In 1990, my girlfriend (GB) and I went through an up and down relationship, some of that due to us and some due to her parents. I am a black male and she is a white female and this was the point of contention for her parents. To try to make this long story short she became pregnant, her parents now want me to marry her, I felt I was being coerced and didn't want to. From prenatal preparation, child birth and child rearing, GB was disgusted that we were not married, found another guy and got married, and I can understand that. GB and her new husband did not want me in my daughters life and took me to court and had my parental rights removed, and I had not seen my daughter from age seven through eighteen. I saw my daughter at her H.S. graduation and she did not want to see me, when she became 18 I stopped by her house to see her but she did not want to see me then, and I realized I needed to give her the space she was demanding.
Not a single day went by that I did not miss her or think about her. I may never be able to have a positive relationship with my daughter and while I spent a lot of years with regret, depression and personal disgust over it, her letting me know directly that she did not want to see me allowed me to move on with my life. I still miss my daughter and have to fight off the guilt I feel of not making the decision to marry her mom and raise her, but I will have to find ways within this program to deal with the situation
Abandonment Issues with my Daughter
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
This happened to a relative of mine. But they did get married at age 16, against parental advice. The marriage lasted a year. Then after that the daughter was poisoned by the mother against the father. Anyway, it has been a struggle with them their whole lives.
I have a niece who is legally my sister now. My sister, the bio, mom, is very messed up, but my niece is so much better to have had the stability of my parents raising her. She also does not know her bio father personally and after finding out more about him, it was the best thing for her as his other bio kids are a mess.
So forgive yourself, if you have led a productive life, eventually, your daughter will be drawn to you. Otherwise, time will have to work things out in both of your lives.
We all grow up as "children" and things will get worked out, but as a religious person, sometimes it may take "eternity" to make wrongs turned right. There's a lot more to this life then we all know...mysteries will be unfolded in due time.
I have a niece who is legally my sister now. My sister, the bio, mom, is very messed up, but my niece is so much better to have had the stability of my parents raising her. She also does not know her bio father personally and after finding out more about him, it was the best thing for her as his other bio kids are a mess.
So forgive yourself, if you have led a productive life, eventually, your daughter will be drawn to you. Otherwise, time will have to work things out in both of your lives.
We all grow up as "children" and things will get worked out, but as a religious person, sometimes it may take "eternity" to make wrongs turned right. There's a lot more to this life then we all know...mysteries will be unfolded in due time.
