A Journal: In keeping with the spirit of Lesson 3

MC Grace · Post by **MC Grace** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 8:16 am

Hi everybody! NinjaFrodo's recent (tic mark) journal has me inspired. In an attempt to be more transparent and face down some stress--I, too am attempting a journal. (I don't have the tic mark assignment handy, so I'm just going to start journaling (and maybe I'll add the tic mark assignment to this later). . . In the meantime, I imagine this will be part vent, part turning positive into negative, and part thanksgiving. . .).
If anyone does care to comment on my entries, please feel free--and please be gentle.
Some background on me: I have done the program all the way through twice, and I continue to review materials so that I can maintain and improve my skills.

JOUNAL ENTRY 1

THANKSGIVING
Today I am happy that I placed an order for my business, because I was able to sell some products last night. This is encouraging because it keeps me involved in a business that has brought me a lot of joy. I was able to complete things in a disciplined, timely manner. I ordered very carefully, staying away from the "extras" that I was tempted to justify.
MORE THANKSGIVING
Also, I was able to have a bit of a serious discussion with a family member. She confided in me about how her finances have changed: I told her my weight

. It isn't very often that I get to have these "deeper" discussions, so I am grateful.

NEGATIVE to POSITIVE
THOUGHT #1
I am a bit disappointed that, despite rest, supplements, etc. I continue to fight off a sore throat and other germiness. This has bothered me for over a week. . . .
POSITIVE: At least I am well enough to get some things done that I've hoped to get done.

THOUGHT #2
With the gift-giving season upon us, I do not know what I can give as gifts. The family members to whom I'd like to give gifts are aware of my delicate financial situation--and don't seem to want me to give them gifts. I, however, would like to participate in the tradition. I would not mind giving handmade ornaments--but last time I did that, they took a lot of time to make and they did not seem appreciated.
POSITIVE:Well, I can look through some holiday and craft magazines/sites for ideas that might work. Maybe I can find a nice piece of writing for each person and print that out. . .

THOUGHT #3
I feel a bit overwhelmed about starting grad school in 2009. The school to which I was accepted is quite expensive. It seems foolish to go there if I don't get the full scholarship that I applied for.
POSITIVE: I can wait a few weeks to hear the results of the competition. If I need to, I can brainstorm other options.

Atl Sweet Pea · Post by **Atl Sweet Pea** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 8:29 am

You are so talented................let me help you with you "positives".
Personally I am highly intelligent, but do not even have an associates degree. I could run a fortune 500 company but have no credentials.

Read Phil 4:8 whatsoever things are pure, what soever things are lovely, what soever things are just what so eber things are of a good report, if there be any virture, if there be any praise..THINK.......... on These things.

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 8:32 am

Whoa! This is a great idea!

Tip: An old home remedy for sore throats in my family was to always get a brand new toothbrush, brand new toothpaste, and to gargle with warm salt water three times each day.

Another tip: Use empty coffee cans. Wrap them in Christmas gift paper. Line them with new plastic bags. Fill the bags with homemade cookies or homemade fudge. This is a gift everyone enjoys.

And is affordable.

workin mom · Post by **workin mom** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 8:53 am

I love the idea for your journal! I am five days into the program and have yet to start a journal, but you have inspired me. I am going to start writing at night before I go to bed and practice positive thinking.

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:58 am

I'm glad you were inspired by the journal thread. This will bring up so many insights you will be amazed. It is almost like opening yourself to the thoughts and ideas that the universe gives you.

Being greatful is a good idea because it really helps you to be more connected with the world and to realize the efforts of everyone to make goals possible.

I'd also like to suggest on thought #2. Some people really love getting consumeables for christmas. You could use the same idea that I've found, making Chutney!!! It's awesome because you can use it as a spread on bread or crackers, blend it up and use it for a soup or stew, mix it with fruit, marinade it with meats and it is relatively cheap to make.

Thought 3 seems good on its own

Mike

MC Grace · Post by **MC Grace** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:07 pm

Thanks for your kind replies. By the way, the initial journal I referred to is linked here: <A HREF="http://bbs.stresscenter.com/eve/forums/ ... 2821036885" TARGET=_blank>NinjaFrodo's Tic Mark Journal</A>. Mike's been doing it awhile: and updates daily/regularly! So, if you want another perspective, more inspiration to journal, etc. . . . check it out, too.

MC Grace · Post by **MC Grace** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 5:28 pm

I can't believe I began this journal only yesterday. It's helped so much already.

