I am so frustrated with this. I can't stand this feeling. Does anyone else relate to this claustrophobic trapped in danger kind of feeling?
Jill~
"TRAPPED"
That's the word that I am catching myself using more and more as I try to deal with this panic and anxiety. In two weeks of journaling it came up 14 times. Like feeling trapped in the car, trapped in traffic,trapped at church,trapped in the bathroom, trapped in an elevator, trapped at someones house in their bathroom, etc etc. Claustrophobic confinement kind of trapped. I knew it was an issue but I didn't realize it was so much so.I thought it was funny how Lucinda talks about fearin Running out of church screaming , fearing an attack and so on, and how that never happens. Well it has happened for me I have jumped of buses, left cars in the parking lot, and took of walking and a few times almost running to get away from that trapped feeling.
I am so frustrated with this. I can't stand this feeling. Does anyone else relate to this claustrophobic trapped in danger kind of feeling?
Jill~
I am so frustrated with this. I can't stand this feeling. Does anyone else relate to this claustrophobic trapped in danger kind of feeling?
Jill~
-
Guest
Yes, I can relate and have been there, and still have some issues, but I'm much better.
I'll be honest with you that I do look at childhood issues and trauma and how they relate to my anxiety. I grew up in a dysfunctional abusive home, and there were several instances in which I was trapped as a child in unsafe situations. Children are completely helpless and dependent on the adults around them so those situations cause major trauma.
As an adult, dealing with anxiety, a counselor really helped me see that I wasn't the same trapped helpless child. As adults, we most likely always have choices and freedom. I know you often speak of your Christianity, and so I feel comfortable telling you that Jesus loves it when we know we have freedom and choice, and of course choose to do good with that choice. Doesn't it just feel comforting to know that? Also, a scripture that helped me that I can't remember the exact number, etc.that spoke of "He rides on the clouds" helped me to go on a long trip where I normally would have felt trapped in a car because it reminded me of no matter where I am God is riding on a cloud going with me:)! Also, another scripture said "He goes before you and hems you in" meaning that his love surrounds you everywhere you are. Even the Holy Spirit leads and gently guides us, but never forces us.
So, what has helped me with that is several things. 1. First of all knowing how much Jesus loves freedom and that He's not the one guiding me into feeling trapped. Also these specific affirmations have helped me. "1. I am free to come and go as I please. 2. I am an adult now, and this is my choice to be in this car, at this place...If I choose to leave it's no big deal. 3. That was when I was a helpless child and had no choice. I am an adult now and I know how to talk to myself, comfort myself, and take care of myself. 4. I make good decisions about my welfare."
Really those things go right along with this program. If you are on the freeway, just know you can always pull over. If you had a bladder condition, no one would think anything of you getting up and going to the bathroom frequently, so why not the same for anxiety if you need to know you have a choice about coming and going. You just always remind yourself that you are an adult with choice. The truth is that we are never really trapped. Even if we are stuck on a train we can tell ourselves, "it's only such and such minutes to the next stop. I made a choice to ride this train, and I am going to entertain myself with something fun. I am not trapped, etc."
Hope something I said helps in some way. This actually reminds me of how far I've come with that, and so maybe that will give you some hope that it won't always be this way. You are not trapped, and claustrophibia is extremely common so you aren't unusual:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
I'll be honest with you that I do look at childhood issues and trauma and how they relate to my anxiety. I grew up in a dysfunctional abusive home, and there were several instances in which I was trapped as a child in unsafe situations. Children are completely helpless and dependent on the adults around them so those situations cause major trauma.
As an adult, dealing with anxiety, a counselor really helped me see that I wasn't the same trapped helpless child. As adults, we most likely always have choices and freedom. I know you often speak of your Christianity, and so I feel comfortable telling you that Jesus loves it when we know we have freedom and choice, and of course choose to do good with that choice. Doesn't it just feel comforting to know that? Also, a scripture that helped me that I can't remember the exact number, etc.that spoke of "He rides on the clouds" helped me to go on a long trip where I normally would have felt trapped in a car because it reminded me of no matter where I am God is riding on a cloud going with me:)! Also, another scripture said "He goes before you and hems you in" meaning that his love surrounds you everywhere you are. Even the Holy Spirit leads and gently guides us, but never forces us.
