Let's be positive folks! My positive story!

Ld26angell · Post by **Ld26angell** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 6:36 am

hi all.

I come on to look at what others are saying to each other and to see if I can relate to any of it. I 've noticed that there are many posts on here that are very negative. I understand that not every post is supposed to be positve and uplifting (it is about anxiety, stress, and depression) but we are here for support and encouragement!
With that being said I am sharing my positive story and hopefully can make someonw feel a bit better today=)!
I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was little, I was taken doctor to doctor for acid reflux. Now that I have gone through the program and realized what anxiety disorder was, I knew that is what it had been all along. Those "wierd, sad, anxious feelings" like something BAD was going to happen but I couldn't tell "what" it was. It has a word.. ANXIETY!
I do have to say that I didn't suffer from depression too much. I know everyone is different but I think my main concern and issue was ANXIETY and not knowing how to handle it.
I went to a therapist about 4 or 5 years ago and it helped for the time that I went, but I never understood why I has Anxiety. A year and a half after therapy I began to see all my anxiety come back.. It frightened me because I thought "it" was over.
After sufferring for awhile, I found this wonderful program!!!
I remember sitting in front of my compouter crying to my mom realizing that she (Lucinda) was telling "MY" story. These scary thoughts that I was expereincing are a normal, even a side effect of anxiety? This lady has the answers? Sign Me Up!
Well that is exactly what I did. I did the program once and then partially a second time. I changed so much but I still struggled with the whole not handling things well. Still thinking that I couldn't or wouldn't be able to handle the struggles life sometimes brings and what if My aniety came back? then the scary thoughts would begin again.
I started the program (thoroughly) a third time. I am currently on Lesson 9 (spent teo weekson this one). I think I was so focused on wanting to rid mysefl of the obsessive thoughts that I focused more on that then what was really in the other sessions, sort of thinking about that session 10!
Well this time I knew that I really want to "Master" these skills. SO that is where I am now.
Let me tell you... I 'm a completely differetn person and I still continue to change each and every day. Life is still giving me these practice opportunities daily!
(ex. Grandfather very ill in hospital 4 hours away. He's been in there for over a month (had open heart surgery, has diabetes, has one kidney(due to removing it because it had a cancerous tumor), and has congestive heart failure)
He is such a strong strong man and he is now beginning to get weak and this is when we need to be strong for him. It is extremely hard. and those thoughts of what if I can't handle this still come back and yes a scary thought may pop into my head again, but there is a difference this time. I allow it to be there, do NOT react, and move on....
I also just recently expereinced something I didn't think I would before. A tragic murder-suicide happened to my old neighbors just a few weeks ago. I'm not going ot go into it but it was absolutely tragic. I never thought I would know someone who would do this. All these times that I hear these stories and woinder why and could I ever do that? and all those scary things, came face to face with me. But I got through it and I'm still here. I still think about this horrible tragedy daily but I have a different perspective now.
Life is precious. I know that my scary thoughts are silly now having gone through those expereinces. It really wasn't the thoughts themselves that would bother me, it was the fact of "what if I couldn't handle something that tragic?"
Well again I am still here and I've realized that life is NOT always easy or happy.Sometimes it's awful and things we couldn't imagine or can (and get terrified) happen. But that is LIFE.. It's what you make of it that determines how it will affect you.
I just had to share this because even when things get really bad and I think that Oh no I'm right back where I started, and you begin to listen to negative people, or news stories, or even expierence negative situations, you still are OK.
Thank you to everyone who has been a part of making the the program program. It truly has changed my life!
I'm finishing up my lessons adn tehm moving on after this time through.
I will always refer back to those cd's I'm sure of it. but I have skills now that I never ever thought I could have before!
Thank you!!
Lisa =)

Carolyn Dickman · Post by **Carolyn Dickman** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:06 am

Lisa, thanks for your story. I just ordered the program and am looking forward to starting it. I have just recently come to terms that I have anxiety/panic problems. I think it was after the 3rd ER visit in two weeks and each time I was fine.

My current positive is that I am using some of the skills learned from folks on this board and the mini-program Lucinda has been sending since I signed up. I have been able to face some fears (driving in traffic jams, being in places I think are "unsafe", etc.). Granted, I also just started Paxil (and Xanax for the panic buildups), but hearing stories like your's and getting support from people is great. I am hoping that the program will help me and I can stop my meds soon.

Thanks!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:42 am

I know what you are talking about in a lot of the threads I've read there's a lot of enabling, which get people to stick in their current patterns. This program is about change and change is scary, but very good. I'm scared to be different, very scared. We become so accustomed to feeling bad that the pain becomes our teddy bear or thumb to suck. When I put my first CD in yesterday, I had immediate heart palpitations and kept thinking this is going to be a lot of hard work, but anything good in this life is a lot of work--that's what I keep telling myself. I all ready feel more positive knowing that I'm not the only one that feels this way. It's absolutely wonderful to have this support to not feel alone in this, but you are right, Lisa, we should also discuss the good and great things that are happening to us as well. I'll start by saying last night at work, I had the best night I've had in a really long time--anxiety was way down--AWESOME!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:36 am

Thank you so much for that uplifting story. We all need reminders every day of the difference between focusing on the positive or negative. The difference between believing the program works or doesn't. You've proved it DOES work. Thank you. It's wonderful to see people like yourself get the help before they reach middle age or their kids are grown and gone.

