empty nest
I am missing my children. Just moved my youngest back to college last week. Her expectation of what I should do for her financially is different from mine. I feel that I have done a lot for her. She hangs out with some kids with wealthy parents, and she feels like she is being cheated because I am not able to hand her everything on a silver platter. I think that even if I could I wouldn't. Children need character building experiences. They need to learn the cost of things. I guess I am kind of rambling. This is my first time doing this. not even sure if I am doing it right.
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Guest
Hello Charlene:
The empty nest syndrom is taxing. It grabs you right in the heart. In this case, time is the healer. You grow acceustomed to the quietness.
I had 3 and they all left the nest about the same time as they were very close in age.
I was pretty lost for a time. I was a single mom. And I'd let the children become my life, so to spaak.
But you do gradually feel a lessening of the pain of the loss.
Try to do some things just for you.
As for financially teaching children - they have to learn to be responcible. You are right there in my thinking. Because life on their own is not so easy sometimes. You could ask my kids about that. Of course my kids are likely your age or better.
Just hang in there - and stick to your values.
Don't weaken.
Regards,
MJ
The empty nest syndrom is taxing. It grabs you right in the heart. In this case, time is the healer. You grow acceustomed to the quietness.
I had 3 and they all left the nest about the same time as they were very close in age.
I was pretty lost for a time. I was a single mom. And I'd let the children become my life, so to spaak.
But you do gradually feel a lessening of the pain of the loss.
Try to do some things just for you.
As for financially teaching children - they have to learn to be responcible. You are right there in my thinking. Because life on their own is not so easy sometimes. You could ask my kids about that. Of course my kids are likely your age or better.
Just hang in there - and stick to your values.
Don't weaken.
Regards,
MJ
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EastcoastGirl
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2009 9:11 am
You are right Charleen!!!!she feels like she is being cheated because I am not able to hand her everything on a silver platter. I think that even if I could I wouldn't.
I learned the hard way that we have to allow our kids, to learn from the world, not bail them out, of their lessons. Stand your ground, They will come to respect and understand your position. One day they will be glad you are financially sound, and they don't have to pay for your care. Giving kids what they want at any age, is crippling to them, they need to understand what it takes to have things, they want. It is hard enough to give kids things they need! but I do believe that is all we as parents are responsible for. at any age, but as they get older, and leave home, well that is the end of the apron string.
I tell my kids if you get in a bind come home. We will work it out, because I already tried "throwing money at their problems" from here, and they did not respect my sacrifice, they threw that money away too.
It is difficult to watch them suffer, but, believe me you will need to be on solid ground to help them out when all there wants brings them down to, understanding what they really need.