Having a difficult time
I'm having a difficult time. I just finnished listening to Session 2. During the session I was in a constant anxiety attack. I've spent the morning crying. I feel angry that I have this condition at all. I don't want to be going through this. I feel an overwhelming deep grief. There is no doubt though that this is what I have suffered with for almost my whole life. I am 38 years old. I'm exausted and don't know how to get through all this. Each day is one long sense of Anxiety and fear with stronger attacks throughout the day.
Hi, Angel38. You can get through this. Ask yourself what are you fearing, what are you worrying about? Are you keeping busy? I find if I keep myself busy and dont dwell on things that I feel myself calming down. I keep telling myself, is this something to get uptight about, can you ignore it, is it all that important that you have to get all anxious about. I know its hard to think these things but you have to be strong. Negative thoughts are not good...Try the relaxation tape, that helps me.....just keep thinking positive...
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Hi Paisleegreen,
Well I did the relaxation tape, which always makes me cry toward the end of it, then I did exercise for about an hour, got cleaned up and went out to run errands. I was anxious and dizzy with really blurry vision the whole time. But the feeling of panic and nausea was not present until I had done almost everything I needed to and was in the car ready to come home from the grocery store. I had been feeling proud that I didn't procrastinate and hide in my room. I had gotten done most of what I set out to do and was so upset to still get whammed in the end with panic and nausea. I know I've a long way to go.....I know I should be patient. I'm weary of suffering in a way I have no words for. I'm not getting younger after all !! I've been an underacheiver and feel that I'm running out of time. I've many goals that are important to me and I am grieving lost time in my life. I want to be well and LIVE fully !!!! Anyway--I came home after the nausea hit instead of stopping at the library to look for From Panic to Power. It will be at the top of the list tomorrow though. I'm still scared and angry and so, so sad and feeling grief, but I'm trying to go forward a step at a time. Thank you for 'listening'.
Take Care
Angel38
Well I did the relaxation tape, which always makes me cry toward the end of it, then I did exercise for about an hour, got cleaned up and went out to run errands. I was anxious and dizzy with really blurry vision the whole time. But the feeling of panic and nausea was not present until I had done almost everything I needed to and was in the car ready to come home from the grocery store. I had been feeling proud that I didn't procrastinate and hide in my room. I had gotten done most of what I set out to do and was so upset to still get whammed in the end with panic and nausea. I know I've a long way to go.....I know I should be patient. I'm weary of suffering in a way I have no words for. I'm not getting younger after all !! I've been an underacheiver and feel that I'm running out of time. I've many goals that are important to me and I am grieving lost time in my life. I want to be well and LIVE fully !!!! Anyway--I came home after the nausea hit instead of stopping at the library to look for From Panic to Power. It will be at the top of the list tomorrow though. I'm still scared and angry and so, so sad and feeling grief, but I'm trying to go forward a step at a time. Thank you for 'listening'.
Take Care
Angel38
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Hi Angel,
I use to grieve just the lost of part of the summer with my Grandchildren and Daughter in law, because I was unable to go to the waterpark I had passes to. It was later in the summer that I was finally able to go back to the park and over come my fears after my first panic attack in May.
So you are doing great, and it is never too late to do things. I at 56, feel regret at so many things, but realize this is my life and I look at just the simple things I've accomplished with the talents I have and the time and opportunity.
Sometimes, maybe our goals are unrealistic. This was a realization I made w/ my psychologist that I probably will not start a business that I was all eager to begin such as propagating plants and selling them.
Since I had the panic attack and found out that my family really doesn't nor is helping me with this goal of mine, that I'm letting it go.
I can't do it all by myself nor have the energy right now. That doesn't mean that after thinking about things and gradually getting back into the working mode, that I can't still try my hand at selling some plants that I propagate but not at the vision I had envisioned myself doing.
We, DH and I have a business that we started 20 years ago, and that will continue as DH slowly stops working in it and my adult children take over.
I have no interest in working in it. It isn't conducive for my physical body to do and I don't want to do the bookwork either. I am doing volunteer work as I have time and energy. So that gives me some satisfaction and some form of social life.
