Self Talk

nerveball · Post by **nerveball** » Sun Nov 21, 2010 2:42 pm

hi, I missed you all. Nobody's talking much these days. I'm having my ups and downs but more ups lately. I'm up to session 3. It's helping some but I still get discouraged sometimes cause I can't change all of the bad stuff all at once. How are you all doing. Paiseleegreen don't get too impatient and move too fast. I guess you say look who's talking.

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 1:20 pm

Hi Nerveball--I'm listening to all the CDs because I need to!

They aren't new concepts for me, just a different person and ideas. Plus the reason it was quiet at least for me is that I had a big family get together over the weekend. Involving in laws from out of state.
So I wanted to get some listening in while I could.

So it turned out okay and then I had to recover a bit from late nights and eating too much sugar! Now I'm back to eating just healthy foods. And my anxiety was tested last night and today by DH and DD. So I'm glad I had my protein meals and little sugar.

How are you doing?

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:27 am

To make it easier focus on replacing irrational thoughts with rational ones. Don't try to make yourself feel better, just try to put the lie to the irrational thought. I know its a small shift in perception but it makes a huge diffrence and reduces the expectation of having to make yourself positive. It takes time to become optimistic but it doesn't take as much time to put the lie to the irrational thought.

Mike

cream cheese · Post by **cream cheese** » Thu Nov 25, 2010 2:47 pm

Hey Everyone.....Yes, I agree with Mike....I just moved from my childhood home of 54 years and I think part of my arm was attached to that house when I left!!!!!!! Incredible....I drove up my street and didnt look at my old house at all....I didnt even look back at my friend who was standing in the street seeing me off!!!!!!!GOD, that was mean of me, I was so stressed, so upset with 4 meowing cats going 4 hours with me in the car super early in the morning headed toward the Tappan Zee Bridge LOADED with traffic. YES< I AM HERE NOW and I agree, Its takes time to be optimistic. This world is NOT PERFECT as we all know. BUT MAN O MAN I AM TRYING SO HARD RIGHT NOW. never do this again.....so much work.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cream cheese · Post by **cream cheese** » Thu Nov 25, 2010 2:51 pm

Anyone have any suggestions for me about dealing with this move all alone? Toughest thing I ever did next to my parents passing away. YIKES.....scarey.

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Thu Nov 25, 2010 6:11 pm

Ah Creamcheese, I wish I could be there to welcome you to your new place. I know it is so hard. My prayers are sent your way. That is one thing is have a prayer in your heart or whatever your belief in.

But I am proud of you for doing such a hard and difficult thing. You go GIRL!

You did it! I know I'll be here to cheer you on.

Paislee

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Nov 26, 2010 6:43 am

cream cheese;

Attachments can be very painful! You are so used to something (idea, behavior, emotion, place..etc) and it becomes comfortable. When we don't have that thing anymore it can feel empty. It is a loss! So treat it as a loss. When someone dies you are forced to let go of that attachment like when your parents passed away. Its really hard! Thought replacement is ment to replace irrational thoughts not to replace valid and rational ones. This is why I try to say replace irrational thoughts instead of negative ones with rational ones. You can have rational negative thoughts which create rational negative feelings or you can have irrational negative thoughts that create irrational negative feelings. The same thing is true of the positive ones as well. There are many situations where the positive can be distorted as well.

So What I'm trying to say is grieve. Experience the feeling, let it run its course and then let it go! You are allowed to feel sad it gives the message that you have lost something and you truely have! You can still give yourself reassurance that you'll get over this but the worst thing you can do is try not to have the feeling.

Mike

nerveball · Post by **nerveball** » Fri Nov 26, 2010 5:17 pm

Hi. I am doing great. My Thanksgiving was not the best ever and everybody didn't act perfectly and I didn't get to cook everything I wanted but it was a good Thanksgiving. The little bit of our family that could get together and we ate and reminissed and enjoyed each other's company. It went like it should and the world didn't come to an end and life is great. Obsessing is so much work and so draining. I had a bit of a reprieve from that thanks to the program so I'm grateful. Of course I know that it was actually from God who let this program work for me cause none of this stuff is new to me. God opened my ears and eyes and let it sink in and I am grateful for that. I am grateful for a lot of things, things that I took for granted before. I thank God for one day at a time. Things or at least our thinking will get better if we trust God. Have a happy and content Thanksgiving and always.

nerveball · Post by **nerveball** » Fri Nov 26, 2010 5:25 pm

Hey Cream Cheese guess what. Nomatter how far you go we're still here with you. I hope that's a comforting thought for you. And hey you did what you determined you had to do so that's a goal accomplished in my book, wether it was stressfull or not. You are a conquerer. Keep up the good work and stick with us winners. You will be ok.

creamcheese · Post by **creamcheese** » Tue Nov 30, 2010 5:26 pm

Thanks so much for your kind support gang!!!!
Mike....you are fabulous with your wonderful insight. My thanks to all ...Paisley, and Nerveball too!!!!......its something I wouldnt recommend after being in one place for 54 years and doing it ALL ALONE.....I am out of joint now but slowly adjusting.....I think of the Native American Cherokee Tribe with the Trail of Tears when they were forced out of their homeland across country.....it been a Trail of Tears for me since I left NJ......But its all for the better. Thank you one and all....you guys rock.