Any helpful tips for my situation?

eezz · Post by **eezz** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 1:22 pm

I got the program 2 weeks ago, I'm on session 3 of the program. Lately, I return to school from my 4 weeks winter break. Sitting in class for a long period of time makes me really anxious and panicky and trying to stay focus is extremely difficult for me. I handle my panicky moment using the deep breathing technique on Tues. and it work well. Indeed, I felt really proud of myself at the end of the day on Tues. But,by Thurs and throughout the week my anxious and panicky feeling rise higher and cont..on. I try the deep breathing technique again, but I got too anxious its really hard for me take one deep breath after another and none of the positive dialogue seem to go through. It sounds so easy through the audio session, but when I return to school all these fearful thought kicks in when I'm sitting in class surround by so many other students. My fatigue, like shakiness, sweaty palms, really tense neck continues to return. I realize it is not that easy to deal with these panicky, anxious moment as it hit. It sounds so easy through the audio session, but when I face my fear as I return to school, I realize it is not that easy to deal with my panicky, anxious moment when it hit. This really obstruct my ability to focus and concentrate in class, when there are so many important lecture given by the professor to tune into.

This semester is like my only faith and chance to begin to change and boost up those grades of mine. I am currently on academic probation and if those grades of mine or not bumping up by any point, I will be suspended from the university for a yr. All these anxiety i had experience for years had bit back at me little by little each day and yr. One part of what i'm facing now is also due to my inability to cope with these anxiety and panicky feeling .

Does any of you experience something like this before, or have any helpful tips for me?

SunnyFL · Post by **SunnyFL** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 2:22 pm

Hi eezz,
What is it that you feel anxious about when you are in class?
SunnyFL

jlilangel · Post by **jlilangel** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:29 pm

I had the same problem with week two. I have a hard time doing the breathing through my nose. I get light headed. I do two or three really deep breaths through my mouth and let them out slowly. My anxiety would start to get the better of me even though I thought I was doing the 6 steps. One day last week I got so angry that I couldn't talk myself out of an attack that I finally said (out loud) "Fine, have the stupid thing if that's what you want!" And I did, it hit really fast and then I went through the other 5 steps. I did the breathing, I talked to myself, calmed myself down, and it went away. All the other times I was forgetting step one...Permission. I was still fighting the panic, not letting it be. Let youself have one, you know you'll be ok.

GIL · Post by **GIL** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 9:09 pm

Hello eezz,
I haven't experienced all the things that you expressed, except that I have always gotten very nervous and bent out of shape over taking tests. Especially because tests are usually timed. I'm also a terrible note taker. I'm not sure if this will temporarily help you or not, but I always used a digital recorder in class that has the software which allows you to store all of your recording on your computer, which also allows for editing and locating things in the recordings faster. I also used a small digital camera and took pictures of things like power point presentations (no flash needed that will distract anyone) and also stored those on my computer and printed them off or typed my own notes from them. I always make it a point to sit in the front of class to do these things and it is less distracting then when you are looking past a classroom full of people when your trying to focus on the instructor.
I wish you the best as you continue to figure things out and overcome the things that stress you out.
God bless!

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 3:21 am

eezz

Hey, I feel for you. I have also had this problem when I was in collage with the anxiety and panicky type feelings. It definately isn't a walk in the park eh?

They say understanding is a great way to overcome any anxiety. So In situations like this asking questions can be a great tool.

Before you were put on probation, What fear would come to you while you were in class? What kind of pain were you focused on?

What was it related to? Was it just being in the classroom? Was it who you were going to be after you finished the classes? Was it about the tests and the grades?

If you can figure out the fear/pain then you can start to change it around.

Mike

eezz · Post by **eezz** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 3:15 pm

Thanks everyone for sharing these helpful thought. I thought some of the question SunnyFL and Mike asked were interesting, b/c I never did ask myself those question like what am I anxious about, what makes me anxious when I'm in class, What fear would I come to while I was in class?, and what was it related to? Nor, did I really analyzes piece by piece into the core root to my problem.

I would say, I'm scared to be around a group of crowds, whose seem like complete stranger to me, and knowing that I'm stuck with this group of crowds for days, weeks, months, and semester long got me anxious. There are many thoughts up in my head, like: are they the people who i will get along with, are they easy going people who I can work with, are they helpful people, are they cruel people, are they judging others a lot, are they the people who I feel comfortable around or speak to?, and the lists can go on and on.

I guess, growing up I was a timid/shy, humble, soft spoken, not very sociable individual. I avoid to do things like speaking up in class, raise my opinion, social situation, basically anything that draws attention from others on me. I can't take criticism from others and feel very irritated easily when I heard neg. saying/judgment about me. I feel uncomfortable doing things, I would consider as out of the norm to everyone else who i surrounded by, which again, draws less attention toward me. I like to please people a lot, like my father or people who don't like me, I have to do everything perfect, like cleaning/organizing [perfectionist, i guess]. I can't get along with and avoid people [the very assertive, very confident, good looking, high temper, aggressive, everyone wants to be friend w/ people,and etc.], who makes me feel inferior, b/c I'm scared to get my feeling hurt. Over the years, I'm starting to use all these and transform it into this protective shell around me.

