Did anyone's anxiety start after having baby?

Luna Castillo · Post by **Luna Castillo** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:37 am

Hi Julie, I had my worst time after having my now 4 years old boy and I had a terrible set back, and I realize later on that it was a big change in my life, it was a lot of responsability and I really feel stressed out and found my self worrying constanly for everything, and the worry just got out of my hand and I started having the panic attacks again.

alexsei521 · Post by **alexsei521** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:57 am

I was over anxious and stressed before children but the body symptoms came after the kids. I have a six year old with special needs and two year old twins. Your story sounds the same as mine.

squish_is_me · Post by **squish_is_me** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 5:16 am

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juliebeth · Post by **juliebeth** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 12:29 pm

Julie,
I am also a Julie that lives in Florida that began to have anxiety, unfortunately, after a miscarriage rather than a birth. At the time I had a 16 month old and a 3 year old. I know exactly what you are going through. I joined a MOMS Club that helped to get me out of the house and kept my mind off anxiety for short periods of time. Stick with the program. I am beginning week 5 and I am definately more relaxed and I can cope with the anxiety better.

sleeplessMom · Post by **sleeplessMom** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:00 pm

I have been thinking about this for myself recently. Before I had kids, I would have described myself as a perfectionist, with high standards, and probably a bit high strung. Then I had my first child that had health problems after birth that they didn't know what were causing them, and he turned out to be fine but he wouldn't sleep AT ALL! For years. Seriously, he was halfway through kindergarten before he slept through the night every night. And that is when my cycle of insomnia started. On and off until I got pregnant the second time and had insomnia every night for nine months (I was up for several hours in the middle of the night each night). It may have been party hormonal, but I do believe now, after my anxiety got worse and I had to seek treatment, that all this time my anxiety was increasing and that was causing my sleeping problems. And the stress and FATIGUE that comes with raising children adds fuel to the fire. No matter how you look at it, kids are tough - impossible sometimes. Every day there is some sort of struggle, and you just get past one thing and another one pops up. I love my boys (they are 7 and 4), but they are enough to drive anyone crazy. BUT the good news is this program is great. I can realize that kids are challenging, and it is the most difficult job in the world, but it is how I react to it that makes it more difficult. I have the same reaction to the "slow line" problem, but now I can check my thoughts and say to myself it is probably a 50-50 chance whether I choose a slow line or a fast line. Some days I choose the slow line and some days I choose a fast line (and do I give myself a high-five on the days the line goes fast? No! I used just take it for granted, but now I try to say "wow, how nice. it is my turn for the fast line"). And half the time I was getting all worked up and I really didn't have anywhere else to be. So what if my slow line takes 5 minutes longer? It is only 5 minutes! What's the rush? Keep with the program, it is very good. Don't try so hard it stresses you out, just keep working at it. It will help.

Believer08 · Post by **Believer08** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:11 am

YES............my 11 month old is the reason for my xanax and now in this program.............I'm now trying to learn how to enjoy her not look at he as a stress or anxiety trigger.

AngelKL · Post by **AngelKL** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:37 am

Believer08...motherhood is one of the most challenging things I've ever experienced. However, as they say, you get out of it, what you put into it. When my sons were younger, I sometimes found them to be so much work (they were 21 months apart in age and my husband and I were only together for 6 months before we got married, the first baby came 5 months later). LOL I just stopped typing to yell at one of them!!! My sons are now 16 and 18 years old. They are typical teeangers in that they love arguing with each other and love hanging out with their friends. When I think back to when they were babies, all I can remember is that it went by too fast! I'd love to have the chance to be their mother all over again and change some of the mistakes I made back then. I too take an antiaxiety medication, usually for PMS, but when I think of the blessing I've received in my two sons, I'm so thankful! Just take one day at a time and enjoy your sweet baby! I'll keep you in my prayers!

chatterbox · Post by **chatterbox** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:29 pm

My anxiety and depression started after the birth of my children as well. First it started with PPD after the birth of my first son, and then after the birth of my second son PPD hit me very hard, then came the anxiety and it just took over from there! I hear that if you have PPD with one child you are most likely to have it after the second and that it hits harder. My boys are now 13 and 7, I would of loved to have not have gone through the years of anxiety but if I had to do it again to have my boys I would

TC everyone

yogi · Post by **yogi** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 4:25 am

Hi Julie,

I can relate. I have an 18 mo old, my first, a boy. I have had more anxiety since he was born expecially now that he is a toddler. He is not relaxing to be around:) I was feeling guilty for not enjoying him more and yes, having anxiety over simple things like giving him a bath. I took Lexapro and it's helping me as well as this program. The negative to positve thinking is helping. I'm different too because I'm at work full-time. But my taste of being home for the 3 mo maternity leave, and being with him at night and on week-ends, gives me the idea that being home with him could be isolating and harder in a way than "working." I would struggle to create my own discipline especially with him wanting to do what he wants when he wants, like an 18mo old should. I am humbled now that I have my baby, that anyone has two children much less 6 or whatever. I felt that I was underwater and barely made it this far with my boy. But he is an absolute blessing.

sleeplessMom · Post by **sleeplessMom** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:19 am

The more I think about it, I think this has been my issue too. Stress and anxiety was manageable before children, then the responsibility, lack of sleep, and complete irrationality of these loved little ones just put me over the top. I've been in therapy along with meds and the program for 18 months, but my therapist doesn't have kids herself, and honestly I don't think someone can really empathize with the day to day difficulty unless they have children themselves. She is moving, so I am excited about the opportunity to find a better therapist. I, too, have worked part-time since my first child was 3 months old, and in my opinion it is much harder staying home full-time. At least when you work when they are so little, you get a little break, even if it is not time for yourself. No matter how much you love them, and we do, kids are tremendously difficult.