Post
by TryinginDenver » Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:33 am
catdr71: I think everyone has given you good things to think about and I'm glad to hear you're moving forward. Just a bit to share... I too was in your situation when I decied to have a second child. I had to go on antidepressents after my first because my post-pardum was so bad - sadness, extreme mood swings, scary thoughts, extreme anxiety. The medication did help, but I had to get off once I got pregnant and unfortunately, I had severe anxiety and depression during pregnancy and after the birth of my second. What I did do, though, was to be honest with myself that I suffered from these symptoms. I had an action plan in place before my second was born. My husband and I agreed that I would get help at the first signs of post pardum and anxiety. We agreed to get me a sitter two days a week so I could go work out, do errands, and relax. I had an agreement that I could call my husband anytime at work with a code, "I'm having a bad day," that meant I was freaking out and he was talk me down and to come home as soon as possible. I had pledged to a friend that I would call her at anytime if I was starting to loose it. I talked to the doctor about possible anti-depressents. Make plans ahead of time to get you thorugh the tough spots. You also have this program, which I didn't at the time and it will help you manage your anxiety so much better than before.
Even with my plans, after my second was born, I did have some REALLY bad days. But I knew what it was, had experience with what worked and didn't and we worked through it.
Go forward with your plans for pregnancy knowing it WILL be hard to have two kids. Its double the work, stress and exhaustion. You WILL have bad days. You are more susceptable to post pardum with each pregnancy. However, know in your heart that you have the strength, knowledge and support to get through. You know having the coping tools. They may not prevent the initial triggers of stress and anxiety, but you will know how to manage them so much better than before. And know this, the hard part will pass. My daughters are now 14 months and 3 and 1/2. They play together beautifully while I cook and do other chores and life is actually easier than with one.
Finally, try to stop focusing on what might happen and if you can handle it. Start focusing on the fact that you want and will someday have NEW BABY. Think about it. Meditate on it. A NEW BABY. And the joy that it brings overcomes even the worst of days.
Best Wishes.