I will recover, I am recovering,Each and everything I do makes me more recovered. I will do everything I possibly can to recover in the healthiest way because I refuse to live a life based on fear, anxiety, depression anymore.
Hi everyone,
I used part of the 6 steps sucessfully yesterday. I started to ride my horse and I started to fear my fear causing him fear, but I used the deep breathing and positive self talk, and I was able to consciously relax some of my muscles which I know I was only able to do because of practicing the relaxation cd.
I was able to walk and trot with him, but when I tried to canter I know I got real tense and so did he so I didn't try again. At first I was disappointed in myself, but then I remembered to celabrate the small successes, don't dwell on what I wasn't able to do.
Today I went to a wine tasting with a friend. She picked me up and drove. It is very hard for me to be a passenger in a car. I would rather drive myself, as long as its not on the highway. But she offered to drive so I accepted. It was only about 5 miles. I was very tense the whole way, and used the 6 steps, at first thought I felt it didn't work much but now that I think about it my anxiety didn't increse so that's good- no full blown panic. Once I did say "look out" and start to direct her driving, but then I apologised for being a"back seat driver" sitting in the front seat and we both laughed a little.
I started to worry about the ride home while we were there, but each time I caught myself I replaced it with a prayer and the thought of myself being a child in the arms of Jesus. Have you ever watched a child in a car seat? They aren't worried at all about the drive.
I struggle with depression as well as anxiety. It's been especially hard since I made the decision and euthanized my 25 year old horse suffering with painfull feet. I hadn't felt up to riding my younger ones( I have 2 left) and I was very angry at myself for not riding them, telling myself that I was wasting the time I had with them before they die too. Then I realized that I was putting unnecessary pressure on myself- so I spent one evening just combing the mane and tail of one of them and enjoying just being with them.
I have also found a good book called "Praying God's Word" by Beth Moore It has positve thoughts to battle depression and I think it helps me.
I'm getting really bored with the relaxation cd, I need to find a new one for variety.
Who do I want to become? I want to be "comfortable in my own skin" someone who likes myself, doesn't hide myself from others or try to change for other people.I want to be able to drive anywhere, anytime. I want to ride my horses with confidence and the feeling of partnership and fun I used to feel.
THH Thanks for sharing about the beet cupcakes. I think it was great how you accepted that you had already eaten it and if you died from this after all you'd been through- so be it. I remember one day I had a panic attack on a walk and then I thought-this would be a beautiful place to die, so bring it on panic, and the panic immediatly left.
Thanks everyone for posting, it helps to know we are all supporting each others efforts and we are not alone in our sruggles.
The Challenge...Lesson 2
"I am going to recover, I am recovering, and each and everything I do brings me closer to freedom from my self-imposed limitations. I will do everything I possibly can to recover in the healthiest way because I refuse to live a life based on false fear, anxiety, and depression."
I'm afraid that in this thread you guys all get to see the real me. In my other posts throughout the site, I try to filter out many of my negative thoughts and frame my experiences in a positive light. I find that there are so many negative posts on the site that I try to balance them by keeping mine mostly positive. But for this challenge, I need to fully express myself. I suppose part of this is my need to feel liked and accepted. I don't want to push people away by complaining.
DEALING WITH ANXIETY AND PANIC
As I mentioned in my prior "challenge" post, I was having trouble with my anxiety throughout Wednesday. By early morning Thursday, it had morphed into depression and an overwhelming sense of sadness. While I tried to look deeper into my feelings, I was having difficulty determining what was causing these feelings to come out.
The only thing that came to mind was that I had been dwelling on my past while trying to fall asleep Wednesday night, particularly difficult experiences I had in junior high school. However, I don't think this really was the root of the feelings. The thoughts were too superficial and didn't really bring out any profound emotions. I've noticed that I seem to be able to help other people work through their emotions yet have a difficult time sorting through my own. It's as if I've become so effective at hiding and suppressing them that I create a barrier which prevents me from fully understanding the source or cause. It wouldn't surprise me if much of my anxiety and depression is actually other emotions that I'm not allowing to be released in their true form so they come out in these negative ways.