So, what has helped me with that is several things. 1. First of all knowing how much Jesus loves freedom and that He's not the one guiding me into feeling trapped. Also these specific affirmations have helped me. "1. I am free to come and go as I please. 2. I am an adult now, and this is my choice to be in this car, at this place...If I choose to leave it's no big deal. 3. That was when I was a helpless child and had no choice. I am an adult now and I know how to talk to myself, comfort myself, and take care of myself. 4. I make good decisions about my welfare."
Really those things go right along with this program. If you are on the freeway, just know you can always pull over. If you had a bladder condition, no one would think anything of you getting up and going to the bathroom frequently, so why not the same for anxiety if you need to know you have a choice about coming and going. You just always remind yourself that you are an adult with choice. The truth is that we are never really trapped. Even if we are stuck on a train we can tell ourselves, "it's only such and such minutes to the next stop. I made a choice to ride this train, and I am going to entertain myself with something fun. I am not trapped, etc."
Hope something I said helps in some way. This actually reminds me of how far I've come with that, and so maybe that will give you some hope that it won't always be this way. You are not trapped, and claustrophibia is extremely common so you aren't unusual:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
-
Guest
Luvpiggy
Thank You for responding and your very kind words. You have helped just by caring and I will look up those scriptures . I can probably find them on biblegateway.com.
I too had some traumatic childhood experiences with abuse and a violent one at that and so I am sure that plays a factor.I think the fact that I often don't feel safe and that I may be attacked again confirms that. Hubby wanted me to wear heels to church one Sunday and I said "I can't do that what if I have to run away to safety somewhere?" He looked at me with a strange look like "geez honey" and when I said that outloud I realized something was not right there. Feeling unsafe and in possibel danger was right there front and center in my noggin and I wasn't even aware I was doing that to myself?
You are right I can chose to be out of those situation as an adult. I have to keep that in my mind and focus on that and absorb it.
Thank You so very much I appreciate your insights.
xo
J~
Thank You for responding and your very kind words. You have helped just by caring and I will look up those scriptures . I can probably find them on biblegateway.com.
I too had some traumatic childhood experiences with abuse and a violent one at that and so I am sure that plays a factor.I think the fact that I often don't feel safe and that I may be attacked again confirms that. Hubby wanted me to wear heels to church one Sunday and I said "I can't do that what if I have to run away to safety somewhere?" He looked at me with a strange look like "geez honey" and when I said that outloud I realized something was not right there. Feeling unsafe and in possibel danger was right there front and center in my noggin and I wasn't even aware I was doing that to myself?
You are right I can chose to be out of those situation as an adult. I have to keep that in my mind and focus on that and absorb it.
Thank You so very much I appreciate your insights.
xo
J~
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Guest
Thank you, and I'm so glad something I said helped:). Also, I just want to say, high heels or not, you will be the first one to take care of yourself during an emergency:). Survivors of child abuse are the best "survivors" overall. We can feel so weak, have all of these phobias, but when it comes to emergencies, we are the ones that know what to do and are very strong. Surviving abuse when you are a helpless child means that you are strong and can definitely survive when you are an adult who has choices, wisdom, etc. In other words, you've already survived the worst!:) Maybe that will help you so you will know that you don't have to always be on guard. A book that may help reassure you is called "The Gift of Fear". It talks about intuition in survival situations, and lets you know that you don't have to always be on guard because when it is a real emergency or real danger, your intuition will tell you and there will be signs. Child abuse survivors have excellent intuition that I believe comes from God. I hope that makes sense.
Take care,
luvpiggy
Take care,
luvpiggy
-
Guest
Luvpiggy
Wow that really made me tear up. The "worst has already happened" it's a done deal. I guess you are right and I need to stop being so scared all the time waiting to be assaulted? I look over my shoulder, I fear walking alone, I park close to the store. Yes all common sense but mostly because I am wanting to be ready for it this time. Assuming there Will Be another time.That makes me weary just writing it down. Being on alert makes me tired. I will look for that book for sure. It's hard to imagine fear being a gift but I am very interested in learning what it has to say.What you shared does make sense to me. Thanks so much
Jill~
Wow that really made me tear up. The "worst has already happened" it's a done deal. I guess you are right and I need to stop being so scared all the time waiting to be assaulted? I look over my shoulder, I fear walking alone, I park close to the store. Yes all common sense but mostly because I am wanting to be ready for it this time. Assuming there Will Be another time.That makes me weary just writing it down. Being on alert makes me tired. I will look for that book for sure. It's hard to imagine fear being a gift but I am very interested in learning what it has to say.What you shared does make sense to me. Thanks so much
Jill~
-
Guest
Now if I could just get a grip on the positive thought replacement. I was so sick to my stomach last night and was feeling a little claustrophobic in the bathroom.Then is got worse as my hubby was awake and kept asking me if he could get in there? Then since we only have one bathroom it was torture. I was so very panicky to the point of cold sweats and dizziness and I was already nauseated so that didn't help. I kept trying to calm myself down and do my breathing but it was torture. When I went thru the program last time I got stuck on week 3 and here I am again on week 3 and stuck again. I seem to not have words that I believe?