Thanksgiving #1
NinjaFrodo (aka "Mike") caught me up on the tic mark system that he uses. So I'm going to try to incorporate it this weekend. I think I'll try it for a couple of hours in the morning. In the afternoon I have some hours as a "shopgirl". The job is too new and the space to small for me to feel comfortable juggling the job and tics and marks! I am hopeful that even a couple of hours will be helpful.
Thanksgiving #2
I found a Stress Video that I had tucked away, out of harms way (the rest of my program got destroyed recently, long story, i'm planning to replace it, because I refer to it often). It was such a treat to pop that in and get a refresher from Lucinda.
Thanksgiving #3
I feel better (physically) and not as drained. That was quick! I think the tips and concern from my Stress friends really helped.

And now for some thought replacement:
Thought 1
My place is a mess.
POSITIVE
I made a difficult move (yes, I have moved a lot lately--and even this stay is short-term. hey, it's one way to see the world!

) just one week ago. Much of the move was smooth and efficient. It will take awhile to get adjusted to my new environment.
Thought 2
I wish I had more money.
POSITIVE
It is natural to want to buy more in this consumer culture. I have always had what I have needed and I always will.
Thought 3
I don't want to go to work tomorrow.
POSITIVE
I always have fun when I go to this job.

I also had a really great time at church tonight. If you're interested in the notes I took they are here: <A HREF="http://bbs.stresscenter.com/eve/forums? ... 1661097126" TARGET=_blank>Spirituality post</A>

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 1:05 am

Thank you for putting a link to my journal thread. I really hope we can inspire more people to start journalling on the website. There is alot of strength in numbers. Also people can see the reality that over coming anxiety and depression isn't an overnight thing. In the journals you get to see how the people are a little stronger the next day and the next week and I really feel that this is important.

As for the tic marking only for a couple of hours in the morning...Yes you are right it is still helpful...alot helpful! There are just some times when you cannot do it and we just have to accept it thats all. Eventually you'll start to see those times that you can't do it, you'll be doing it in your head automatically.

Now you are doing a great job with the thought replacements however, if i could just suggest something that may improve it just that much more.

Thought 1
My place is a mess.

(why is your place a mess? how does that make you feel?) This will give you perspective and allow you to accept that you have this negative thought just that much more.

Thought 2
I wish I had more money.

Why do you wish you had more money? does it make you anxious if you want to buy something and you can't?

Thought 3
I don't want to go to work tomorrow

Why do you feel this way?

Try doing your thought replacements like this for a short while and see how it makes you feel.

Mike

MC Grace · Post by **MC Grace** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:16 pm

so, workin mom, i'd love to know how your journal's going. . . .
ninja, thanks for the tips. . . . i'm a bit too tired to think it out just yet, but i think that strategy will be helpful.

JOURNAL ENTRY 3

Well, today was a lovely day. It wasn't so much different than most--but I think the tic mark excercise helped me be more conscious and disciplined. I did a good job of prioritizing: I think I did this (better time management) because I wanted to make sure that I incorporated the tic marking into my day. So having that goal helped me meet other goals, too!

In just 2 hours (not consecutive), I racked up 43! Wow, I really didn't expect that--yet, I persevered--and I am proud of my persistent positive attitude and accomplishments. As Ninja predicted, I ended up tallying in my head much of the time. It was bothersome to keep pulling out pen and paper as I went about my business. So I set the paper down in one spot, as I did chores at home, and kept track in my head until I got to about 5 and then wrote them down.

In doing this excercise, I realized that I had gotten really good at giving myself positive feedback. Still I was "beating myself up" pretty significantly. And I was critical of others more than I care to admit. Thirdly, I was less than hopeful about my future: until I turned negatives into positives.

So that's it for today. I've been on my feet for several hours, and I really want to take out my contacts and make some tea. Oh, but first. . .

Thanksgiving #1 I am home, safe and sound
Thanksgiving #2 I am listening to some good (jazz) music
Thanksgiving #3 I am inside where it's warm.
Thanksgiving #4 I had a great slice of birthday cake, today
Thanksgiving #5 I was good about drinking water today

MC Grace · Post by **MC Grace** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 4:20 pm

JOURNAL ENTRY 4

Today was at times more wonderful and more disappointing than usual. Weekend days are often that way for me. I won't get into why. NinjaF brought up a good point--it's often good to examine the "why" behind my negative thoughts. . . . And, actually, I often do. But for my journaling purposes right now--I don't think I'll get into it explicitly.

Thanksgiving #1
I got to church. I saw a new friend. She was as happy to see me, as I her.
Thanksgiving #2
I got to listen to a favorite radio show.
Thanksgiving #3
I did some reading in an intriguing book.

The tic marking was interesting. Again I did it for about 2 hrs. (in 1 hr and 30 min. time blocks).
This time however I tallied about 13 (which is drastically lower than yesterday.)
I attribute this to being tired (I had stayed up to watch a late movie). . . and having some leisure time. I ended doing the tic marking while I was "relaxing". I was happily occupied with favorite weekend activities at first. Later I was on the bus, and I pretty much let myself zone out. . . enjoying the city scenery and overheard discussions.