BTTRFLY · Post by **BTTRFLY** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 4:34 am

thnak you all for your replies!
Let's keep it positive!
Add your positive stories, even if they are not finished yet!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:00 am

Love the positive thread!

It's all about being positive. 2 months ago I was not home bound, but bed bound. I literally did not leave my bed. Now I am doing anything and everything. Restaurants, shopping, dentist appointments. My quality of life has improved so much. Saturday and Tuesday I have interviews for jobs I'd really love to take and I am excited! It's strange thinking back to that time in my life when anxiety controlled nearly every decision I made and it's funny now how it hardly crosses my mind before I make a decision. Go to the mall? Sure, why not. Go out to eat? Let's do it. I mean, the only reason I ever thought I wasn't able to do those things are because I had put the idea in my head that I wasn't capable of doing them. It really is all about attitude. I really don't think there is anything I couldn't do now. There may be anxiety and hesitation, but I know I can do them and that makes a big difference.

Jweber is right, there is a lot of enabling here. My advice? Just keep it light and simple when it comes to websites like these and the people that use them. When I was very deep into my anxiety, I practically lived on this website and spent the majority of my time communicating with others who were also very anxious. I know for a while I found comfort in that, because I didn't feel so alone. But when you start to take that path of feeling better and WANTING deep down inside to change, I wouldn't say it's necessarily a choice to separate yourself from the negative, I think it just happens. You have less and less time for it, and that's how I think I knew I was finally starting to feel better. My desire to come here and to be a part of the self-pity just wasn't there anymore. And what I mean by light and simple is taking it in moderation and not wrapping yourself up in it. I come here sometimes with the occasional question, to get feedback, and to congratulate others on their victories, but I don't find comfort in being involved with this website anymore. I don't use it has a back up or as a safety net. And that's important!

Anyways, great post you have here. I am so glad that you've have come so far, I know I have come very far as well. And that means others have. Big pat on the back for all of us.

Really Rita · Post by **Really Rita** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:33 am

First off -- Congratulations on your success! It is an amazing thing when we start to see the changes we are making.

When I first started coming to the boards, it was to get advice and to feel like I wasn't alone. Of course!

When I was going through the program I came here and asked questions, posted roadblocks, and did share my successes. There's actually a WHOLE section of success stories that are very uplifting.

When I have growth spurts, I come here to post and chat. I am not ashamed of the situations that scare me, nor the anxiety that comes back with it. But coming here can center me. Having old friends that I trust (Mello Nello, BePositive, Schnauzermom, Boon and others). They have a great way of kicking me in the pants and reminding me just how strong I am.

This is a safe place for me to be scared, and I DO use the posts for that sometimes.

I also make it a point, to check the boards as often as I can, even in the good times, so that I can also offer the same support to people that has been offered to me. As a member of the the program program, I feel it's an honorable obligation to try to support each other.

I haven't seen any enabling. But, maybe I'm just not looking in the right place. I don't think I've seen anyone try to help people keep their bad habits. And that is sad if it's going on.

However, it is a great support to people for us to share our successes...I don't believe that we should discourage those who need to post about their problems. After all, you said it, this is a board for depression and anxiety.

And I also believe that we should take a little responsibility to what we read and expose ourselves to. We can easily bring ourselves down by focusing on negatives...so avoid those. But, don't go throwing the baby out with the bath water.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:44 am

Maybe we should post more on the Triumph section no matter how small of a triumph we think it may be.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:35 am

Lisa,

Not a bad post! My positive story would be finding this site, this forum, and the chat room.

Since my only ER visit for Anxiety in all my years, I was talking to a friend who recommended this website and since I have gotten on here and seen that I am not alone, I feel so much better.

I have gone a month w/o a panic attack and facing my anxiety a lot better these days.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:14 am

Hi Karilynn. Good to see ya, and i'm glad to hear that you're better. I dont come here as much anymore either. I don't struggle with anxiety anymore, but I do come to try and give advice. I also agree that there's way too much enabling going on here. I have never been an enabler, so when I have tried to help some people, they couldn't handle the message unless it was "sugar-coated". So, now I look over the threads and try to only lend a hand to the people that I know I can advise without the thread turning into an arguement. Even on the threads about drugs and alcohol, they want you to say that what they're doing is okay. There was even a post where this guy was trying to get us to condone his wanting to cheat on his wife???????????

I come here to help others now, but sometimes I wonder if I really can help them.