead of how i felt like i was a crappy worker before i started to do this tic marking and accomplishment thing. My level of anxiety isn't as bad as it used to be however i'm noticing that it does get up there when i eat alot of sweets. I mean I become more spacy, more anger/sad/fear type memories & thoughts and I also start to feel more tired. I really gotta watch the sweets if i wanna get over my limitations.
I started keeping track of the social limitations yestaurday and wow I feel much better everytime i try to do it. Before I just got frustrated because i couldn't do it and feel comfortable and I couldn't say what i wanted to say. Now it doesn't seem so bad and I can accept that i'm not a master at it! It's actually fun to work on mastering it!
I found a really awesome show a little while back called So You Think You Can Dance Canada and I enjoy it soooo much. There is so much passion put into all of the dances and so much compassion as well. I enjoy watching all the dances and the dancers and all the personalities of that show however, I've kept feeling as if I'll never get this kind of passion. I guess because i've never had it that it is difficult to see myself with it.
Accomplishments;64 (21 Tics & 20 attempts to overcome social anxiety)
Mike
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Guest
i don't quite get the "tic mark" thing. is it from the StressCenter.com program? maybe i have a different version.-
Guest
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Guest
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Guest
Day 20 (My worst enemy..my best allie)
Today was my long day...I was really afraid because I had to work both at the restaurant and the call centre and historically it has been difficult to even handle even 1 job at a time. I now know why and also one of the biggest factors as to why I wasn't feeling the sense of accomplishment whenever i accomplished things. The answer is Judgement and the fear of it!
I constantly feel vulnerable to being affected by judgement because of the body symptoms and how they affect my cognitive and communicative abilities. I feel tremendously strong fear that the other person will judge me if I don't do things perfectly. What I really figured out is that I'm afraid of judging myself but It keeps coming up so strong because I've been doing this for so long. I honestly thought i stopped giving myself these negative titles a long time ago but it only became evident when I had said to my coworker (who asked me something about my life) and I said, "Ya I know my life is a mess" and she said don't say that kind of negative stuff it only brings on more of that in your life. I hadn't even made the connection that it was negative! I actually started to realize that I say many negative things everytime i was talking to people on the phone. Things like "that sounded dumb, I'm not confident enough, they probabbly thought I was stupid, why did I think that?
So The last 2 days of work I had spent phoning women at the call centre as that was part of the quotas i had to fill. I've always found women to be easier to talk to then men because in my opinion they were safer and more understanding of emotions and struggles. Today I had to strictly call males only for the focus groups and It was so tough. I'm not sure 100% where this fear comes from but guys scare me. I'm sure at some point with most gay guys there is alot of fear towards the straight ones which would definately make sense but I feel there is more to it then that. It took me alot of slow deep breathing and negative thought replacements in my mind to face it but i did it and I actually realized that they aren't so scary and alot of them are actually pretty friendly. I felt so much better about myself with this accomplishment as I do feel that this social limitation has been the hardest limitation I've ever had to deal with in my life. For so much of my life I felt that in order to feel comfortable socializing, I had to get myself to a place where I was above the other person or where i could over power them if i needed to before I even attempt to socialize and it is no wonder why it resulted in me avoiding most if not all social situations. It was so amazing how empowered and good I felt after facing that limitation. I swear the music that I had enjoyed, sounded even better, food tasted better, getting to hangout with my co-workers at the restaurant was even better too. I was even able to be comfortable socially with more customers too...Men & Women!
It is really intresting now because when I think about all the times I've made accomplishments and didn't feel good about them and actually felt like I didn't do anything...it was because I didn't face my social limitation! So it was kinda like a rule...If I didn't socialize and do it perfectly then I'm a complete failure. Wow how rediculous is that?
I think what makes my accomplishments feel really good is when I tell myself that I faced something (like socializing) despite my really strong limitations and how uncomfortable It made me feel.
A co-worker of mine at the call centre was very intresting. She was so very passionate about her faith and what it gave her. Now I may not agree with her spiritual beliefs but I was really greatful that she shared her passion with me. She shared alot of great energy with me. She was saying how her faith in Jesus makes her feel lighter and that it feels like someone is always watching her back. What an incredible feeling! I actually remember feeling the exact thing she was talking about with Buddha in the classes we were doing. It also helped me face my limitations and know that I was going to be ok.
