What have you done?

Inside Man · Post by **Inside Man** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:07 am

Hello everyone,
I'm 44 years old. I've had stress, anxiety, depression, and mild OCD all my life and now I'm doing better than ever before in my life. There's so many things I would like to try and do. We are going to the beach next week. Good or bad weather, I'm still going to enjoy myself. One thing I want to do is parasailing. I've never done it before. I'm giving it a shot.
Question: If you didn't have these conditions, what would you do? Or, if you're over it, what have you done, big or small?
I am just curious. I've been through the program once and going through it again. I'm on Session 4.

Inside Man

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:29 am

Inside Man,,,what a great post. I am so encouraged by your drive and enthusiasm for life and cannot wait to get to that point. I am gradually getting better only in week three for the first time. I was at the beach the other day and saw someone parasailing and thought wow,,maybe someday I will do that. Never have thought that way before...I look forward to traveling without great fear, riding in elevators without wanting to run, camping, and just getting through a day without a lot of focus on anxiety...small steps, not very lofty goals at this point but nevertheless important ones....Go Get Um!!!

horsemama2 · Post by **horsemama2** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:26 am

Oh, I'd love to be able to go back to work. I was in accounting, though, and my memory and mental capacity are diminshed.
Of course, I'd have to put my child in daycare, but I'm hoping to have improved enough when she goes to school that I can have a job, no matter what kind.
I think the worst consequence of this disease is not trusting people/not letting go. It's so hard to open up to people when you know you're going to be judged. Everybody always has such an easy solution to your problems. I realize it's hard for others to understand.
I think I could reach out more if I didn't feel so comfortable in my own little four walls. It's just so hard to open up to people so I'm denying myself relationships with good people.
I'm more ocmfortabel on this forum, in all honesty, because there is no face to face contact or groups. Really, I remain anonymous- just a name who has her ups and downs. You hear from me intermittently, but I never give anyone the chance to really get to know me in person.
I am working on having more goals. I think you had a great post!

~*schnauzermom*~ · Post by **~*schnauzermom*~** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 9:35 am

Inside Man: Congratulations on your successes to this point. Well done. My two cents as to your situation: 1. you need to congratulate your self on your progress....be supportive of what you've done. 2. you've identified a goal...again well done, identifying it is a huge step in the right direction. 3. anxiety aside, think about or plan the steps you'd have to do to get this arranged. Where do you go? How much is it? How long for a lesson or renting a board? Etc. This is simply part of good planning....but also tell yourself you can't plan for everything and know that if a curve ball happens, oh well, no harm done. 4. Get a little more technical on this activity versus anxiety...as in, what do you think could happen? What exactly do you think you are afraid of? Identify those and then decatastophize them or realize there is a very small probability of this happening. 5. Depending on where you are at I'd suggest either setting it up or doing a dry run (going there, checking it out, watching others). See if any new anxiety comes up or if anxiety over issues you've identified come up, use your preplanning work to address those issues, ride them out, and realize they aren't valid. 6. Finally, have an awesome time parasailing and let us know how much fun you had!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 9:40 am

Great Post & Great Answers! B4 & after treatment (therapy/meds) I have travelled extensively. Africa (Kenya, the island of Waa), Iceland--staying w/a friend of my husband), Germany (Salzburg), the Orkeny Islands of Scotland. Swimming in the ocean off the island of Harris, Scotland. Travel is amazing. I HATE airports but love "being there" in a new place, meeting people who can tell me(& my husband) about the history, lore, and FOOD/Drink of their homeland. I've also dared to submit poems/short stories to various journals. Many rejections but!! some accepted. Just this past winter, I joined some discussion groups at the local Sr. Center (I just turned 55 so am allowed into the classes/clubs there). Fascinating! Debating philosophy with people in Socrates Cafe' is envigorating. Talking about current events with 20+ other people 55-95! Working in the lobby of the theater where my husband acts in plays. Going to cast parties with him. This is stuff I'd have been Terrified to do before getting on a GOOD combo of medications & meeting w/my wonderful, jovial therapist every 4 weeks. My husband is a JOY, he is so supportive. I had to quit working 2 years ago due to severe OCD. I had been a special ed' teacher's aide & had been given the task of changing a 15 year old's diapers 3-4X/day. Just couldn't do it, especially when they ran out of sterile gloves! Anyhow, wish I could be earning $$ but I worked hard from age 15-53 & my husband says it's AOK for me to Enjoy Life as a Retired Woman.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 9:42 am