As a results, this continues to feed my anxiety, and turn my very mild anxious moment to become intense level of anxiousness, and to very extreme panicky feeling over the years. I did not experience/recognizes these extreme anxiety and panicky feeling until my first yr. of college. These are the yrs. when things began to collapse piece by piece faster than i can imagine as my anxiety continues its extreme.

I began to worry a lot over every little bitty things, like not meeting the deadline for my assignments, don't have enough time to study for all these exams coming all at once, failing the course [which I experience twice], not getting enough sleep, not having time to do anything, not wanting to put my parents down when they spend every pennies they can to pay for my education, fearing that I might have chosen the wrong career path, not following my dream what I love to do/pursue, getting into financial crisis if I don't complete college in 4 yrs., loosing all my close friends if they know that i have anxiety problem, what everyone would think of me if they know i have anxiety problem, would they completely avoid me, scared that i would embarrass myself in front of everyone like in class when people see my anxious fatigue, and the lists can go on...

In results, I becomes extremely anxious over everything, like taking exams in large size classroom with all these observable eyes walking around the room, observing my every action when i'm taking exam, not able to concentrate/ take notes in class b/c i get these feeling like people are looking/observing me, not able to eat in public, restaurant, or around others, when i get the feeling of being observe, not able to communicate with people face to face w/ eye contact b/c i feel people are judging me, uncomfortable sitting by people like in class/car, who i place on my list of inferior, avoid sitting in front of class, and every social events that give me the feeling of being observe/judgment. Basically I avoid [school would be on this list for sure] anything that raises my anxiety to an intense level follow by panic attack.

Overall, I guess I never allow myself to accept these anxiety and panic and allow it to flow through. I tend to fight back at it a lot, which I realize why i develop a lot of these unwanted fatigue, like really bad shakiness. Even after listening to session 3 on the audio, I still caught myself sometimes throughout the week trying to fight these anxious episode. Maybe that why the six steps, deep breathing and etc.. doesn't work sometimes, b/c I'm not allowing myself to have these feeling.

Anyways, this is getting too long, I feel good after typing all these feelings out! I hope who ever read this post of mine don't mind. :>

Eezz

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sun Jan 25, 2009 1:24 am

Thank you for opening up and I'd actually like to put my post into 2 posts for this one.

Ok this post i'm making, I'm doing it while I'm reading this last post Paragraph at a time.

You mentioned you grew up timid and shy and that you avoid drawing attention to yourself. Would you say there is some pain or fear associated with this?

You also mentioned that you are a perfectionist and like pleasing people alot. What is your experience with being recognized by the people you grew up with? The perfectionism and shyness combined also brings to ask, how were you treated as you were growing up? Were you getting the right kind of support and caring that you needed when you were a kid?

Ok now for losing your close friends because you have anxiety. Lets deal with this one right now. Imagine yourself as a very confident, go getter which amazing social skills. Everyone in your class enjoys your company, you are very witty and you recieve love by your friends, your family, heck you have the ability to even make friend's out of strangers in an instant. Anxiety doesn't even exsist in your world anymore, at least not for yourself. Now, you just started collage and you realized one of your really good friends back in your highschool days is there but you have lost touch for many years. This person is struggling to get assignments done, seems to be nervous in social situations, and is feeling really bad about herself. How would you respond to this person? Would you want to end the friendship because they're really struggling? Or would you be more compassionate? How would your close friend's respond to this person?

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sun Jan 25, 2009 1:24 am

Also you speak as if everyone around you is anxiety-free! What were those stats again in regards to anxiety? How many people out of 10 American's have anxiety? How is the likelihood of other people in your class to have anxiety as well?

You mentioned that you have fear that you are being watched by observable eyes that watch your every action. I have a suggestion for you. This is strictly for your benefit but I would definately be intrested to hear the results. First go to a restaurant or a place where you know you can leave if you need to. Take a notepad with you and make a list of people that are looking at you. You could write for instance, the guy with the red hat and black shirt. Then put a time on it....he was looking at me for 5 seconds, 20 minutes. Then try doing this in more challenging areas like class. This exercise will help to change your perspective.

You mentioned about not accepting the feelings. This is very very very common and it's great that you recognize this. Sometimes it is difficult to use the 6 steps. If this because difficult then just work on 2 steps first. Work on acceptance (figure out what started you to have this specific anxiety, was it something that you developed because of a past situation that you now associate fear with?) and breathing or heck if you are alone you can try singing music that is going to force you to exhale longer than inhailing.

Mike