Empowering Group Program Run-through Part2

[THH]

I did my lesson,
What are you afraid of - The worst! What ever the situation I always think about the worst first. I have a head ache, do I have a tumor. Then obsess about the tumor. Just like in the tape. I have to go to the dentist - Will they tell me I need my teeth all pulled. Someone is sick - will I get it?
When I hear someone elses stress I think more about my own. Or I feel their pain and that scares me.
My doctor told me a long time ago, that I am afraid of death? I said no.... But maybe?

The symptoms,
I too have many of the same ones Mike has, plus clenched teeth and jaw aches ( TMJ) My hands also sweat.

Symptoms while having the attack,
I will shake or tremble, Can't think, dizzy, sometimes I can't swallow. They do very not always the same things. Strong heart beat is always included.

What do I do?
WORRY! What is wrong with me!

#5 in the action assignments was great and I can relate with. Present moment living is a healthy habit. This occurs when you habitually mentally "live" in the future or past. Amen! I don't do this often enough and it was super hard doing it when I went to the dentist. It can be done but I was really wore out after my day of practice. I was wore out in a good way because I stayed in control. But still it was draining.

It has been a challenging week.
We have all tried to avoid the things in our lives that cause us uneasiness. It is hard avoiding and it is hard going though it.

Mike good for you on relaxation cd & walking! That is a great start! Me too I am proud I have listen to it several times now, and I also walk every morning.

Forever young,
Glad your husband goes driving with you. That is nice.

[forever young 06]

good to see you mike was beginning to get worried about you. I have realized I have a lot of baggage that has been buried. I have a lot of insecurities of my child hood that have been dragged into my adult life. I feel like an insecure child so I must grow up. I think we all are learning a lot from these lessons. I am using the relaxing tape every morning and wanted to use every night but haven't been able too. this is a good lesson as I know I need to learn how to talk my way out of a panic attack. this is going to be the big one for me. But I have never tried I always either gritted my teeth and road it out or ran either one doesn't work. we need to get rid of them like Lucinda says.

mike I read a little on the book don't sweat the small things. I need to learn how to not stress over small things. Like the dog, the insurance. we are going to have things happen but don't we can't handle them we can too. slow down breathe don't feel rushed it will be okay.

THH I start at the grave yard and work my way back. I believe I am afraid of death. like when I started having these symptoms they scared me so much and of course they got worse. I am trying to not react with them just let them be. I have had all kinds of blood work done every thing has worked out okay I just need to trust my body and believe I will be okay. hope everyone has a good weekend. keep practicing staying in the precious present moment

[Ninjafrodo2]

Forever Young:
I'm sorry I worried you, It was really heavy for me the last couple of days and I was too upset to post...by the way like you my childhood stuff had been dragged into adulthood...I've also either gritted my teeth and just endured it or ran away and it doesn't work for me either.



I seem to have a hard time connecting with people in a social setting. I believe it is my judgemental thoughts and my spacing out and hyperconscious attention to my body symptoms...does anybody else have this issue? I tend to feel disconnected when i'm around others.


Mike

[THH]

It seams like this has been a hard lesson for all of us. For me it has helped me get in touch with recognizing what my worry and fear do to me, by the way of panic. I can accept the symptoms I feel. I still have some trouble with the cause that keeps me in a state of anxiety. ( I know my thoughts ) Having trouble thinking different ones.
I feel like I want to make the right choices, play out a good hand of cards when my cards are not so good.( at times ) I get stuck making decisions or choosing comforting thoughts when I'm not feeling comfort. It causes me to avoid even when I know I must be brave.

I too Forever sometimes feel like a little kid. I don't want to make adult choices. I feel like running away more that I am grown than when I was a kid! LOL...

Mike : at times I am like that. When my anxiety is really high I tend to feel like that. For me, I usually don't go to social gatherings when I feel that high anxiety/ stress. I tend to stay home, if I relax and get some sleep I usually can feel better the next day.

Coach Chris said to under react to EVERYTHING. That should be a lesson all its own!

I know I am reacting to external anxiety, as both of you are too. This one is a valid reason to feel this type of anxiety. My question is what ways can one learn more coping skills to help with external anxiety? By choosing to be less affected by external events?

[forever young 06]

mike I am glad you are okay. I hope we can recogonize that we can't change the past but we can change the future. I think that is the key. I don't know if any of you have read Claire weekes books. I got one of her books yrs ago this program is based on her books. The one I had was called Peace for Nervous Suffering, she goes in detail about how we do create the panic and our thoughts keep us stuck. she says to accept, float, let time pass. she says we our suffering from sensitization, bewilderment and fear. she says we have the external stress which sets the motion for panic which causes us to look inside for the cause. which sets off the sensitization. we start over reacting, thinking the worst then comes the bewilderment what is wrong with me thinking. Then comes the fear of how we feel. This makes sense if you think about it. what bothers me I have had all this knowledge for yrs. but because it was not an easy way I never did it. I tend to get lost in all the info. I also want a quick fix, it is easier to do nothing take the path of least resistense. I am doing a lot of soul searching and trying to be honest and get to the bottom of this. I have never wanted to face my fears but there is no other way out I am afraid. I went the medication route and the do help but they won't do it all. when you have phobias like I do you have got to face them and learn not to be afraid this is a learned response and we need to Thanksgiving.