Bev: It is hard for non-anxious people to "get it", I 100% agree. But you don't need them to get it, this is about you, not them. Opening up to people, not trusting people, etc....what is the worst these people can do to you? Some of fighting with Mr. Anxiety comes back to telling him that you are in charge. I'm not saying it is easy so I'm not trying to be trite. It isn't easy, but it something you need to stay on top of in order to change your thinking...it doesn't happen overnight. But it is a matter of telling Mr. Anxiety that you don't care what he says or what other people say. You are fine, you are in control of what you do and how you feel. When you aren't trusting someone or not feeling comfortable, you almost need this mantra to keep telling yourself that other people's opinions or judgements are their problem, it can't hurt you! Stay with it, even when it doesn't feel it is working, stay with it....you've found giving in to it isn't helping so what do you have to lose? Go, Bev!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 11:05 am

Irish, You are right. It's a bad way of thinking to overcome. People can be so cruel with gossip, forming cliches and such, and it's scary to put yourself out there when there's social anxiety and a tremendous fear of rejection. But you do have to reach a point where you say, "I can't control their thinking so let them think what they want." You hit it on the head when you say worrying about it doens't help at all.
I go to Sunday school and never say a word. I keep going back to the old "if I don't say anything, they'll think I'm stupid; if I do open my mouth, they'll know it for sure." I do that in any group whether it's famiy or friends. I tried to tell myself that you learn more by listening, but the truth is that I'm scared to look stupid. I tried to speak in front of my in-laws the other day and got tongue-ties, stuttered, and lost my train of thought. I wanted to crawl under a rock and thought how much better it'd have been if I'd kept quiet.
But I think, and hope, that realizing the problem gives you a start in making progess. I know what I need to work on. Make that something else I need to work on- lol.
It's a pretty good lack of confidence and self-esteem, and feeling comfortable with myself. I remember my first marriage and how I froze when they played the bridal march and everyone turned around to look at me.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:08 pm

Hello ,Insideman;

Other than Anxiety and related symptoms ,I am different than most people here

not a bad thing )
Not so long ago I did things that some people only dream about . I have different belifes . I Push the envelope as far as hobbies go .

I travel alot , Example; I always wanted to go into the Amazon and see first hand the different tribes and the strange creatures and insects , I saw on several shows ralated to the RainForrest (deforestation ) and indigenous people . One day I woke up ,went on-line and bought a ticket and tour to the Galapago Islands off the coast of Ecuador ,from there I trecked into what is know as the ORIENTE (not Asia );the gateway to the Amazon region. I did this trip in three weeks out of a backpack and a paraglider .
I have over 300 skydiving jumps ,alot of them high altitude openings and some with the golden knights . Base jump , WW/rafting, cliff dive ,hiked dormant volcanos in the Andian region ,Soared high peaks(14,000+) with Andean Condors (7 foot wing span) .Stood at the middle of the earth ,where longitude and latitude lines cross .

I have co-founded Mentor programs ,swam with fish bigger than me , served on the Community Developement Board ,volunteered with many organizations from Habittat for humanity to the United way ; the list is longer . I have been to so many countries and places that they are too many to mention .

A spell ago My life started to change .I shut down is the best way I can discribe it .I started experincing symptoms you and many others here are familiar with .

Make a long post short ; I have started fulfilling these dreams again ,my friends are glad I am coming out again and that I am my living on the edge self . Life to me is as prescious as everyone else here , I just have a different Idea as to how to give my life meaning , that doent make me a bad guy or crazy .

Anyway; to answer your question; You can accomplish anyting you set out to do ,you just have to want it bad enough.

Dont ever let anyone tell you it is wrong to want to fullfil your dreams just because it doesnt sit well with them .

When the last chapter of my life is written there will be little if any regrets at all .

My greatest accomplisment since starting
this program? being able to say LIFE IS GOOD and feel it .
PS;
between yesterday and today I logged on 9 1/2 hrs on my paraglider (not to be confused with parasailing )
OH did I mention I met and married my soulmate 32yrs ago,have 5 children(grown ) 5 grandchildren and 2 more on the way ,boy am I glad I can always bring them back to their parents

Carry on !!!!