I am on session 2 and am feeling a little lost. The first session I felt fantastic, My mood was so up and I was really positive. But for some reason this week is really hard for me. I have been really irritable and grumpy. I think my kids and fiancee are going to go crazy because of me!
I have tried using good self talk, but I am not sure how to do it. I just feel weird doing it. I guess because I don't really have a good self-esteem. I have generalized anxiety and pretty bad panic attacks Daily!! I feel that I can keep the panic attaks at bay with the 6 steps, but the feeling of being anxious is not subsiding.
I developed this problem about 7 years ago, I have some medical issues, and the doctors are still trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I have high liver levels and my tummy and intestines are always sick. When my guts start to rumble the anxiety kicks in, than making the condition worse. I know that the anxiety feeds the flame, but I get supper panicky when my guts start to turn and I am supposed to be somewhere.
I can not use public restrooms and feel like a terrible person because of it. I know everyone uses the bathroom but for some reason it makes me feel ashamed! I am not sure how to get over this one. I have been seeing a therapist, and he is no help.
The only thing he has done for me is take my money.
I feel hopeless right now because I can keep the panic attacks from getting out of control, but I don't know how to keep the embarrassment from consuming who I am. I suffer greatly from anticipatory anxiety, ever time I have to leave the house I freak out because I start the terrible "what if" thinking. It is always centered around the potty too. I feel stupid because I know everyone goes, but the humiliation of it seems to eat me up.
Does anyone have advise for me? I just feel so alone and lost. I need to find a way to stop beating myself up. Nothing seems to work, and going out and doing it is not an option either, I just end up running home, so I stay within a few miles of home and will not venture much further!!
I need a sympathetic ear or some advise on how to stop torturing myself!
Holly