Fortunately, by Friday afternoon the depression had mostly lifted and the general anxiety had dissipated. I was able to go out driving and make it all the way to my office with little anxiety. However I didn't go into the building because by this time I was emotionally drained and just didn't have the energy to face work.
As a consequence, my hourly billings this week were only about a third of my goal and all of the hours I put in were from home. I seem to reach certain points where my progress plateaus, which is where I feel I'm at right now. Part of the issue is that I feel like I'm being asked to do more than I am capable of right now. Again, my desire to please is taking over and I find myself agreeing to do things or meet goals that may beyond my abilities. The result is more anxiety and less success. I would be wiser to just admit my short-comings and aim for more realistic goals. I need to learn better how to say no.
POSITIVE THOUGHT REPLACEMENT
1) I have to meet everyone's expectations to be successful. --> I recognize that I often will allow others to set expectations or goals for me in an effort to please them. It is my obligation to be clear about what I think I am truly capable of and to recognize that agreeing to goals that are beyond my abilities is counter productive.
2) If I haven't done everything perfectly, then I've failed. --> That is a distorted belief based on all or nothing thinking. Very few things are truly black or white. I can achieve success even if I only partially meet my goals and expectations. Just making an effort is an accomplishment.
3) I'm going to lose my job if I don't get my hours up quickly. --> That may be true, but it doesn't help me to create additional pressure by worrying about the future. I can best serve my company and myself by focusing on what I am capable of right now. My best will have to be good enough because I can't offer any more than that.
WHO I WANT TO BE
I want to radiate self-confidence and contentment. I want the calm and satisfaction I feel inside to show though my body language and facial expressions. I want to know where I'm going and enjoy every moment in the journey to get there. I want to be able to walk into a room and visibly positively change the atmosphere through my self belief, internal joy, and excitement for life. I want people to feel better about themselves just by being near me.
I'm afraid that in this thread you guys all get to see the real me. In my other posts throughout the site, I try to filter out many of my negative thoughts and frame my experiences in a positive light. I find that there are so many negative posts on the site that I try to balance them by keeping mine mostly positive. But for this challenge, I need to fully express myself. I suppose part of this is my need to feel liked and accepted. I don't want to push people away by complaining.
DEALING WITH ANXIETY AND PANIC
As I mentioned in my prior "challenge" post, I was having trouble with my anxiety throughout Wednesday. By early morning Thursday, it had morphed into depression and an overwhelming sense of sadness. While I tried to look deeper into my feelings, I was having difficulty determining what was causing these feelings to come out.
The only thing that came to mind was that I had been dwelling on my past while trying to fall asleep Wednesday night, particularly difficult experiences I had in junior high school. However, I don't think this really was the root of the feelings. The thoughts were too superficial and didn't really bring out any profound emotions. I've noticed that I seem to be able to help other people work through their emotions yet have a difficult time sorting through my own. It's as if I've become so effective at hiding and suppressing them that I create a barrier which prevents me from fully understanding the source or cause. It wouldn't surprise me if much of my anxiety and depression is actually other emotions that I'm not allowing to be released in their true form so they come out in these negative ways.
Fortunately, by Friday afternoon the depression had mostly lifted and the general anxiety had dissipated. I was able to go out driving and make it all the way to my office with little anxiety. However I didn't go into the building because by this time I was emotionally drained and just didn't have the energy to face work.
As a consequence, my hourly billings this week were only about a third of my goal and all of the hours I put in were from home. I seem to reach certain points where my progress plateaus, which is where I feel I'm at right now. Part of the issue is that I feel like I'm being asked to do more than I am capable of right now. Again, my desire to please is taking over and I find myself agreeing to do things or meet goals that may beyond my abilities. The result is more anxiety and less success. I would be wiser to just admit my short-comings and aim for more realistic goals. I need to learn better how to say no.
POSITIVE THOUGHT REPLACEMENT
1) I have to meet everyone's expectations to be successful. --> I recognize that I often will allow others to set expectations or goals for me in an effort to please them. It is my obligation to be clear about what I think I am truly capable of and to recognize that agreeing to goals that are beyond my abilities is counter productive.
