Did anyone's anxiety start after having baby?

KitKat68 · Post by **KitKat68** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:03 am

I was watching an episode of Desperate Housewives a few years back and one of the characters (Felicity Huffman) had a nervous breakdown related to parenting and the rest of the women found her sitting in a park crying. When her friends unloaded their frustrations with parenting, too, her question was, "Why didn't you guys ever tell me this? You make it look so easy and I feel guilty for not being as good as you guys" (or something like that).

The point is, parenting is one of the biggest changes your life will ever experience. There is enough stress and anxiety with raising children to flow through womanhood. LOL. The problem is, a lot of women feel guilty for having a negative reaction to parenting. It doesn't mean you don't love your kids; it just means that it's freaking hard to be "on" all the time.

I have 4. I hadn't had a panic attack in 7 or 8 years and when I found out I was pregnant; then they kicked back in full speed.

I think there's so much pressure for us to be ecstatic and on Cloud 9 when we have children that we feel so disconnected and guilty if we don't (I'm not saying you don't, personally).

I'm not sure that women are completely honest when it comes to parenting; especially at first. I think we'd find a lot more woman having the same struggles WHILE adoring their kids.

I love my kids more than life itself, but there were nights where I just wanted to run...now I'm just heading into teenagerism so I might start feeling that again, I'll let you know. LOL.

rose_thorn98 · Post by **rose_thorn98** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:04 pm

Yes, I too started after the birth of my son. He is now two. I did the program a year ago. Doing alot better now. Still have some hard days with anxiety. Mostly worry about him becasue he doesn't eat much. It is a big resposnibilty. That is why I got the anxiety. Terrible twos don't help it either. But I know now that I can survive it! One thing that also helped me alot was admitting to myself that I was not happy staying at home. Going back to work for 4 days a week has helped me tremendously. It has made me a better Mom, because I get the adult interaction that I truly need to be a normal person. It took me months to admit that I was not happy staying at home. It was lonely. Very lonely. I didnt have any family or friends around to visit with during the day. Now, I still have a long 3 day weekend to spend with my son and I feel like I'm balanced.

KitKat68 · Post by **KitKat68** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 12:46 am

Rose_Thorn, I couldn't empathize with you more. I have a sister who left a career to stay home and raise her kids and became a different person. It has been 18 years and I just wish I could get her to do this or some program.

It is not easy staying at home and it's even harder to admit that you don't want to. There is nothing wrong with working and, if it makes you a better person, it makes you a better parent right? I would be hell on wheels if I was home full time.

sheilag · Post by **sheilag** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 3:09 am

Hi Julie,
I was in the same situation with 2 children, 6 months apart. I used to put a list a mile long in my head and strive to accomplish it. I was anxious and depressed with my 2 children and it cost me the enjoyment of children. My husband was working all the time too. I used to literally scream out loud from pain and would be embarassed because I knew my neighbors heard me. But my children got the worse of it, poor babies. This has led to years of guilt and affected my children. They too have chronic anxiety with their children. I recommend that you find time for yourself and start your tapes immediately. Please take care of yourself first.

NightLight · Post by **NightLight** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:32 pm

Hi there, moms! I actually pulled my post below from one I made on another thread. I struggled with some OCD as a child and I started having panic attacks in college, but my anxiety absolutely SKYROCKETED after having babies! NO QUESTION!

I think (no, I KNOW) that the role hormones play in anxiety and depression is underestimated. I had three children back to back (I had a 3 1/2 year old and a 2 year old when I brought my 3rd newborn baby home from the hospital). I had always struggled with anxiety, but pregnancy & childbirth brought it to a whole new level! I'm not saying this to scare anyone...I'm mentioning it because it is sooooooo normal (and so treatable).

You hear a lot about post partum depression, but not as much about post partum anxiety OR depression and anxiety during pregnancy.

I am begging you because I learned the long (and hard) way: Please, please, please do NOT hesitate to take medication if your doctor thinks it will help. My "post partum" didn't kick in until about five months after my son was born and I fought taking any sort of meds for the first (entire) year of his life. Once I started working with this program, doing the coaching calls, using the hotline (thanks Carolyn!) as needed and taking the meds the way I was supposed to...it honestly took only a few weeks for me to feel completely back to normal.

