MOMS Group
I joined a group about 2 months ago to socialize and find playmates for my young children. I am a stay at home Mom and started going to these gatherings. My issues involve making friends and feeling really anxious about the perceptions these other people have of me! I can't let it go. I haven't had any friends since high school and am trying to push through these feelings of social awkwardness and resistance. I don't want to work so hard to make friends. Shouldn't it be easier? I think I am trying too hard because I am afraid deep down that I am not likeable. It is a pretty large group and haven't felt like part of the group yet after 3 months. Any input or suggestions?
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Guest
HI bsg321,
It would be difficult to make a recommendation without really knowing what is going on, or how you might come off to others. You may be just fine and haven't found someone you click with, or maybe you are over-bearing, or maybe you look uncomfortable so people are picking up on that. It could be a number of things.
Why don't you ask your husband for his honesty on how you act around a group of people and get his feedback?
In the end, you just want to be as natural and comfortable as you are around your family and not put on any kind of act or try too hard. I think it is fair to assume that most of us do act differently around people outside our comfort zone.
While some of us might be extra bubbly, some of may come off as pushy or trying too hard. Only you would know this, try to pay attention to how you act the next time you get together with these folks, or ask your husband for some input.
It would be difficult to make a recommendation without really knowing what is going on, or how you might come off to others. You may be just fine and haven't found someone you click with, or maybe you are over-bearing, or maybe you look uncomfortable so people are picking up on that. It could be a number of things.
Why don't you ask your husband for his honesty on how you act around a group of people and get his feedback?
In the end, you just want to be as natural and comfortable as you are around your family and not put on any kind of act or try too hard. I think it is fair to assume that most of us do act differently around people outside our comfort zone.
While some of us might be extra bubbly, some of may come off as pushy or trying too hard. Only you would know this, try to pay attention to how you act the next time you get together with these folks, or ask your husband for some input.
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Guest
Feel free to send me a PM. I would be more than happy to chat with you.
I can relate in that I'm not chatty with a lot of other women. I like to see friends one on one, and don't care much to be in large or even small groups.
I am not sure what it is - I had a group of close friends in high school, but I was not a Christian - we partied, lol. So maybe the substances made things more comfortable and that is how I was used to being in a group of women.
I was also raised in a broken family, father passed when I was young and I had a negative relationship with my only brother, and mother worked to provide, most of my relatives were out of state.
I do understand about the disliking people sort of thing. I think with me, I tend to base past experiences on future friendships so I can be very standoff-ish and reserved when meeting new folks. And if I don't immediately click with a person I don't try very hard at all at having any kind of relationship.
I will be participating in a co-op for home-school this year, it will be interesting to see how that turns out for me.
Keep me posted on the MOM's group - I had a friend who was a table leader, we went to the first meeting together, but due to my social awkwardness I never continued while she was always so gregarious she loved it.
I can relate in that I'm not chatty with a lot of other women. I like to see friends one on one, and don't care much to be in large or even small groups.
I am not sure what it is - I had a group of close friends in high school, but I was not a Christian - we partied, lol. So maybe the substances made things more comfortable and that is how I was used to being in a group of women.
I was also raised in a broken family, father passed when I was young and I had a negative relationship with my only brother, and mother worked to provide, most of my relatives were out of state.
I do understand about the disliking people sort of thing. I think with me, I tend to base past experiences on future friendships so I can be very standoff-ish and reserved when meeting new folks. And if I don't immediately click with a person I don't try very hard at all at having any kind of relationship.
I will be participating in a co-op for home-school this year, it will be interesting to see how that turns out for me.
Keep me posted on the MOM's group - I had a friend who was a table leader, we went to the first meeting together, but due to my social awkwardness I never continued while she was always so gregarious she loved it.