2) If I haven't done everything perfectly, then I've failed. --> That is a distorted belief based on all or nothing thinking. Very few things are truly black or white. I can achieve success even if I only partially meet my goals and expectations. Just making an effort is an accomplishment.
3) I'm going to lose my job if I don't get my hours up quickly. --> That may be true, but it doesn't help me to create additional pressure by worrying about the future. I can best serve my company and myself by focusing on what I am capable of right now. My best will have to be good enough because I can't offer any more than that.
WHO I WANT TO BE
I want to radiate self-confidence and contentment. I want the calm and satisfaction I feel inside to show though my body language and facial expressions. I want to know where I'm going and enjoy every moment in the journey to get there. I want to be able to walk into a room and visibly positively change the atmosphere through my self belief, internal joy, and excitement for life. I want people to feel better about themselves just by being near me.
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
THH -
That's too funny about the beet cupcakes! I'm with you; who puts beets in their cupcakes? But as someone who has had major food allergies for most of my life, I can certainly understand your thoughts. Fortunately I've outgrown most of my allergies and am only still allergic to peanuts and all tree nuts. That's a big improvement from when I was a young child and could only eat three things: chicken, zucchini, and pears. Ironically, I still like all three of those foods even though they comprised my entire diet for several years. But to expand on what Lindalee said, what better way to die than enjoying a delicious pastry? Mmmm!
Lindalee -
I'm so sorry to hear that you finally had to put your horse down. Remember that you're grieving right now. You may not feel like doing certain things during this process. But like panic, grief also passes with time. You'll be able to enjoy your animals again soon.
Hope -
You can only do your best. If you don't make it to your in-laws this time, then there's always next time. But don't give up yet. You may find that you are fully able to cope with your anxiety this Saturday and will have a wonderful time with your family.
Mike -
You're such a slave driver, LOL! Just kidding of course. I'm thankful that you're helping to keep us all motivated and on track.
Regarding your observation on Session 2 about letting a panic attack run it's course, I think this is thought behind steps 1 and 2 of the 6-step process for dealing with anxiety. When we stop fighting and just let it happen, it takes a huge amount of the energy away from the panic. It's akin to saying "I don't care; do your worst!" When we can do that, chances are anxiety will no longer be running our lives.
Lisa -
I hope you join us. You don't have to share an more than you feel comfortable. And remember that we're here to encourage you, not judge you.
That's too funny about the beet cupcakes! I'm with you; who puts beets in their cupcakes? But as someone who has had major food allergies for most of my life, I can certainly understand your thoughts. Fortunately I've outgrown most of my allergies and am only still allergic to peanuts and all tree nuts. That's a big improvement from when I was a young child and could only eat three things: chicken, zucchini, and pears. Ironically, I still like all three of those foods even though they comprised my entire diet for several years. But to expand on what Lindalee said, what better way to die than enjoying a delicious pastry? Mmmm!
Lindalee -
I'm so sorry to hear that you finally had to put your horse down. Remember that you're grieving right now. You may not feel like doing certain things during this process. But like panic, grief also passes with time. You'll be able to enjoy your animals again soon.
Hope -
You can only do your best. If you don't make it to your in-laws this time, then there's always next time. But don't give up yet. You may find that you are fully able to cope with your anxiety this Saturday and will have a wonderful time with your family.
Mike -
You're such a slave driver, LOL! Just kidding of course. I'm thankful that you're helping to keep us all motivated and on track.
Regarding your observation on Session 2 about letting a panic attack run it's course, I think this is thought behind steps 1 and 2 of the 6-step process for dealing with anxiety. When we stop fighting and just let it happen, it takes a huge amount of the energy away from the panic. It's akin to saying "I don't care; do your worst!" When we can do that, chances are anxiety will no longer be running our lives.
Lisa -
I hope you join us. You don't have to share an more than you feel comfortable. And remember that we're here to encourage you, not judge you.
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
I will recover, I am recovering, each and everything I do makes me more recovered. I will do everything I possibly can to recover in the most thealthiest way because I refuse to live a life based on fear, anxiety and depression anymore. How I did things in the past doesn't work anymore
By the way guys this quote above will change as we progress through the program just to add variety and keep things from getting old.