I spent alot of time praying for God to calm my heart and mind and to help me stay focused on reality and not panic..but my agitation just escalated? Ugh this is so overwhelming and I am wondering if recovery is going to happen the way I hoped
J~
I spent alot of time praying for God to calm my heart and mind and to help me stay focused on reality and not panic..but my agitation just escalated? Ugh this is so overwhelming and I am wondering if recovery is going to happen the way I hoped
J~
-
Guest
Hi Jill, you will recover - I know it - because you are not alone in this and you are looking to the Lord Jesus for help. I'm not very good at being patient either but I know I have learned things going through the program and I am going through it again. We didn't get this way overnight and usually won't come out overnight either! Although, I wouldn't oppose that at all!!! 
I, too, was discouraged when after going through the program, I wasn't all better but I realized that it is a process and I am not where I was and not where I want to be - yet. You hang in there and keep taking those steps forward. BTW - I am in Colorado Springs now - I'll be giving you a call in a day or so.
Just to let you know, I had heart palpitations the whole way out here and still having them today - I guess they didn't want to miss beautiful Colorado! I am really stretching myself coming on this trip but God has given us favor and I am so blessed to be here. Talk to you soon. Tammy
I, too, was discouraged when after going through the program, I wasn't all better but I realized that it is a process and I am not where I was and not where I want to be - yet. You hang in there and keep taking those steps forward. BTW - I am in Colorado Springs now - I'll be giving you a call in a day or so. Just to let you know, I had heart palpitations the whole way out here and still having them today - I guess they didn't want to miss beautiful Colorado! I am really stretching myself coming on this trip but God has given us favor and I am so blessed to be here. Talk to you soon. Tammy
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Guest
Tammy
whoohooo. I am so glad you are here and I am so proud of you!! You made it
Thanks for the kind words. I really need them tonight.3 cheers for the Baby Steps!! Gotta love em, they get us to where we need to go. You my friend made a ginormous step coming here to Colorado. I am excited about all your prospects here.
blessings,
Jilly~
whoohooo. I am so glad you are here and I am so proud of you!! You made it
Thanks for the kind words. I really need them tonight.3 cheers for the Baby Steps!! Gotta love em, they get us to where we need to go. You my friend made a ginormous step coming here to Colorado. I am excited about all your prospects here.
blessings,
Jilly~
-
Guest
Hi,
I agree with Tammy:). You are going to get better:). I also wanted to recommend another book by Dr. Henry Cloud a Christian psychologist called, "Changes that Heal". It's really good at pointing out all of the elements of healing such as time, grace, and truth. It was neat that when I bought the book, I had just started to get better, but I couldn't put my finger on the one thing that got me better. It all just seemed to come together, and this program was definitely one of the components. The book pointed out that there is often "harvest time" in emotional healing where you can't always put your finger on one thing, but all of your hard work comes together and you reap the harvest:). However, when you are sewing and planting, it's hard to believe that there will be the harvest time. So, just think of yourself as being a farmer who is planting seeds right now. When you are speaking the positive affirmations and self-talk, you are planting the seeds, and seeds to do not turn into mature plants overnight as Tammy was saying:). But without planting the seeds you are never going to get your harvest...in other words, what you are doing is important even though you can't see the results yet:).
