Hi, again...I was brought up to be honest, fair, truthful etc. I have HUGE ISSUES with individuals who are not. The UPSETTING PART is that people are not perfect and life isn't fair.
I can become so upset when co-workers lie,hurt others and do not do a fair share of the work while taking more than their share of the credit.
Just came from an inservice designed to identify our personality types. By the time I (and some other co-workers) looked at the massive group who saw themselves as fair, easy-going,non-confrontational,pleasant yadayada, I thought steam was going to come out of my ears. I saw some of the most controlling bullies from our organization placing themselves in that group. I became irrationally angry and though I did not act on my impulses, I sat through the activity steaming! I even pulled a xanax out of my purse so I wouldn't say anything to our very controlling and unfair, unkind boss. Logically, I know that I should decide how important it is in the scheme of my life but I could easily spend all night obsessing about it and wanting to vent to individuals I cannot vent to. I was raised to be the people pleasing over-achiever and I am finding myself furious at having to do almost all the work for my team while they rest on their laurels and take home the same salary. (There is no one who would care to do anything about my issue.)Anyone else out there get so very angry about unfair people? Is this a common anxiety trait? I haven't gone past Lesson 3 but think perhaps I should forge ahead and get to some of the sessions on anger. Suggestions PLEASE! Somewhere
Do unfair people and situations trigger your anger and anxiety? Help!
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Guest
This program totally goes over this very subject.
And you are right, this kind of stuff happens all the time, I was just talking about this with someone - why do the healthier minded people get diagnosed with terminal diseases while the ones who ruin their bodies with horrible food and no exercise live forever?
Why does my in-law get things that I feel he hasn't worked for and he spends his money on frivolous things while our family has to be super careful with our spending and my DH works twice as hard?
Why do people who cheat and not follow the rules have financial freedom while we struggle?
Why do some kids get away with all kinds of ridiculous things and their parents never come down on them as hard as we do ours?
I think some of these thoughts are part of the negative thought patterns - we fail to look at the positives and the good things. We can think so negatively that we don't notice the great things we have that they DON'T have.
I have come to realize that we really do have it great - we have been blessed with some wonderful kids.
We have the ability to work harder than anyone else and be wise with our money and we aren't in debt.
We may not have the luxeries that other people 'in debt' have, but we are more creative with our resources.
Try making a list of the things you have that others don't - I think you'll surprise yourself that you really do have so much to be thankful for!
And you are right, this kind of stuff happens all the time, I was just talking about this with someone - why do the healthier minded people get diagnosed with terminal diseases while the ones who ruin their bodies with horrible food and no exercise live forever?
Why does my in-law get things that I feel he hasn't worked for and he spends his money on frivolous things while our family has to be super careful with our spending and my DH works twice as hard?
Why do people who cheat and not follow the rules have financial freedom while we struggle?
Why do some kids get away with all kinds of ridiculous things and their parents never come down on them as hard as we do ours?
I think some of these thoughts are part of the negative thought patterns - we fail to look at the positives and the good things. We can think so negatively that we don't notice the great things we have that they DON'T have.
I have come to realize that we really do have it great - we have been blessed with some wonderful kids.
We have the ability to work harder than anyone else and be wise with our money and we aren't in debt.
We may not have the luxeries that other people 'in debt' have, but we are more creative with our resources.
Try making a list of the things you have that others don't - I think you'll surprise yourself that you really do have so much to be thankful for!
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Guest
Shifrah,Thanks for reminding me to journal all the positives in my life. You are soooo on target! Bad things do happen to good people and I have to remind myself that, in the end, we reap what we sow. I have chosen to respond to many lifetime challenges with negative thinking. It's going to be the hardest thing for me to break and as I continue the program, I constantly go back and listen to session 3. I love the program but see myself as one who will need to constantly repeat it over a long period of time in order to retrain my thinking.
I so relate to every thought you sent my way. Blessings, Somewhere
I so relate to every thought you sent my way. Blessings, Somewhere