Lindalee
That is great that you used the 6 steps Lindalee and that you changed your response to how you didn't reach your goal of cantering and realized the partial achievement of it. Great job, I bet you feel really good about yourself for that. You also worked on your limitation with traveling in a car and being the passenger and that is really awesome! Facing your limitations is one of the hardest things to do and you did it! You are making really great progress and I definately see a brighter future for you. You're taking action to face your anxiety and your depression as well I see.
sometimes it is necessary to switch it up a little with the relaxation. I like to listen to meditations from Meditainment.com. Well they have some of their cds at local bookstores. Its great because you can go on so many diffrent journeys...to a tropical island, in the ocean, on the moon, to a lagoon, flying in the sky, in a log cabin in the middle of the forest and you can even be a tree. Some of these meditations even have progressive muscle relaxation as well but lack on the breathing techniques which is fine you can practice breathing on your own when listening. That might help you.
Thank you for posting and sharing your progress and efforts with us and strengthening our motivation and group energy. You are inspiring!
Searunner
Great so then you don't have to hold that back and you'll get to see that even if you show your negativity, you will still be liked and accepted. You wouldn't scare most people away by complaining unless you spent all of your time complaining to those people and then well you'd probabbly attract more complainers into your life. Its good to vent and complain every once in awhile, it helps to release some of that built up stress. Yes its better not to create it in the first place but with some things you just can't help it. I'm sorry that you went back into the depression state on thursday.
I'm starting to find that those kinds of dwelling on the past situations are just distractions as well. What time did you get to bed that night? What tv shows were you watching? Was there anything really stressful that happened that day that wasn't resolved? Any stressful situation that might be coming up in the near future? Did you not do something you wanted to get done that day? Or something you were forcing yourself into when you were exhausted? Or perhaps its because you feel you are plateauing with your progress and telling yourself negative things about recovering.
Its great you came out of it, the depression on friday i mean. Not so good to agree with doing too much work in order to please others. Your worth is permenant, you don't have to earn the respect and love of other people. I still like you exactly the way you are no matter if you make amazing accomplishments or not. People like you for your personality and not as much for your accomplishments. yeah aiming for goals that you can handle is better especially if your planning to recover.
Great description of who you want to be and great thought replacements. I also wanted to point out that with perfection it is a fixed idea. Perfectionism itself is like expecting going from point a to point b with a teleporter and then there is nothing after B. Wouldn't it be more exciting to always grow with skills and get better and more satisfied when you grow and improve?
Slave driver..lol ya! You should have seen me before. Well this isn't an easy thing and I understand very well about avoidance behaviors, second gains and discouragement. I'm not willing to just let you guys fall back into that same suffering so easily that could just lead to another year, 2 years, 10 years of this same suffering! No we want to be better then this.
Yeah i guess you're right about that. I was just thinking about how it was avoiding the step about distracting oneself.
Mike
By the way guys this quote above will change as we progress through the program just to add variety and keep things from getting old.
Lindalee
That is great that you used the 6 steps Lindalee and that you changed your response to how you didn't reach your goal of cantering and realized the partial achievement of it. Great job, I bet you feel really good about yourself for that. You also worked on your limitation with traveling in a car and being the passenger and that is really awesome! Facing your limitations is one of the hardest things to do and you did it! You are making really great progress and I definately see a brighter future for you. You're taking action to face your anxiety and your depression as well I see.
sometimes it is necessary to switch it up a little with the relaxation. I like to listen to meditations from Meditainment.com. Well they have some of their cds at local bookstores. Its great because you can go on so many diffrent journeys...to a tropical island, in the ocean, on the moon, to a lagoon, flying in the sky, in a log cabin in the middle of the forest and you can even be a tree. Some of these meditations even have progressive muscle relaxation as well but lack on the breathing techniques which is fine you can practice breathing on your own when listening. That might help you.
Thank you for posting and sharing your progress and efforts with us and strengthening our motivation and group energy. You are inspiring!
Searunner
Great so then you don't have to hold that back and you'll get to see that even if you show your negativity, you will still be liked and accepted. You wouldn't scare most people away by complaining unless you spent all of your time complaining to those people and then well you'd probabbly attract more complainers into your life. Its good to vent and complain every once in awhile, it helps to release some of that built up stress. Yes its better not to create it in the first place but with some things you just can't help it. I'm sorry that you went back into the depression state on thursday.