Also, I wanted to add a little about "The Gift of Fear". I know it is hard to imagine fear being a gift, and the title alone would upset most people with anxiety:). That being said, God has given us an autonomic nervous system our fight or flight system to protect ourselves from real danger. It knows what to do and when to do it. It is very powerful. As a child who was abused, your autonomic nervous system was on for many, many formative years to keep you alive. In other words, it is used to being on and going full throttle. Now, that you are out of the abuse, it is still on when you don't need it to be. In fact, until you learn different coping skills such as comforting self-talk, etc., it will stay on when you don't need it. Exercise also helps to rid your body of excess adrenaline, and it is very possible that you have a condition known as adrenal fatigue. It's not a scary condition, it just means that your adrenal system was full throttle for so long that you have lots of stress hormones built up in your system, and your adrenal gland is probably larger than it should be. There is a great chapter on adrenal fatigue in a book called "The Anxiety Cure" by a Christian Psychologist. I don't agree with everything in the book, but that chapter on adrenal fatigue hit the nail on the head for me. I did need a period of rest, exercise, etc. to let my adrenal system heal.
Also, when you try to take conscious control over it, such as thinking of all of the scenarios where someone could attack you, you are keeping it on when it doesn't need to be on. You have to learn that it will let you know when there is real danger and do its job. Of course, that takes time. So, that is the "Gift of Fear" that the author is talking about ...he's not talking about being afraid and thinking of all of the possible dangerous scenarios all day long. He's talking about letting your intuition tell you that something is up when there is a real danger and trusting it to alarm you like a smoke detector when there is an actual fire. It is a gift that kept you alive when you needed it as a child, but now, it is time to turn it off and trust that it will do its job when the time arises without it having to be on 24/7. Again, it is going to take work, time, hope, and patience, but I promise you that it will happen:). If someone hadn't seen me for five years, and saw me now and all that I was doing now compared to then...they would freak out:). I did have to give myself time, truth, and grace:). I am also raising a son with severe autism, so I am someone who will always be under stress, but I still have times of great peace which would have never been possible just five years ago. Go through the program, but don't put too much pressure on yourself. I know you want to feel better, and it will happen when you least expect it:).
Oh, one time I wrote on here to think of your body as a race car that has been going 90 to nothing and slams on the breaks. The car has stopped, but the engine is steaming hot and the car is still rattling. It's going to take time for it to cool off after going at full speed for so long even though you stopped it by slamming on the breaks. So, the things that you are doing in this program are like you have slammed on the breaks, but your body is still rushing with adrenaline as if it were still hot like the race car, but that doesn't mean you haven't stopped and that what you have done isn't working:).
Finally, another good book for healing is "Released From Shame". From reading this book, I realized that a lot of us with anxiety really shame ourselves for having this condition. We do want to get better and healing should be our focus, but loving ourselves into feeling better is the way to go instead of using shame. When we release ourselves from shame over our anxiety and quit using shame to beat ourselves into getting better so that we will finally be "good enough", that is really when the healing begins. One thing that really helped me in the book that you may be able to relate to as a survivor of child abuse is that we should never shame ourselves for the symptoms we have because of the abuse which would include anxiety and abandonment. I really struggled with feelings of abandonment which caused me to have massive dependency on my husband. I shamed myself for that and so did many others around me. Sometimes, the shame would serve as a motivator, but it didn't cause long term progress and often hindered my healing. When I learned to let go of the shame, and be motivated by love for myself to pursue a path of healing is when I made the most progress. I'm not perfect, and I have my moments because of all of the trauma, but I am tons better:)!
Hope something I said helps in some way:)! Hang in there, you most certainly do have a lot of hope and you will get better:)!
Take care,
luvpiggy
I agree with Tammy:). You are going to get better:). I also wanted to recommend another book by Dr. Henry Cloud a Christian psychologist called, "Changes that Heal". It's really good at pointing out all of the elements of healing such as time, grace, and truth. It was neat that when I bought the book, I had just started to get better, but I couldn't put my finger on the one thing that got me better. It all just seemed to come together, and this program was definitely one of the components. The book pointed out that there is often "harvest time" in emotional healing where you can't always put your finger on one thing, but all of your hard work comes together and you reap the harvest:). However, when you are sewing and planting, it's hard to believe that there will be the harvest time. So, just think of yourself as being a farmer who is planting seeds right now. When you are speaking the positive affirmations and self-talk, you are planting the seeds, and seeds to do not turn into mature plants overnight as Tammy was saying:). But without planting the seeds you are never going to get your harvest...in other words, what you are doing is important even though you can't see the results yet:).
