New Member Needs Help

[Chris10]

I am in week 2 of the program and working on it diligently every day. I wake up anxious and my anxiety escalates to panic as the day progresses. Even though I often only sleep 3-4 hours, that is my only "calm" time. I realize part of my problem is probably anticipatory anxiety, but I'm also possibly suffering withdrawal symptoms (from going of the last of many antidepressants since the dealth of my daughter 13 years ago.) I can't exercise due to health problems, but I'm forcing myself to go somewhere every day and walk just a little. I also find it difficult to get through the relaxation tape without getting tense and restless. Are there any other new members (or anyone) out there with a similar disorder? I need your support!

[clw14k@gmail.com]

I hear ya!!! I am also on session 2 and I am working hard too! I am living in fear of another panic attack, the anticipatory anxiety! I haven't had a panic attack in 2 years, but I start getting myself all worked up in my past panic places... The car, everyday... So stupid!! I've been dealing with this for at least 13 years and I want to change!! Let's focus on the six steps this week and see where it gets us! Good luck to you

[tommy_riley]

Hi Chris10,
My anxiety symptoms breakdown is as follows:
1. Thinking about life issues start to make me mentally anxious - I especially do this at work over the large pile of work items I have each day
2. Once the mental anxiety starts - even if it is subtle, then the physical anxiety symptoms start - tightness in chest.
3. Physical symptoms continue to grow - incredible tightness in chest, nervousness in torso/arms
4. Once the physical symtoms take over it really dehabilitates me mentally - all I can do is focus on the tightness in my chest and wish it away (or try relaxation techniques).
5. The tightness often lasts for several hours - just doesn't seem to go away until after work or whenever I can get to the YMCA and try doing some swimming and jacuzzi time which helps to bring relief

Rarely do I work myself into a full blown panic attack over the physical sensations, but they are still very heavy and always kind of "feel on the verge" over impendining panic attack levels.

I also have physical limitations that prevent me from doing many traditional workout routines (walking and running is out for me) - so I try and get to the pool as often as possible.

I also am taking an anti-depressant (only for about six weeks now) and have been on an anti-anxiety meds (SSRI's, etc.) on and off for the last 10 months. I don't think the anti-anxiety meds are doing what they need to do, so I am planning on tapering off of those soon.

One thing that really seems to help is just staying completely away from any type of benzo med (xanex, valium, ativan, kolanopin, etc.) - once I have those out of my system my physical anxiety symptoms seem to be much less.

[westlynne56]

Interesting what you say, Tommy about the meds. I'm on anti-depressents now for two weeks. I find if I don't take Ativan with it I get really jittery, restless. I'm hoping to taper off the Ativan completely as the anti-depressent kicks in--my doctor seems to think this will happen. Oh, God, I hope she's right!

[westlynne56]

Chris, I can't imagine losing a child, my heart goes out to you. It sounds to me like its the source of your anxiety. Do you feel guilty? You don't have to answer if you don't want to but someone once told me that guilt is about the past and worry is about the future and that if you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, then you're pi#@ing on today.

Having said that, I'm having a time trying to figure out what enlightenment means to me in the present day. Contentment is about as close as I seem to be able to get at. Good place to start, I'm thinking. What about you?

I hope all goes well and you hang in. I listen to the CD's in the car, in the shower before bed and they really seem to help. The journaling, too. Best of luck. Hopefully I'll talk to you in week 16.

[tommy_riley]

westlynne56 - yes, I as well had problems when I stopped taking ativan - it was then pointed out to me that the ativan was probably making the anxiety worse as this drug was never really designed to take it for more than 2-4 weeks. What I found was that my anxiety doubled, even trippled when I would miss a dose of ativan compared to if I was just completely off ativan all the time. I was taking it sporatically thinking that was how I should use it - only when the anxiety got really bad. Once I stopped taking it completely and had it out of my system for about 5-7 days I felt MUCH better physically. I would not recommend going cold turkey like I ddi, especially if you use it every day, and work with your psych doctor for a proper wean off schedule if you think you might want to try stopping. All I can say is I am much better without it.

[Chris10]

Tommy and Westlynne - Thanks for responding to my request for help and support. Funny (not really) how meds have such different effects on every individual. I know many people who have been helped a lot by antidepressants, but I'm not one of them. Tommy, you said you've been on anti-anxiety meds such as SSRI's. SSRI's are actually the newer antidepressants prescribed nowadays. (I'm a retired psychiatric nurse.) You also say the benzodiazepines (which are anti-anxiety meds) such as Xanax, Ativan, Valium, etc. aggrevate your anxiety symptoms.

On the other hand, Westlynne went on an antidepressant two weeks ago (may take several weeks to "kick in".) Ativan helps with her anxiety. I'm like Westlynne. I never had anxiety attacks or insomnia until my doctor prescribed an SSRI antidepressant after my daughter died. He said, however, that my anxiety attacks weren't from the antidepressant (SSRI's are supposed to reduce anxiety,) so he kept trying different ones for years, adding Ambien for insomnia and Xanax along the way.

I finally weaned myself off my latest antidepressant, sent away for the program, and am currently only taking Xanax and Ambien, which I plan on decreasing very gradually. I'm having quite a few "better days" on the program, but still need time and a lot of work.

[Chris10]

Just wanted to add something important to my post about meds from earlier today. The benzodiazepines (Xanax, Ativan, Valium, Clonipin, etc.) are highly addictive and, although they are anti-anxiety drugs, they can have a rebound effect and cause or intensify depression. The body also builds a tolerance to them so that, over time, higher doses are necessary to maintain the same relief from anxiety. Do not stop them or an antidepressant "cold turkey", but wean yourself gradually under the guidance of your doctor.

[Racer23]

Hello I am a new member as well, and I am trying to figure this program at. First how do you post your own thread with out having to reply to a different one like now?

And I understand the constant fear feeling. Im 21 and I have had anxiety since I was about...12ish. Once I realized what was going on they got much worse. i went two years with out having a full panic attack but constantly feared that i would. I had a panick attack a couple weeks ago. But almost everyday I live with always feeling anxious and fighting off the feelings. Im hoping the 6 steps in the 2nd session will really help me get over those feelings and be able to do things again. Keep working hard and Im sure things will improve for you!

[westlynne56]

Hi Racer, I too had some trouble with the threads so I just started looking at the ones that clicked mentally for me and followed up on those. You can choose the option (I think it says view your threads) and it only brings up the threads you've participated in. Maybe someone else has some advice about that?

Thanks all about the info regarding meds. I'm slowly weaning myself off the Ativan as the Anti-depressent kicks in. I'm down to taking .5mg before bedtime only and plan to reduce that amount in the next few weeks. I've been feeling more like my old "normal" self these days and think the anti-depressents are interupting the negative thoughts so that I have a bit of time to say to myself "Hey, that's garbage!" I can't wait to get off meds altogether, but, in reality, am grateful for this mental break. I've recently developed tinnitus and have been totally freaked out about it, instead of learning to manage and cope with it like thousands of people do. It's been tough, I've been overwelmed and I honestly believe I needed the meds to get me through this (along with this great program and counseling, too).

Take care, all. Off to work now.

Lynne