I have had anxiety and panic attacks for as long as I can remember. I am on Zoloft daily and Xanax for when I need some extra help. I don't mind being on the medicine if it helps me. About a month ago, my doctor increased my dose of Zoloft because I have been having a lot of trouble going places. I was getting worried and panic attacks even going to places I have been hundreds of times (ie my friends house, getting my hair cut, stores.) I haven't actually increased my medicine yet because I am even scared to do that. So because of that, I have been suffering with attacks. I have been trying to put the steps in the session to work but it is not helping. Being away from home (anymore than about 20 mins) triggers my attacks. I have become so frustrated with myself now because I had an upsetting moment about 2 weeks ago. I took my sister to an awesome exhibit for her birthday and ended up having to leave half way through because I couldn't calm myself down. We were half way through the exhibit and I just had to get out! I felt so bad and I know she was upset. I was more disappointed in myself more than anything. So, I am freaking out even more because my mom is paying for a weekend girls trip to a beautiful cabin about 2 hours away. She is basically making me go because she knows how it is, and she is scared that if I don't get out more I will never get better. The trip is in 3 weeks and I am scared of loosing it in front of them and I don't want to do that. We have decided that I could drive seperate and I am taking my dog, since that might help me. I am frustrated because I do not want to miss out on life, and that is exactly what I feel like I am doing.
It is so upsetting because just 3 years ago, I drove 8 hours by myself and was just fine. I just want to enjoy myself without feeling like I am going to loose my mind in front of the people that mean the most to me. My mom, who has the same thing, said to me "It's okay if you do. It's just us." I know she understands, and she even told me that she still gets a bit panicky at times. That actually shocked me because I always see her so calm. Thank you for responding. I know I'm not alone, I just don't know how or what my "thing" is yet to calm myself. The breathing helps but when I get to that point where I feel like my vision is tunneled I don't know how to bring myself back to the moment. At that point all I know to do is to run away.