Also, I wanted to add a little about "The Gift of Fear". I know it is hard to imagine fear being a gift, and the title alone would upset most people with anxiety:). That being said, God has given us an autonomic nervous system our fight or flight system to protect ourselves from real danger. It knows what to do and when to do it. It is very powerful. As a child who was abused, your autonomic nervous system was on for many, many formative years to keep you alive. In other words, it is used to being on and going full throttle. Now, that you are out of the abuse, it is still on when you don't need it to be. In fact, until you learn different coping skills such as comforting self-talk, etc., it will stay on when you don't need it. Exercise also helps to rid your body of excess adrenaline, and it is very possible that you have a condition known as adrenal fatigue. It's not a scary condition, it just means that your adrenal system was full throttle for so long that you have lots of stress hormones built up in your system, and your adrenal gland is probably larger than it should be. There is a great chapter on adrenal fatigue in a book called "The Anxiety Cure" by a Christian Psychologist. I don't agree with everything in the book, but that chapter on adrenal fatigue hit the nail on the head for me. I did need a period of rest, exercise, etc. to let my adrenal system heal.
Also, when you try to take conscious control over it, such as thinking of all of the scenarios where someone could attack you, you are keeping it on when it doesn't need to be on. You have to learn that it will let you know when there is real danger and do its job. Of course, that takes time. So, that is the "Gift of Fear" that the author is talking about ...he's not talking about being afraid and thinking of all of the possible dangerous scenarios all day long. He's talking about letting your intuition tell you that something is up when there is a real danger and trusting it to alarm you like a smoke detector when there is an actual fire. It is a gift that kept you alive when you needed it as a child, but now, it is time to turn it off and trust that it will do its job when the time arises without it having to be on 24/7. Again, it is going to take work, time, hope, and patience, but I promise you that it will happen:). If someone hadn't seen me for five years, and saw me now and all that I was doing now compared to then...they would freak out:). I did have to give myself time, truth, and grace:). I am also raising a son with severe autism, so I am someone who will always be under stress, but I still have times of great peace which would have never been possible just five years ago. Go through the program, but don't put too much pressure on yourself. I know you want to feel better, and it will happen when you least expect it:).
Oh, one time I wrote on here to think of your body as a race car that has been going 90 to nothing and slams on the breaks. The car has stopped, but the engine is steaming hot and the car is still rattling. It's going to take time for it to cool off after going at full speed for so long even though you stopped it by slamming on the breaks. So, the things that you are doing in this program are like you have slammed on the breaks, but your body is still rushing with adrenaline as if it were still hot like the race car, but that doesn't mean you haven't stopped and that what you have done isn't working:).
Finally, another good book for healing is "Released From Shame". From reading this book, I realized that a lot of us with anxiety really shame ourselves for having this condition. We do want to get better and healing should be our focus, but loving ourselves into feeling better is the way to go instead of using shame. When we release ourselves from shame over our anxiety and quit using shame to beat ourselves into getting better so that we will finally be "good enough", that is really when the healing begins. One thing that really helped me in the book that you may be able to relate to as a survivor of child abuse is that we should never shame ourselves for the symptoms we have because of the abuse which would include anxiety and abandonment. I really struggled with feelings of abandonment which caused me to have massive dependency on my husband. I shamed myself for that and so did many others around me. Sometimes, the shame would serve as a motivator, but it didn't cause long term progress and often hindered my healing. When I learned to let go of the shame, and be motivated by love for myself to pursue a path of healing is when I made the most progress. I'm not perfect, and I have my moments because of all of the trauma, but I am tons better:)!
Hope something I said helps in some way:)! Hang in there, you most certainly do have a lot of hope and you will get better:)!
Take care,
luvpiggy
-
Guest
I have really enjoyed reading this thread, and have received so much comfort. as I relate to SO much of what you are feeling, jillzmind, also to your experiences. Sometimes the trapped feeling is so intense- like claustrophobia, even thinking about the sky being overcast, or not being able to see the horizon I get a smothered trapped feeling and suddenly it's difficult to breathe and I start getting the cold sweat and feeling light headed, even just thinking about my lungs encased in my chest, being "trapped" there, or being trapped in a bathroom, a meeting, a store, a car, a bus... luvpiggy and jillzmind, your words are so comforting and validating and affirming. Thank you guys for exploring and discoursing on this topic. You help me so much here. I'm sure others of us have benefitted from this thread too. Hugs! (Light, non-trapping ones! hahaha)