I'm starting to find that those kinds of dwelling on the past situations are just distractions as well. What time did you get to bed that night? What tv shows were you watching? Was there anything really stressful that happened that day that wasn't resolved? Any stressful situation that might be coming up in the near future? Did you not do something you wanted to get done that day? Or something you were forcing yourself into when you were exhausted? Or perhaps its because you feel you are plateauing with your progress and telling yourself negative things about recovering.
Its great you came out of it, the depression on friday i mean. Not so good to agree with doing too much work in order to please others. Your worth is permenant, you don't have to earn the respect and love of other people. I still like you exactly the way you are no matter if you make amazing accomplishments or not. People like you for your personality and not as much for your accomplishments. yeah aiming for goals that you can handle is better especially if your planning to recover.
Great description of who you want to be and great thought replacements. I also wanted to point out that with perfection it is a fixed idea. Perfectionism itself is like expecting going from point a to point b with a teleporter and then there is nothing after B. Wouldn't it be more exciting to always grow with skills and get better and more satisfied when you grow and improve?
Slave driver..lol ya! You should have seen me before. Well this isn't an easy thing and I understand very well about avoidance behaviors, second gains and discouragement. I'm not willing to just let you guys fall back into that same suffering so easily that could just lead to another year, 2 years, 10 years of this same suffering! No we want to be better then this.
Yeah i guess you're right about that. I was just thinking about how it was avoiding the step about distracting oneself.
Mike
Last edited by NinjaFrodo on Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
Mike,
Great work in helping everyone! I believe you have reached a portion of your initial goal...you are inspiring others!
I'm going through the program again too.
I've noticed some of the worst panic attacks I've had have been when I've awaken from a nap during the day. I know in in the CD's both Lucinda and Pat mention strong anxiety after waking up from naps. Has anyone noticed this?
Great work everyone! I sense your energy!
Joe
Great work in helping everyone! I believe you have reached a portion of your initial goal...you are inspiring others!
I'm going through the program again too.
I've noticed some of the worst panic attacks I've had have been when I've awaken from a nap during the day. I know in in the CD's both Lucinda and Pat mention strong anxiety after waking up from naps. Has anyone noticed this?
Great work everyone! I sense your energy!
Joe
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
I will recover, I am recovering, each and everything I do makes me more recovered. I will do anything possible to recover in the healthiest of ways because I refuse to live life based on anxiety and depression anymore. The way I did things in the past doesn't work anymore
JJ
Hey good to see you here. I'm glad i'm inspiring others and I wonder how many people have I inspired in the 6 years i've spent posting on these forums.
You mean when pat said she woke up with the exact same feelings after a nap when she had her first panic attack? I wake up with strong anxiety from a nap or a sleep.
JJ
Hey good to see you here. I'm glad i'm inspiring others and I wonder how many people have I inspired in the 6 years i've spent posting on these forums.
You mean when pat said she woke up with the exact same feelings after a nap when she had her first panic attack? I wake up with strong anxiety from a nap or a sleep.
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
JJ -
Yes, I experience that as well. I've even noticed a correlation with whether I had recently eaten before napping, which for me tends to make awaking worse (more likely to panic). I'm not sure what the cause is, but I suspect that it has something to do with the time you spend as you are waking between when you begin to stir and when you are fully awake. I find that during that time period, which feels like it lasts a long time but probably is just a few minutes, I'm only partially aware of my surroundings and feel out of control of my mind and body. I suspect it's that feeling of loss of control that is causing me to panic. But as soon as I become fully awake, I calm down within ten or fifteen minutes.
