can someone explain to me how child support is fair??

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:05 pm

Hi Crave!

I'm glad you understand that I'm on your side.

With my ex, I got nothing. I had to raise my children without his help.

I had to come to terms with that. And it was so hard for me to do!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:06 pm

Since I give my ex the amount of money that I do, she was able to keep our VERY NICE house which is in a very nice area. I live in a shack (literally one third the size of hers), and as Jill says, live on very cheap tv dinners. I've been trying to get back out and date again, but I'm finding I just can't afford it.

I think her main agenda is to punish me for leaving her. She insists that she should not have to change her lifestyle because I left her. It just was not a healthy relationship for me, and I HAD to leave. Luckily, all my son has really ever known is Mommy and Daddy being apart, so he didn't really have to deal with that.

I guess the child support is just the price I have to pay to not really have to deal with my ex (much) anymore.

Ugh.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:10 pm

Sorry to hear that Deedee. I just don't get Dads like that. I love being a Dad, and I love my son more than anything. I could not imagine not having him in my life.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:24 pm

He was in their lives. He just wouldn't help. He made the youngest one think he was supporting her. The oldest knew better.

I couldn't not let him spend time with them, because he wouldn't pay. That only hurts the children. I wasn't that kind of mother. I had to do what was best for them emotionally.

He has to live with what he did. I let it go!

My girls are doing well.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:37 pm

(((((deedee))))
((((crave))))

Sorry you guys have and had to go thru that kinda stuff. I am sure growing up it wasn't the happy ever after you hoped for.
Take care and know you are not alone,the Lord never leaves your side.
J~

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jan 10, 2010 2:44 am

Thanks for all the replies everyone. It sure does help to talk about it.

So here is what I'm going to use (for now) to counter the bitterness...

It's the LAW, and I am not going to change it.
It's only money - I can always make more! Do I really NEED it?
ETHAN's well-being is more important than the money.
I will not allow GREED to consume me.
I will not allow JEALOUSY to consume me either.
Money is not the path to PEACE, LOVE, and JOY.

I FORGIVE Kristen for choosing the path she has chosen. It is her God-given right.
JESUS would not be bitter about this!!! He would likely offer her every last cent he had!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jan 10, 2010 4:47 am

Hello Crave:
I believe that you have chosen a path of peace. I also believe that you will be rewarded
with many other blessings.
I know this won't always be easy.
(as a divorcee', I reaised 3 children with no help).
But I believe you have choses a way that will be easier in the long haul.
I wish you well!!!!
MJ

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:35 am

It's the LAW, and I am not going to change it.
It's only money - I can always make more! Do I really NEED it?
ETHAN's well-being is more important than the money.
I will not allow GREED to consume me.
I will not allow JEALOUSY to consume me either.
Money is not the path to PEACE, LOVE, and JOY.
I FORGIVE Kristen for choosing the path she has chosen. It is her God-given right.
JESUS would not be bitter about this!!! He would likely offer her every last cent he had!!

Crave that is a great attitude. You are looking at this in a healthy and positive way!

We have gone through a huge amount of financial loss and credit damage. It didn't seem fair at all, since it was to help out someone else who defaulted on their loan. But I look back at it and don't fully regret what happened because it brought a lot of growth to us as a family and individuals as well.

I'm reminded of this verse from Matthew 22:21

"give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God."

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:34 am

Thanks everyone. This path definitely FEELS a whole lot more peaceful than that other one I was taking. I guess this is the proverbial "path less traveled by"...

Yet again, I am reminded of how HARD life can be when we lose our FAITH!!! Without something compelling to strive for (the will of God), where in the world are we going???

John

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:37 pm

I am so proud of you John!

You're doing the right thing!

You're gonna have peace of mind now.