Hi... who's in session 3 now? I am and I'm having trouble with it. I know I have a good amount of negative self talk within me, and I try to look for the good, but there are so many negatives around me that it's very hard to do.
I feel like nobody understands me and nobody really cares. I lost my father and Grandmother within the past 2 years and I feel like all the people who gave me unconditional love are gone.
I'm unemployed and going thru a bankruptcy because of it. I got offered a really good job about 2 months ago and they brought me in for the background check and final paperwork. The offer was recinded because of my credit, because of my unemployment! I feel horrible in this catch 22!
My last job was a nice paying job... a newly created position at the company. After 5 months they let me go. I'm very reliable and I thought I was doing a great job... so I guess it boiled down to they just didn't like me. They said they were eliminating the position. I really feel rejected from many different angles. And so I'm becoming more depressed and anxious about finances, life and my future. Sometimes anxiety isn't imaginary!
I'm married with no kids and although my husband is a great guy, he doesn't understand me. I can spend all day cleaning the house and he comes home and says nothing positive about it. But if I leave a pile of mail for 3 days he mentions it to me negatively.
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. And I'm losing motivation to do anything right. Sometimes I wish an anxiety attack would really just kill me and get it over with. I'm not suicidal, but a natural death would be a-ok with me right now.
Any advice??
Trouble with session 3
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Guest
msxcat
You have been through a lot and your feelings are understandable.but this thinking will really send you into the pit. (I fell in just a pit a few hours ago due to a situation) Keep reviewing lesson three.Also talk with your husband about needing encouragement for those things such as cleaning the house etc.
sometimes the painful feelings get so intense I understand one wanting to just give up. Please don't. (You must have some good job skills to even be considered for the jobs mentioned so that is a plus)
You have been through a lot and your feelings are understandable.but this thinking will really send you into the pit. (I fell in just a pit a few hours ago due to a situation) Keep reviewing lesson three.Also talk with your husband about needing encouragement for those things such as cleaning the house etc.
sometimes the painful feelings get so intense I understand one wanting to just give up. Please don't. (You must have some good job skills to even be considered for the jobs mentioned so that is a plus)
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Guest
msxcat,
I can relate on so many of your issues. My heart is with you.
I absolutely could not do the session 3. I couldn't write down negative thoughts. There were so many! I'd be writing all day. And something about seeing it on paper unnerved me.
If you can't, go ahead in the program. You can always come back to it if you are ready. There's still a lot of good material waiting for you.
I do use the journal I bought. I write down positive thing I hear about myself, encouraging words I read, etc.
Hang in there and keep your eyes on the finish line!
I can relate on so many of your issues. My heart is with you.
I absolutely could not do the session 3. I couldn't write down negative thoughts. There were so many! I'd be writing all day. And something about seeing it on paper unnerved me.
If you can't, go ahead in the program. You can always come back to it if you are ready. There's still a lot of good material waiting for you.
I do use the journal I bought. I write down positive thing I hear about myself, encouraging words I read, etc.
Hang in there and keep your eyes on the finish line!
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Guest
Excellent posts here, so my reply is redundant. Just want to offer an idea regarding problems writing down the negatives. Write them down, but don't go back and read them, and at the end of each day, ceremoniously burn those pages. When nothing but ashes remain, say to the ashes, good ridance. Afterward, listen to the Relaxation CD.
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Guest
Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm stuck on session 3 but should I really skip it? I feel like a failure there too. They say it's the building block of the whole program so I'm kinda hesitant about skipping it. I have been on it for 2 weeks tho and I am doing the journaling and workbook. I think I listened to the lesson 5 times now! I think I'm making some progress but when a lot of my negative thinking is the truth, it's really hard to ignore or turn it into a positive statement.
There's much more going on with me than I wrote obviously, but I'm definitely depressed and I feel like I have a right to be, but I shouldn't be, etc. Tug of war going on over here! I think I have curbed a lot of the anxiety now tho, which is good.
There's much more going on with me than I wrote obviously, but I'm definitely depressed and I feel like I have a right to be, but I shouldn't be, etc. Tug of war going on over here! I think I have curbed a lot of the anxiety now tho, which is good.
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Guest
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Guest
MaxCat,
Be SURE to pick 4 negative thoughts a day to CHANGE into positive thoughts.
One positive I see is that you're special enough that a position was CREATED and you were chosen for it!
It's ok if the position went away and it doesn't mean it was your fault. More often than not, business decisions such as that are made based on dollars. If the return on the investment of a new position doesn't cover the cost, that may have been the reason it was eliminated.
Like someone else said, you have some great skills and CAN get another job... it just may take some effort figuring out what to do, but you can and WILL!
Focus on the positives throughout your life. You're married - wow, that's great! Your husband sees great things in you... and it's likely he doesn't tell you how great of a job you've done cleaning the house because you so often DO a great job of that, he almost expects it. It is important for him to realize how much you need the positive reinforcement and encouragement.
I've read the book, "The Five Love Languages" and believe that my husband's way of showing love is "acts of service", but I need "quality time". I've had to be assertive in asking him for what I need. It's frustrating to him because he works so hard and wants me to "know" from that how much he loves me, but it doesn't have the desired effects. When he spends quality time with me, the effects are so much greater. If I didn't ask for it, though, I wouldn't get it as often as I need it.
Sorry for the tangent there, but I wanted to show that there are so many positive things going on. And if you're a believer, you know that even out of the worst things in life, God brings good! Have faith that this is true and in time you'll know what that good is.
Be SURE to pick 4 negative thoughts a day to CHANGE into positive thoughts.
One positive I see is that you're special enough that a position was CREATED and you were chosen for it!
It's ok if the position went away and it doesn't mean it was your fault. More often than not, business decisions such as that are made based on dollars. If the return on the investment of a new position doesn't cover the cost, that may have been the reason it was eliminated.
Like someone else said, you have some great skills and CAN get another job... it just may take some effort figuring out what to do, but you can and WILL!
Focus on the positives throughout your life. You're married - wow, that's great! Your husband sees great things in you... and it's likely he doesn't tell you how great of a job you've done cleaning the house because you so often DO a great job of that, he almost expects it. It is important for him to realize how much you need the positive reinforcement and encouragement.
I've read the book, "The Five Love Languages" and believe that my husband's way of showing love is "acts of service", but I need "quality time". I've had to be assertive in asking him for what I need. It's frustrating to him because he works so hard and wants me to "know" from that how much he loves me, but it doesn't have the desired effects. When he spends quality time with me, the effects are so much greater. If I didn't ask for it, though, I wouldn't get it as often as I need it.
Sorry for the tangent there, but I wanted to show that there are so many positive things going on. And if you're a believer, you know that even out of the worst things in life, God brings good! Have faith that this is true and in time you'll know what that good is.
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Guest
MaxCat: You have been given great advice here! You are right that you have been through many difficult things in the past two years, but people DO care (look at all the support here!) and there is hope. You can find it in you to overcome this negative outlook and start to turn things around. You are jumping to conclusions that you were let go because they didn't like you. It probably had NOTHING to do with your performance.Your unemployment is temporary...I am sure you will eventually find a job that wouldn't be impacted by a credit check. You will get through this. If your husband is a great guy, I am sure he will be receptive to you talking about how you need some positive reinforcement. Did he listen to the "I'll Be there for you" tape and read the Partners pages? My recommendation is to plug on with session 3 and the rest of the program. Make sure address every negative thought, even if it is just to say "I have been through a lot, I've had some serious losses recently. Of course I feel stressed and sad, that is normal." You can do it.
formerly SleeplessMom
formerly SleeplessMom