First Day of School?

[Engine2]

So, my son is 6 and starts first grade tomorrow. He went through Kindergarten in this same school.

Last March on and off we battled the dreaded stomach bug that came and went, then we had some minor "my belly hurts" issues the seemed to resolve on their own.

I am a long time anxiety sufferer, but to be honest don't know what my symptoms were (if any) when I was six.

I know it really took off when I was eight, and I had a constant fear of vomiting.

So, to my son. He starts 1st grade tomorrow in the school that he had kindergarten in. He knows he has a new teacher and some different kids in his class. Today we are hanging out because my wife had to go back to work as a teacher and it's just he and I.

My wife said to go by the school and drop stuff off (Crayons, pencils, etc) and we would get to see the classroom and maybe the teacher.

Well, we did that, teacher was not there, but we left the stuff in the classroom.

Then we went out for lunch at a fast food place and before we even started eating he told me his belly hurt. I believe he was initially hungry and said it started when we sat down. (Who knows!)

I am thinking maybe it feels funny and now he is nervous about school. He downed two juice boxes and some food, but still is being funny.

I get so upset when he complains of his stomach, which are two fold. One, because I don't want him to throw up, a fear of mine is catching a bug and two, because I can no longer tell if it is real or not.

We had an issue in the spring where he battled on and off for a month with a bug, and then pains on and off. They seem to have resolved on his own and occasionally he has made a mention, but nothing consistent and one time he had diarrhea so that one was real.

Long story short, because I feel like I am going to be anxious about him being anxious, is, how should I deal with it? I don't want to teach anxiety or identify with it, but I also want to ensure my son is OK.

I believe at times I make it worse. Everyone tells me I should let it go, I just can't ignore it and I think it is for his and my own issues.

[Marcella]

I would suggest being loving and compassionate, especially if he is nervous or scared about starting school. Don't make it a "big deal". Let him be who he is. Getting upset at him can cause him to internalize your reaction that "having my own illnesses, thoughts, feelings, etc." is not "okay" because Dad gets upset. It's not "okay" to deny the feelings of a child no matter what they are. So, getting upset is not the answer, in my opinion.

If he is scared, helping him deal with that fear and overcome it will help him grow emotionally. Getting upset is not part of the process. Providing him with support through unconditional love, patience, hugs, and encouragement as he struggles to deal with the fear will teach him how to properly handle scary situations and eventually overcome them.

This is a difficult time for some kids. My child, now 24, had major problems with kindergarten. Love and support from my wife and I plus the folks at the kindergarten enabled him to get through the year, though it was a struggle. It's okay to be afraid if that is the situation. In time he can overcome the fear with a lot of love and support.

[derfy]

Upon further review it looks as if I over reacted.

I think he did have some stomach pain yesterday, at least that would be what one would think who hung around yesterday afternoon while he passed gas!!

This morning for school came and went. We went through the normal routine and he was not nervous (from what I could see) one bit.

It was an amazing day!!

[Guest]

Just wait until he totals his first vehicle, or knocks off both the side mirrors on your truck, or [this week] needs $550 for car repair, then needs $300 because of running a red light. And we are still getting billed for apartment damage from the apartment my son and 3 other guys lived in until the end of July of this year. I just sent $125 in the mail this week for "carpet replacement". Ahhhh, the joys of being the parent. lol.

The truth is, I had much of this happen to me as a college student also, except totaling a vehicle. It's all a part of the maturing process. The good side is that my son is a wonderful, loving person, very intelligent [finishing his masters next year], fun to be around, with tremendous potential. That's the prize and that's what I focus on.