Jamie
Yes, I experience that as well. I've even noticed a correlation with whether I had recently eaten before napping, which for me tends to make awaking worse (more likely to panic). I'm not sure what the cause is, but I suspect that it has something to do with the time you spend as you are waking between when you begin to stir and when you are fully awake. I find that during that time period, which feels like it lasts a long time but probably is just a few minutes, I'm only partially aware of my surroundings and feel out of control of my mind and body. I suspect it's that feeling of loss of control that is causing me to panic. But as soon as I become fully awake, I calm down within ten or fifteen minutes.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Mike, I was thinking today about what a good day I was having. I had 2 Thurs & fri that were not so. One night I couldn't sleep, and you know how that goes! But today I realized why do I have such a good feeling? I came to realize I did something I had a real love for, and that was riding my horse. It was cool, and I was out in nature ( where I feel my best ) by myself, just trees and open feilds cool breeze blowing. Just hooves traveling in a rhythmic gait down a trail.
I thought about how I have not had much of a drive for much, just kinda existing. I think for me anyhow, finding something that you love, as a hobby, not work, but something to enjoy maybe another key in having the life we wish for. It will be different for each of us, as we all live and like different enviorments.
You are doing a great job in keeping us all motivated!
I like your thinking of ways to change your routine. Esp. if you think you are getting anxious about doing it. Remember baby steps, I'm not sure what you like to do? ( I know hip hop, but do you have a hobby? Do you like pets? can you have something to get into like fish? Having a tank can be really fun, you can create what ever kind you may enjoy? Its soothing to watch too. I am a nature person, so I really only know that life. I've been a country girl all but 11 years, and when I lived in the city I was dreaming of the place I could not wait to leave. I like it dark at night to see the stars.
I also like the idea you had about talking to Ellen. You should do that. Thats not a hobby, but it may get you some coins and your very good at all this. Good goal!
My mouse broke and I'm using this tap pad. ewe...I don't like it!
Lindalee, So sorry to hear of your loss with your old horse. Thats a tuff part of being a care giver to our loved critters. It was a good thing eventhough it was such a hard thing to do.
So glad you climbed back into the saddle too! I had some tuff times as well with riding. After my back surgery I had a 3 year old and I was so scared to ride again. I had olympic moments, where I would just sit on him. I'd touch his ears from his back and lean back and pet his rump. I eneded up sending him to my friend who trains horses for a 30 day tune up. I would go down and watch him ride, and cry as I was so afraid if I'd come off I could be in a chair the rest of my life. Then one day, I just had it, climbed back on and worked through it. You will to, you were out there brushing and caring for them. Thats a love of your too. Maybe just go slow and let your body relax. Just sit. Maybe go for walks.
I love your goals, being comfortable in your own skin. I like that one too. Changing other people is another good one. We know that can't be done! Thanks for sharing.
Searunner,So glad you are being the real you! Positive and negitive! Thats how we work it out.
Dwelling in the past esp. at bed time is a sure way to set your self up for depression and anxiety!
I believe it is always easy to help others because your not emotionally involved. Its hard to peel off all the emotional layers. But I do believe when you ask you will recieve your answer and sometimes we need to be still and the answers just come. Maybe they are showing you all kinds of ways your just not looking with soft eyes. ( I call hard eyes when we sit and stare at a vase on the table, we see nothing but the vase. If we use soft eyes we see the vase and the table, maybe a picture and chairs the whole room.) Just some of my thoughts?
I like your thought replacements!!!And who you are!
I thought about how I have not had much of a drive for much, just kinda existing. I think for me anyhow, finding something that you love, as a hobby, not work, but something to enjoy maybe another key in having the life we wish for. It will be different for each of us, as we all live and like different enviorments.
You are doing a great job in keeping us all motivated!
I like your thinking of ways to change your routine. Esp. if you think you are getting anxious about doing it. Remember baby steps, I'm not sure what you like to do? ( I know hip hop, but do you have a hobby? Do you like pets? can you have something to get into like fish? Having a tank can be really fun, you can create what ever kind you may enjoy? Its soothing to watch too. I am a nature person, so I really only know that life. I've been a country girl all but 11 years, and when I lived in the city I was dreaming of the place I could not wait to leave. I like it dark at night to see the stars.
I also like the idea you had about talking to Ellen. You should do that. Thats not a hobby, but it may get you some coins and your very good at all this. Good goal!
My mouse broke and I'm using this tap pad. ewe...I don't like it!
Lindalee, So sorry to hear of your loss with your old horse. Thats a tuff part of being a care giver to our loved critters. It was a good thing eventhough it was such a hard thing to do.
