I'm Sick of This Crap...I've had ENOUGH!!!

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 4:15 pm

As a few of you know, I've been spending some time learning more about self-help in other sources. I'm also doing meditation, chanting and I'm doing the one thing that gives me the most pleasure and that's singing.

I've recently learned how to motivate myself to do things in a way that instead of slowly declining in motivation...it is actually growing stronger and stronger everyday and I'm realizing more and more that my life can be so much better. Myself and every one of you people out there have soooooooooo much potential. I have spent the last almost 5 years now with this program and put effort into getting better but still somewhat letting myself get satisfied with having a life that was just "ok" and not "good" or "great" or "Amazing" even. I'M SERIOUS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

What i'm sick of is letting myself be controlled with this anxiety and just cutting myself off of the rest of the world and "waiting" for a day where I feel better. This is absolute crap and I REFUSE to continue living this way. I REFUSE to live my life in fear, I REFUSE to not be healthy and to let my goals rot like something that just recently died. I keep telling myself that I can't do this and I can't do that and I'll never overcome this....BS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to do what I believe to be my purpose on this earth and that is to help people to the best of my extent. So Things definately have to change.

I'm WILL be more deligent with making my food, I just joined a gym and just signed up for a personal trainner, I'm working on becoming better at singing and working on enjoying life. I deserve to have a good life, just like anybody else, Just like all you guys too.

NO MATTER HOW LONG IT IS GOING TO TAKE, I WILL KEEP TRYING UNTIL I GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mike

Shifrah · Post by **Shifrah** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 5:14 pm

You just echoed how I felt after my episode at the bank today. I've been angry and depressed most of the day from it. I can take anxiety, but the ibs thing I experience is just terrible. Sometimes I think it's just an automatic response that I have no control over, that just seems to pop out of nowhere unexpectedly.

Good for you I say. Sometimes you just have to get angry at it and say enough is enough. You are certainly on your way to recovery Mike. God bless you!

r.michelle · Post by **r.michelle** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 5:29 pm

Great Job Mike....when I got to the point you are now at my life changed....being sick and tired of being sick and tired...finally seeing that if I did not take control and change panic anxiety and self medicating were going to decide my life for me....and it was not going to be good...

Keep up the good work...fight the good fight...I can't wait to see what grand changes that are on the way for you....keep us posted...Congrats.

energy · Post by **energy** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:25 pm

YOU GO MIKE!!!!!!

gosh, reading your post just pushes my motivation further...

i think a lot of MY anxiety has a lot to do with letting what "i believe" people are thinking or saying about me - which is total crap - control me which leads to my negative issues....i think this stops me from being more social, getting more involved, taking the lead and you all know eveything else that we hope we could do more of....

everything begins and ends with ourselves...i love that your sick and tired of limiting yourself and as you've mentioned in your post, we all are and we all deserve so much more than what we allow ourselves.....push forward with your new attitude, continue to realize your self worth (i'm working on this myself) and when saying to yourself, "who cares what they're thinking, i'm going for it anyway," don't say it calmly....shout it to yourself with gusto..."WHO CARES WHAT THEY'RE THINKING...I KNOW MY SELF-WORTH AND I'M GONNA DO IT BECAUSE I CAN!!"

....then go ahead and do it, whatever you're gonna do!!!

LisaLisa · Post by **LisaLisa** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:26 am

Hi Mike - Applause to you.

I feel like we are going through this journey together, we always seem to be on this site at the same time.

I was at a really bad place last year at this time and was just sick and tired of being sick and tired when I got this Program. I worked it like a full time job, started therapy, started meditation, started eating right and started to work out every single day.

Your posts are very inspiring - I read them everytime I come to StressCenter.com site.

Good luck to you with all of your endeavors and know that your friends on this site are supporting you 100% and are going through this journey with you, too.

Lisa

sunset34 · Post by **sunset34** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:05 pm

Great job Mike!!

This is the attitude that wins the battle!! Keep up your hard work and determination. I did the same thing you are doing now..... stirring up the gift that is within you to be better, stronger....