My suggestion in terms of medication is to go to a psychiatrist vs. a general practitioner. They are so good at coming up with the right dosages and combinations. Understand that the biggest problem with anti-depressents these days is people not being prescribed a high enough dosage. Take the antidepressent and take the xanax with it for a few weeks until you get used to it. Most importantly, don't beat yourself up. I've been on 200 mg of Zoloft for three years now and I've never felt better. I will, most likely, take it for the rest of my life.

I haven't posted for a while, but I'm feeling so blessed to be completely recovered...I just had to get on and share tonight. I used to go to the doctor a few times a week because I had so many different symptoms I was SURE I was dying. I also dropped to 103 lbs (which is very, very thin for me) when I was having a really rough time. Not to mention extreme hair loss, vision problems, loss of balance, constant colds and flu, chronic IBS, constant aches and pains, reflux and heartburn, and SEVERE shaking. When I would make my son's bottle in the morning, my hands would shake so hard that I'd get more formula on the counter than in the bottle. It was really scary.

Now, I'm doing great! I've gained all (+) of the weight back, I haven't been to the doctor in almost a year (since my annual physical) and I no longer have any of the symptoms listed above!

I took my kids to Miami last week all by myself AND I'm a Top 10 finalist for Walt-Disney's first-ever CMO position (which is a traveling ambassador for Disney Parks (Anaheim, Orlando, Paris & Hong Kong). Flying used to be my biggest fear and now it doesn't even phase me!

As far as the Disney job, you can check out my video resume at <A HREF="http://www.dreamcmo.com/karrie" TARGET=_blank>www.dreamcmo.com/karrie</A> (I could use all the support I could get before 3/22)!

Hang in there, mommies! My kiddos are almost 4, 6 and 7 now and it is getting soooooo much easier. Besides, my husband seems to "get it" more with each passing year. He is SO helpful with the kids and we are getting along better than ever.

Although waaaaay easier said than done, take care of YOU when you can!

Cynthia Sue · Post by **Cynthia Sue** » Thu Jun 10, 2010 4:25 pm

I have always had anxiety and after using the program 3 years ago I was doing much better. My son is 17 mos old and after years of several miscarriages, we finally have a son. I went thru a scary delivery with Acute Fatty Liver Of Pregnancy(rare lifethreatening condition causing your liver and kidneys to fail. I spent several days in ICU and was given a 50% chance. My son was born healthy. After leaving the hospital my husband had to go back to work and I was very anxious to come home and immediatly be a mom to a newborn without any help and I was very weak. I had to go the the ER a couple times with in the first 2 weeks I was home for anxiety,I kept thinking I was still in liver failure and something was still wrong with me. I understand how you feel when your alone and there is no one to help you and all those scary feelings come to you. NOw I am back to work, but my anxiety has gotten worse. I work 2nd shift at the hospital and my son gets up really early in the morning, so I am anxious everynight worried that I am not going to get enough sleep to take care of him. I am starting to feel dizzy alot, rapid breathing while driving and waking up with nervous stomach.Any advice?

Dominick · Post by **Dominick** » Fri Jun 11, 2010 8:51 am

I'm permanently disabled and have 2 children. Although my children are teenagers now I know what it was like when they were just babies.You just worry how can I take care of them and that just increases the anxiety. My advice is to go back to sessions 2 and 3. They have worked for me so far in battling the anxiety. I'm currently in session 3 and my anxiety has calmed down a lot. Just as Lucinda says, session 3 in many ways is the cornerstone for the entire program.

Tana · Post by **Tana** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 10:32 am

I too found anixiety was hightened after my baby was born. That was the first time I would wake up in the middle of the night with panic attacks. I never had that before but I did have mild but constant anxiety. I know I need to work on my self esteem. That is def a bit one! I would like to hear stories of more moms who have overcome this and are not using any meds. Anyone? I just finished week one and it has been a huge eye opener, but so hard to believe that I can still overcome this. Looking for support.

jfour · Post by **jfour** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 7:23 am

I did not get anxiety untill I stopped nursing with my last two. It was exactly 6 months later that I started feeling anxious. some kind of hormone thing I guess!!!

Kerri Majewski · Post by **Kerri Majewski** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 4:45 pm

My anxiety seems to heighten around my cycle...so I am thinking it is something with the hormones