So glad you climbed back into the saddle too! I had some tuff times as well with riding. After my back surgery I had a 3 year old and I was so scared to ride again. I had olympic moments, where I would just sit on him. I'd touch his ears from his back and lean back and pet his rump. I eneded up sending him to my friend who trains horses for a 30 day tune up. I would go down and watch him ride, and cry as I was so afraid if I'd come off I could be in a chair the rest of my life. Then one day, I just had it, climbed back on and worked through it. You will to, you were out there brushing and caring for them. Thats a love of your too. Maybe just go slow and let your body relax. Just sit. Maybe go for walks.
I love your goals, being comfortable in your own skin. I like that one too. Changing other people is another good one. We know that can't be done! Thanks for sharing.
Searunner,So glad you are being the real you! Positive and negitive! Thats how we work it out.
Dwelling in the past esp. at bed time is a sure way to set your self up for depression and anxiety!
I believe it is always easy to help others because your not emotionally involved. Its hard to peel off all the emotional layers. But I do believe when you ask you will recieve your answer and sometimes we need to be still and the answers just come. Maybe they are showing you all kinds of ways your just not looking with soft eyes. ( I call hard eyes when we sit and stare at a vase on the table, we see nothing but the vase. If we use soft eyes we see the vase and the table, maybe a picture and chairs the whole room.) Just some of my thoughts?
I like your thought replacements!!!And who you are!
"I am going to recover, I am recovering, and each and everything I do brings me closer to freedom from my self-imposed limitations. I will do everything possible to recover in the healthiest way because I refuse to live a life based on false fear, anxiety, and depression."
DEALING WITH ANXIETY AND PANIC
Success! I was out bicycling today, which is another source of anxiety for me. It's not the cycling itself, but rather that fear that I'm getting too far from home and won't be able to get back or get help. As I neared the place where I typically turn around, I could feel the anxiety starting to build. My chest started to burn, which in the past has been a reliable sign that my anxiety is turning into panic.
Automatically, my thoughts turned to "what am I going to do now?" and "how am I going to get out of this?". As soon as I realized where my thoughts were headed I mentally stopped them and instead focused on letting the panic happen. I told myself that I was going through a natural process and given a few minutes the feelings would pass. Once I made the change in thoughts, I could feel my confidence building and the fears receding. Within a matter of minutes I went from level 8 anxiety to level 1 or 2. I even started to think I should go back and experience it again. Perhaps I was getting a bit big-headed!
SELF HEALING
Before my ride, I decided to combine my meditation with my stretching. So while I was warming up my muscles, I concentrated on calm thoughts and steady breathing. I found the experience to be both relaxing and invigorating at the same time. Plus the activity of stretching helped to keep me from becoming tired during the process. It was very much like yoga.
POSITIVE THOUGHT REPLACEMENT
1) I have to experience full-blown panic to recover. --> As I found today, I don't have to reach the top of the anxiety scale to use my skills and see that I can handle anxiety. There may be times that I do fully panic but I don't have to take it that far to see the benefits facing my fears.
2) When I get too tired, I have to nap to get through the day. --> Even though I was very tired this afternoon, instead of napping I exercised and I feel much better than if I had napped. Not only did I wake myself up, but I did something healthy that also was a benefit towards my recovery.
DEALING WITH ANXIETY AND PANIC
Success! I was out bicycling today, which is another source of anxiety for me. It's not the cycling itself, but rather that fear that I'm getting too far from home and won't be able to get back or get help. As I neared the place where I typically turn around, I could feel the anxiety starting to build. My chest started to burn, which in the past has been a reliable sign that my anxiety is turning into panic.
Automatically, my thoughts turned to "what am I going to do now?" and "how am I going to get out of this?". As soon as I realized where my thoughts were headed I mentally stopped them and instead focused on letting the panic happen. I told myself that I was going through a natural process and given a few minutes the feelings would pass. Once I made the change in thoughts, I could feel my confidence building and the fears receding. Within a matter of minutes I went from level 8 anxiety to level 1 or 2. I even started to think I should go back and experience it again. Perhaps I was getting a bit big-headed!