Stay strong and don't look back unless it's to remember where you've been.

bna · Post by **bna** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:39 pm

Hey Mike. Great post. Once again I am inspired and challenged to move out of my comfort zone. Not to settle for less than what I have the potential to become.

Before I read your post, I was having a difficult moment guilting over a mistake I made in the past,20 years ago. Worrying over something I did, not having used the best judgement. Like worrying and beating myself up was going to change anything? Then I found your post and it gave me the kick in the pants that I needed.

I am so sick of beating myself up. I am so sick of feeling like I never measure up to this idea I have of myself. I am so sick of the negative voices that seem to be screaming at me that I am never good enough and that I should have known better. I am so sick of living in the past and obessessing over mistakes. I am sick of feeling like crap.

It reminds of the song: "We're not gonna take it, we're not gonna take, we're not gonna take it anymore!

I think I'm going to go sing for awhile. Thanks. Take care and God Bless.

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 12:26 am

Thank you all for your supportive words. Recently I've come to learn that the negative emotions that we have are messages to change our perception or procedure.

-Fear tells us that we need to get prepared

-Hurt feelings tell us that some expectations of ours have not been met.

-Anger feelings tell us that someone has violated one of our rules

-Frustration tells us that our approach isn't working so we need to change it.

-Dissapointment tells us that the expectation we have is probabbly not going to happen unless we change our expectation & make it more appropriate for the situation at hand. Make the goal more appropriate for where you are right now! It's also a major part of anxiety. Ask yourself this...Did you plan to have something in too short a time?

-Guilt/Regret tells us that we've violated one of our own standards and we need to make sure that we do not violate it again.

-Inadequacy tells us that we need to work to grow in whatever field we're looking at right now. Sometimes this can be taken too far though so it is good to ask yourself, Am I really Inadequate or am I having rediculous expectations? Are my rules too harsh?

Finally -Overloaded feelings tell us that we're expecting too much in too short of time. We're expecting everything to be perfect overnight and in that case you need to sit down and write out all the things that are most important to accomplish and put them in order of priority. Take the first thing and do something about it. Then move onto the second. You don't have to do these things all in one day. Spread them out over a couple days or even weeks if you need to.

If you ignore these feelings then they grow more intense. Wouldn't you say? For instance, If you had to write a paper for a class and you had originally had 1 month to write it and then it got down to 2 weeks and you started to get fear but didn't do anything about it...how would you feel if you let it go until the night before you had to hand it in? Would you feel less afraid or more afraid? Would you feel less certain that you can manage that or more certain? Would you have less anxiety or more?

All of these feelings you could be having may not even be realistic at all. In this case you need to ask yourself,what is it that I need to believe in order to feel the way I am now. Is this reasonable for where I am right now? If it isn't then maybe what you need to do is change your perception on things. Maybe your procedure or behavior needs to change.

Part of my frustration with how I'm feeling with always feeling tired, lethargic and having anxiety is that I'm always just "enduring" these emotions or ignoring them and regardless of how intense they are right now, I'm going to work with them. I want my life back!

Mike

sunset34 · Post by **sunset34** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 4:10 am

Mike ...good words!

"Fear tells us that we need to get prepared"

Fear helps us determine what area we need to work on. It is a reminder that it's time to challenge something by confronting the situation while reminding ourselves the truth.

Take time each day to just close your eyes and "let go". Visualize yourself with no more struggles, no more fears...release your muscles and become as limp as possible. Imagine not having to think about this anymore.... just accepting life for what it is. Then take the time to focus on something outside of yourself. Practice being in the "here and now"...whether it is someone you are talking to, a meal you are eating, a movie you are watching....give your full attention to these things. It really helps to give your introspection a break!

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:02 am

Hey sunset thank you. I'm glad to see many of the Veterans are still around.

That let go exercise you mention sounds really rewarding and stress reducing. I actually schedual a time in the day where I do my own personal time to me, I do some chanting, some meditation and visualizing and this would be a perfect addition.

I actually just got fired this morning and so I don't have to think about doing that old job that I hate anymore or the struggles involved and that feeling gives me hope. If I could feel this everytime I meditated on the letting go, I would be very happy

You also mentioned about accept life for what it is. What is your perception on acceptance?

Mike