These keep me stuck

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sun Jan 10, 2010 4:55 pm

There are a couple things that i realize are keeping me from recovering and i'm hoping i can find something to help me overcome these by posting here.

#1 The program says to not use anxiety as an excuse anymore for anything. Does this mean that if i wanted to work as a waiter I should just get a job doing that even though my memory isn't that good enough to remember the orders of others yet? Or to jump back into being a therapist which is what i went to collage for even though i'm not ready to take an authorative position right now? I kinda doubt that Lucinda had decided to start working on the tapes and her book before she got better.

#2 I feel like I have to be able to handle all my limitations before I recover and when I feel like i cannot face a limitation, than my case is a hopeless one. ex. I feel like if I ever find someone attractive, I have to face my limitation and go talk to them no matter what.

Any ideas to help me get through them?

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:34 pm

Mike
got a question for ya? Are those realistic
expectations? I have some goals for myself too
and I want to acheive them but if I start comparing myself to someone elses recovery or whatever I get totally defeated. I can only do my own personal best. I am sure most therapist
continue to grow even as they are seeing clients. I mean how could they not?
I think you have a keen mind and a good way of looking at things and breaking them down for others. You have in the threads before

I have done myself damage in my recovery process with unrealistic expectations. don't be so hard on yourself.
Take care,

Jill~

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:07 am

no i guess they aren't realistic. I guess i just feel like if i'm not going after the bigger limitations that i'm not doing anything and thus not moving on my road to recovery.

I guess I was comparing myself wasn't I, I do see a should thought there.

Thank you,

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 13, 2010 4:09 pm

Hey Mike! How are u? Listen, I just wanted to tell u that u can do anything u put ur mind to, if u apply the skills needed to be successful in life. The skills would be relaxing and controlling emotions. If you could learn to do those things then ur choices could be unlimited. However, u have to work at them. Now, to answer ur question, first of all, you should not jump into doing things u dont feel comfortable doing right away, especially if u don't have those relaxation skills developed. just keep practicing positive self-talk and lowering your expectations a bit, and u will succeed my friend! Good luck!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 12:35 pm

Hey Rob thank you for the advice. I agree, the skills need to be in place before even attempting to do those things i want to do. I guess I didn't really think about it but even with the skills if i just jump right in, I am bound to get overwhelmed. Things need to be broken down into smaller goals. In fact I think one step might be to join a toastmaster's group and get comfortable with presentations in front of others.

Thanks friend,

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:35 pm

Hi Mike, dont't be so hard on yourself, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. If you are listening to your tapes and doing the workbook assignments, you are a truly motivated person who does want to overcome their anxiety/depression. Give yourself some credit there. Lot's of people out there have the same problems, but they refuse to get help for it and let their fears overtake their lives. You are very brave for realizing that you needed help and placing the order for the tapes and than listening to them.

As for not being ready to be a therapist yet, that's okay this is about you and your goals, but I encourage you to make a plan of where you want to be in a year from now. If this is truly what you want to do with your life that start working towards that goal in baby steps, and give your self positive encouragement along the way.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jan 21, 2010 12:00 pm

Ya, I am my worst enemy.

Thank you for your kind words...I often discredit my efforts and that really isn't all that healthy. It doesn't really help me any.

Your right, big goals like that need to be broken down...I'm just not sure how to break them down.

Well my idea right now is to first move back to the city and then get a part time job. I'll continue to go to the gym and do yoga, hip-hop and maybe try some kick boxing. I'll spend more time with hanging out with friends while I let time pass and practice my relaxation response. When I overcome the generalized anxiety and depression then i'll volunteer as a peer group facilitator to people who have anxiety and depression and hopefully make a job out of that and then get myself back into treating people. I'll go about that by taking a refresher course and possibly get clients from the groups.

Is that what you mean by baby steps or does it need to be broken down further? I'm not even sure if that is really realistic.

Mike