SELF HEALING
Before my ride, I decided to combine my meditation with my stretching. So while I was warming up my muscles, I concentrated on calm thoughts and steady breathing. I found the experience to be both relaxing and invigorating at the same time. Plus the activity of stretching helped to keep me from becoming tired during the process. It was very much like yoga.
POSITIVE THOUGHT REPLACEMENT
1) I have to experience full-blown panic to recover. --> As I found today, I don't have to reach the top of the anxiety scale to use my skills and see that I can handle anxiety. There may be times that I do fully panic but I don't have to take it that far to see the benefits facing my fears.
2) When I get too tired, I have to nap to get through the day. --> Even though I was very tired this afternoon, instead of napping I exercised and I feel much better than if I had napped. Not only did I wake myself up, but I did something healthy that also was a benefit towards my recovery.
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
I will recover, I am recovering, each and everything will make me more recovered. I will do everything possible in order to recover in the healthiest way because I refuse to live a life based on anxiety and depression anymore. How i did things in the past doesn't work anymore
Sataurday;
Relaxation
Relaxation cd;
I did it but felt rushed because i was planning something for a friend and was thinking I need to do this and this and this.
Negative thought replacement;
1)I don't have enough time to get everything done before he comes
->I don't have to do everything before he comes. If i'm still needing some time i can have him watch tv down stairs while i setup everything else.
2)I should've done more self-help things today but I didn't. How am I suppose to recover like that?
->I don't have to always put in the same ammount of effort everyday. I put in effort on a daily basis and I am continuing to grow on a daily basis. There are going to be some days where I'm more busy than normal and don't have as much time to put towards self-help. There will be days like today when I spend a majority of the day with another person and so I can't do as much and thats fine.
3)I really messed up! Now both of my friends are going to hate me because of what i did!
->Yes I did make a big mistake and hurt both my friends. It wasn't intentional, I am willing to do whatever it takes to fix the problem and I didn't do it on purpose. I feel remorseful and I have let them both know how I feel. This is all I can do and the situation is likely to work itself out.
6 Steps;
I got anxious while talking to my friend about our ideas of afterlife. His scared me and I couldn't accept it. I started to obsess about it and I started to practice breathing slowly and walking slowly. I told myself its just because of the conversation we had and it doesn't matter too much. Just because someone believes something doesn't mean it will come to be and they will go where they are ment to go.
Action assignments
Do things in a slower pace;
I kept the dark blue rock in my pocket and pulled it out several times when I was starting to feel stressed and it reminded me to go slower and to relax. This in itself calmed me down a little bit. It was helpful.
Mike
Sataurday;
Relaxation
Relaxation cd;
I did it but felt rushed because i was planning something for a friend and was thinking I need to do this and this and this.
Negative thought replacement;
1)I don't have enough time to get everything done before he comes
->I don't have to do everything before he comes. If i'm still needing some time i can have him watch tv down stairs while i setup everything else.
2)I should've done more self-help things today but I didn't. How am I suppose to recover like that?
->I don't have to always put in the same ammount of effort everyday. I put in effort on a daily basis and I am continuing to grow on a daily basis. There are going to be some days where I'm more busy than normal and don't have as much time to put towards self-help. There will be days like today when I spend a majority of the day with another person and so I can't do as much and thats fine.
3)I really messed up! Now both of my friends are going to hate me because of what i did!
->Yes I did make a big mistake and hurt both my friends. It wasn't intentional, I am willing to do whatever it takes to fix the problem and I didn't do it on purpose. I feel remorseful and I have let them both know how I feel. This is all I can do and the situation is likely to work itself out.
6 Steps;
I got anxious while talking to my friend about our ideas of afterlife. His scared me and I couldn't accept it. I started to obsess about it and I started to practice breathing slowly and walking slowly. I told myself its just because of the conversation we had and it doesn't matter too much. Just because someone believes something doesn't mean it will come to be and they will go where they are ment to go.
Action assignments
Do things in a slower pace;
I kept the dark blue rock in my pocket and pulled it out several times when I was starting to feel stressed and it reminded me to go slower and to relax. This in itself calmed me down a little bit. It was helpful.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/