[Ninjafrodo2]

Yeah it really does seem like we're all being challenged alot by this lesson but we have gotten through it and I think that in itself is something to be proud of.

One thing that THH mentioned was about the social anxiety and staying away from it if we are in a high stress state...I think that might actually be the best response right now while we are working on building up our skills to cope...I've noticed many times when I went in already in a bad state of mind that it really didn't get much better because these people couldn't make me feel really amazing, thats something that we have to be open to and I can tell you when i'm in such a negative state, I certainly am not open to a wonderful time and no matter how fun the situation is, I likely won't feel good because i'm still stuck in the bad state.

Its also very challenging to choose comforting thoughts especially when you aren't in that state, it can be hard to access the thoughts that make us feel better...I noticed this myself this week but I think in time we can get better at it....There is one author by the name of David D Burns (whom I know I talked about in previous run throughs) that suggested that instead of aiming at making yourself better, to look for the lie in the thought and that in itself makes us feel better. I guess we could do that and then add some kind of comfort.

I also wanted to respond to what forever had mentioned about Claire Weekes...that lady was really smart, I actually read her book "hope and help for your nerves" and like forever mentioned, she does talk about floating through the feelings and yeah it really does help.


Mike

[Ninjafrodo2]

THH and Forever Young;
There are many different ways to cope but I know from past experiences that both the relaxation cd and some of the action assignments really help with this. I'm already starting to see this in this run through. I have actually been doing the meditation for a few weeks before we started this run through and i'm starting to see that i'm not as stressed when I am in situations where I have to wait and i'm more able to live in the present moment and feel ok. I also remember from the first time I ever went through the program that I encountered situations where people were even yelling at me in an aggresive way and I had felt a spike in my anxiety and then it diminished within a minute and I was calm at least with the one person, the other person I was feeling the intense feelings throughout but I was not at a 10 from the 1-10 scale with anxiety/panic.

Forever Young;
The program isn't saying to get out and do the things that scare us at the present moment but I can tell you that with the ammount of momentum we build from what we are doing it will put us in a different state of mind where the situation won't be as scary like it is right now and life seems to have a way of testing us along the way with smaller situations that are less freightening. And honestly, I've been working with this program on and off for 9 years, I have also been gaining alot of information in other areas too but still I hadn't been able to overcome the condition, I'm alot like you in that regard too however habit and emotion are not easily overcome especially not by information alone and facing fears is really scary for me as well, you're not alone there either. I have many phobias and I've been really isolated and I don't have much in the way of support outside of the forums, I hear you on it being a challenge but I know despite all this, I'm going to do it and I can do it and I know you can do it too because both of us already are doing it.



ALL;
By the way I had to make change for a friend because I owed him some money so I went to starbucks and got one of those hot apple spice drinks with caramel in it and I was drinking that while waiting for him in a parking lot and decided to really focus on being in the moment...I actually did notice right when it started to affect me. My mind wasn't as clear, I got a heaviness in my chest and heart palpitations as well as a nervousness, it was really interesting to see it happen in the moment. Also when I did hangout with my friend I decide to keep focusing on being present in those moments with him and I definately felt more connected then I'd normally feel, it was an interesting experiment and I just wanted to share that with you guys.


Mike

[Ninjafrodo2]

Also like last couple run throughs I do like to add music but this time i'm adding pictures as well.

Here is a calming song I found on youtube that works well for bringing peace and calm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnPmoG8Zd78

And here are a few pictures that can be used in that action assignment where they talk about looking at post cards in the morning and focusing on the details.

http://eyesofodysseus.files.wordpress.c ... est-14.jpg

http://wakpaper.com/large/Waterfalls_wallpapers_200.jpg

And we start the new lesson tomorrow....Yay!

Mike

[THH]

Forever Young,
Thanks for the book tip. That sounds like a good book for me to pick up. I liked the explanation. You did an excellent job of reciting this information. And it does make sense to me as well. I at times no much of this and yet I allow myself to make that turn as well. It is going to get better!

Mike,
Glad your feeling better too!
I too have been reading meditations daily, even before we started the program. I have a book called "Night Light" which is a AA book, part of their recovery. But I really can relate to much of it and it makes me feel calm. It gives me a outlet where I can send off my negative thoughts.
I listened to some of David D Burns videos. They are good too. Slightly more complicated for me to understand but what I did get I really liked.

That is great that you did a practice session while waiting for your friend. It sounds like you floated right through it and had some fun! Good for you!!!
I will check out your video & pictures. Thanks~


I am ready to move on to session 3! Here we come...

[Ninjafrodo2]

THH
I don't know much about AA but did you know that 12 step program isn't just reserved for alcoholics? They have it for many different things...possibly even for anxiety. I know a couple of the steps would be great for anybody despite them not being addicted to anything. Also did you know that it was David D Burns who came up with the cognitive distortion categories (all-or-nothing, mental filter, overgeneralization...etc) and yeah some of his stuff can be challenging.

And yeah I did float through it and it was fine, thank you. It seems that some things are fairly easy to deal with but other things are extremely difficult to deal with and often the feelings linger for awhile.



Anyways here is the link for session 3

http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 82&t=30310