38 is very young...and with technology...we will probably live longer than we thought we could. So hang in there...look forward to today and what you can do...that is what I have to do these days due to my newfound anxiety.
Hang in there! Paislee
I use to grieve just the lost of part of the summer with my Grandchildren and Daughter in law, because I was unable to go to the waterpark I had passes to. It was later in the summer that I was finally able to go back to the park and over come my fears after my first panic attack in May.
So you are doing great, and it is never too late to do things. I at 56, feel regret at so many things, but realize this is my life and I look at just the simple things I've accomplished with the talents I have and the time and opportunity.
Sometimes, maybe our goals are unrealistic. This was a realization I made w/ my psychologist that I probably will not start a business that I was all eager to begin such as propagating plants and selling them.
Since I had the panic attack and found out that my family really doesn't nor is helping me with this goal of mine, that I'm letting it go.
I can't do it all by myself nor have the energy right now. That doesn't mean that after thinking about things and gradually getting back into the working mode, that I can't still try my hand at selling some plants that I propagate but not at the vision I had envisioned myself doing.
We, DH and I have a business that we started 20 years ago, and that will continue as DH slowly stops working in it and my adult children take over.
I have no interest in working in it. It isn't conducive for my physical body to do and I don't want to do the bookwork either. I am doing volunteer work as I have time and energy. So that gives me some satisfaction and some form of social life.
38 is very young...and with technology...we will probably live longer than we thought we could. So hang in there...look forward to today and what you can do...that is what I have to do these days due to my newfound anxiety.
Hang in there! Paislee
Hi Paislee,
Everything you wrote about is what the coach from StressCenter spoke to me about yesterday!! I am focused this week on setting "appropriate" expectations and goals for my present situation. You are right that it is near impossible to be successful and happy without the support of others. I do not have a family support system, but right now I have a Very loving, supportive, wonderful man in my life !! It is part of what drives me to live more fully I have done a little volunteering over the last few years too. It sounds like you are getting a lot out of the program. Thank you for responding.
Take care !!
Angel38
Everything you wrote about is what the coach from StressCenter spoke to me about yesterday!! I am focused this week on setting "appropriate" expectations and goals for my present situation. You are right that it is near impossible to be successful and happy without the support of others. I do not have a family support system, but right now I have a Very loving, supportive, wonderful man in my life !! It is part of what drives me to live more fully
I have done a little volunteering over the last few years too. It sounds like you are getting a lot out of the program. Thank you for responding.Take care !!
Angel38
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
[Angel,
Hello, I am about 8 weeks into the program. this post sounds so much stronger. Isn't it amazing how after a low day, a strong successful day arises, and then another and another. I also have a coach, that was such a great decision for me. Knowing that on Monday night I have someone to talk to sharing my success, and my fears. she has a way of injecting truth, offerin skills to help cope with an upcoming event. Reality, reality, that is what we need, getting rid all the distortions. We have so much to look forward to, don't we. clear minds, strong minds peaceful and productive minds. I find exercise and the relaxation tape to help. In the beginning I though the relaxation tape would only make me sleepy...It calms me down, and clears my mind. I am ablet to think so much clearer when I am calmed by it. Have a wonderful day tomorrow. May God Bless You!!
Hello, I am about 8 weeks into the program. this post sounds so much stronger. Isn't it amazing how after a low day, a strong successful day arises, and then another and another. I also have a coach, that was such a great decision for me. Knowing that on Monday night I have someone to talk to sharing my success, and my fears. she has a way of injecting truth, offerin skills to help cope with an upcoming event. Reality, reality, that is what we need, getting rid all the distortions. We have so much to look forward to, don't we. clear minds, strong minds peaceful and productive minds. I find exercise and the relaxation tape to help. In the beginning I though the relaxation tape would only make me sleepy...It calms me down, and clears my mind. I am ablet to think so much clearer when I am calmed by it. Have a wonderful day tomorrow. May God Bless You!!