Independent to Imprisoned
Can anyone relate? I've been a stay at home mom for 7 years and I've never regreted that decision. I am also very grateful that we were able to do that financially. My family is my whole world. (Maybe that's the problem, I don't know) Before staying home, I had a great job, I socialized with friends, drove everywhere and was completely independent. 7 years later, I have extreme anxiety about everything. I am terrified to drive, socialize or leave my house. I am completely dependent on my husband (who is wonderful), but I am imprisoned by anxiety. I have completed session 1 of Lucinda's program and I am very hopeful but I feel so alone. I want to cry right now. I have so much to be grateful for but my anxious thoughts control every aspect of my life. Is anyone out there going through a similiar situation?
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Guest
Hello,
I can totally relate, and while I could write half a book on what you are going through, you are in good company, EVERY mother on this website has dealt with what your feeling now, to a one extent or another.
I just want to take one minute and try to give you an enlightening thought.
In our previous life ( ie before kids) we had time to sleep, eat , drink, dance, exercise, joing a book club, volunteer, bring home a paycheck. What ever our little hearts desired. Then our children came along, ( i personally have two under age 5. ) and yes, I love it, yes I am blessed to be able to do it. When we don't have enough going on to stimulate us, or challenge us, we turn our thoughts against ourselves and all that energy we used to expend outwardly on us, on our job, on the world we are now keeping it confined to 4 walls of a house. And unwittingly being our worst enemy to over analyze everthing we do, or not do, or should do. etc.
It's not that parenting isn't challenging, it is. And it takes alot of energy to be a loving, compassionate, caring mom.
It's not that we're sitting around bored, it's just that we have put ourselves on the back burner. And you need a little "me" time. An Adult interest, something to challenge your adult mind, you mentioned you stay home alot, and don't get out, ( driving etc)
Your part of your wonderful intelligence that isn't being stimulated through reruns of sesame street, or laundry, or explaining for the 100th time why your daughter can't have your makeup. Is needing an outlet, and if you don't provide yourself an outlet, or external source of enjoyment, challenge etc. you will inadvertnently turn it against yourself and make yourself sick by over analyzing everything about you, or immediatly around you.
So continue throught the program for some self help tools, get some sleep, cut back the caffeine and find a hobby, I highly recommmend exercise of some sort, 1) IT REDUCES ANXIETY AND STRESS
2) YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF,
3) IT BOOST YOUR ENDORPHINS and you desire your husband more, ( he'll enjoy that) which in turn, sex lowes your anxiety and stress. Studies show just being near your partner lowers your stress.
4) It's SOCIAL.
Whether you go to the gym, do water aerobics, yoga, or just call a friend to walk the dog in a park. It's mentally, physically, and emotionally good for you.
Or join a bookclub, take up scrap booking, take a cooking class, take a class at a local college, volunteer at church. What ever your comfort level is at. Getting outside your head, engaging with the world around you, and getting busy, is the best way to give yourself a vacation from your self. =)
I say this all with love, and hope and confidence you will make it through, your normal, your thoughts are normal, don't feel guitly or beat yourself up with your guilt.
We've all been there and with lucindas program, you'll see more clearly we're all works in progress and even your kids will benefit from mom taking more time to take care of herself.
I always feel like a better mom, when I'm taking care of me too. hope this helps. keep me posted on your progress!
I can totally relate, and while I could write half a book on what you are going through, you are in good company, EVERY mother on this website has dealt with what your feeling now, to a one extent or another.
I just want to take one minute and try to give you an enlightening thought.
In our previous life ( ie before kids) we had time to sleep, eat , drink, dance, exercise, joing a book club, volunteer, bring home a paycheck. What ever our little hearts desired. Then our children came along, ( i personally have two under age 5. ) and yes, I love it, yes I am blessed to be able to do it. When we don't have enough going on to stimulate us, or challenge us, we turn our thoughts against ourselves and all that energy we used to expend outwardly on us, on our job, on the world we are now keeping it confined to 4 walls of a house. And unwittingly being our worst enemy to over analyze everthing we do, or not do, or should do. etc.
It's not that parenting isn't challenging, it is. And it takes alot of energy to be a loving, compassionate, caring mom.
It's not that we're sitting around bored, it's just that we have put ourselves on the back burner. And you need a little "me" time. An Adult interest, something to challenge your adult mind, you mentioned you stay home alot, and don't get out, ( driving etc)
Your part of your wonderful intelligence that isn't being stimulated through reruns of sesame street, or laundry, or explaining for the 100th time why your daughter can't have your makeup. Is needing an outlet, and if you don't provide yourself an outlet, or external source of enjoyment, challenge etc. you will inadvertnently turn it against yourself and make yourself sick by over analyzing everything about you, or immediatly around you.
So continue throught the program for some self help tools, get some sleep, cut back the caffeine and find a hobby, I highly recommmend exercise of some sort, 1) IT REDUCES ANXIETY AND STRESS
2) YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF,
3) IT BOOST YOUR ENDORPHINS and you desire your husband more, ( he'll enjoy that) which in turn, sex lowes your anxiety and stress. Studies show just being near your partner lowers your stress.
4) It's SOCIAL.
Whether you go to the gym, do water aerobics, yoga, or just call a friend to walk the dog in a park. It's mentally, physically, and emotionally good for you.
Or join a bookclub, take up scrap booking, take a cooking class, take a class at a local college, volunteer at church. What ever your comfort level is at. Getting outside your head, engaging with the world around you, and getting busy, is the best way to give yourself a vacation from your self. =)
I say this all with love, and hope and confidence you will make it through, your normal, your thoughts are normal, don't feel guitly or beat yourself up with your guilt.
We've all been there and with lucindas program, you'll see more clearly we're all works in progress and even your kids will benefit from mom taking more time to take care of herself.
I always feel like a better mom, when I'm taking care of me too. hope this helps. keep me posted on your progress!
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Guest
Thank you AlaskanAmber for your insiteful advice. It's just really nice to hear that I'm not alone. I do know that I need to do something for myself outside of the home and that will be a goal for me. As of right now I'm very scared to do it. I'm going to continue the program and take baby steps. Diet, and exercise and maybe work on the actual driving first before attempting the social part.
Thanks again.
Thanks again.