Oh and on top of things, I recruited 1 person dispite me telling myself it would be Impossible!!
Accomplishments; 216 (85 Tics & 98 attempts to face social limitation)
Mike
Today was my long day...I was really afraid because I had to work both at the restaurant and the call centre and historically it has been difficult to even handle even 1 job at a time. I now know why and also one of the biggest factors as to why I wasn't feeling the sense of accomplishment whenever i accomplished things. The answer is Judgement and the fear of it!
I constantly feel vulnerable to being affected by judgement because of the body symptoms and how they affect my cognitive and communicative abilities. I feel tremendously strong fear that the other person will judge me if I don't do things perfectly. What I really figured out is that I'm afraid of judging myself but It keeps coming up so strong because I've been doing this for so long. I honestly thought i stopped giving myself these negative titles a long time ago but it only became evident when I had said to my coworker (who asked me something about my life) and I said, "Ya I know my life is a mess" and she said don't say that kind of negative stuff it only brings on more of that in your life. I hadn't even made the connection that it was negative! I actually started to realize that I say many negative things everytime i was talking to people on the phone. Things like "that sounded dumb, I'm not confident enough, they probabbly thought I was stupid, why did I think that?
So The last 2 days of work I had spent phoning women at the call centre as that was part of the quotas i had to fill. I've always found women to be easier to talk to then men because in my opinion they were safer and more understanding of emotions and struggles. Today I had to strictly call males only for the focus groups and It was so tough. I'm not sure 100% where this fear comes from but guys scare me. I'm sure at some point with most gay guys there is alot of fear towards the straight ones which would definately make sense but I feel there is more to it then that. It took me alot of slow deep breathing and negative thought replacements in my mind to face it but i did it and I actually realized that they aren't so scary and alot of them are actually pretty friendly. I felt so much better about myself with this accomplishment as I do feel that this social limitation has been the hardest limitation I've ever had to deal with in my life. For so much of my life I felt that in order to feel comfortable socializing, I had to get myself to a place where I was above the other person or where i could over power them if i needed to before I even attempt to socialize and it is no wonder why it resulted in me avoiding most if not all social situations. It was so amazing how empowered and good I felt after facing that limitation. I swear the music that I had enjoyed, sounded even better, food tasted better, getting to hangout with my co-workers at the restaurant was even better too. I was even able to be comfortable socially with more customers too...Men & Women!
It is really intresting now because when I think about all the times I've made accomplishments and didn't feel good about them and actually felt like I didn't do anything...it was because I didn't face my social limitation! So it was kinda like a rule...If I didn't socialize and do it perfectly then I'm a complete failure. Wow how rediculous is that?
I think what makes my accomplishments feel really good is when I tell myself that I faced something (like socializing) despite my really strong limitations and how uncomfortable It made me feel.
A co-worker of mine at the call centre was very intresting. She was so very passionate about her faith and what it gave her. Now I may not agree with her spiritual beliefs but I was really greatful that she shared her passion with me. She shared alot of great energy with me. She was saying how her faith in Jesus makes her feel lighter and that it feels like someone is always watching her back. What an incredible feeling! I actually remember feeling the exact thing she was talking about with Buddha in the classes we were doing. It also helped me face my limitations and know that I was going to be ok.
Oh and on top of things, I recruited 1 person dispite me telling myself it would be Impossible!!
Accomplishments; 216 (85 Tics & 98 attempts to face social limitation)
Mike
laura R
Right you are however I really do believe people know exactly what they need to do but sometimes it is hard for them to accept it! You could even test this if you want. If someone comes up to you and asks you what to do then ask them what would they do if they knew what to do. It sounds strange but people don't realize what you say until after they answer you. The Journalling for the tic marking may continue for a short while however my goal was only 21 days which is today.
Mike
Right you are however I really do believe people know exactly what they need to do but sometimes it is hard for them to accept it! You could even test this if you want. If someone comes up to you and asks you what to do then ask them what would they do if they knew what to do. It sounds strange but people don't realize what you say until after they answer you. The Journalling for the tic marking may continue for a short while however my goal was only 21 days which is today.
Mike