I have always seemed to be able to hide my depression and angry feelings from the world. Most people that know me would not even believe that could have this problem. I always hear; You are such a strong person, I don't know how you get through some of your problems.
I find that I feel like I am going through the motions everyday, just to get through the day. Nothing is exciting, nothing makes me feel happy, and I feel like my life has been of no consequence to anyone. Most of the time I feel as though I am invisible and if I disappeared today, most people would not even realize that I was gone. I am really hoping that this program will stifle some of these feelings so that I can finish out the rest of my life feeling as though I meant something to this world.
Hidden Depression
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Guest
I know the feeling! I have felt even more like a loser when a person I really admire tells me stuff like that. "If they only knew the real me!" The ideas of us being frauds is addressed in the program. I am on my second go round. I was really bad off when I first went through it and now am so much happier/healthier, but I still need to work a little on the hidden depression that's left, too.
The program won't stifle the feelings but will show you again and again that you are worthy of a good life, and help you recognize the negative junk you tell yourself to keep yourself down and "safe". I read your profile and think you matter so much more than you will give yourself credit for! What an amazing career and education!!! And two sweetie kids! Who you are is important to them, no matter what lies you tell yourself. Stay consistent and honest in this program, "talk" to the vets on this board, and you are going to find out how high you can fly!
The program won't stifle the feelings but will show you again and again that you are worthy of a good life, and help you recognize the negative junk you tell yourself to keep yourself down and "safe". I read your profile and think you matter so much more than you will give yourself credit for! What an amazing career and education!!! And two sweetie kids! Who you are is important to them, no matter what lies you tell yourself. Stay consistent and honest in this program, "talk" to the vets on this board, and you are going to find out how high you can fly!
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Guest
Wow... you sound SO much like I did! And those were the feelings that convinced me to order the program. I wouldn't have actively sought out suicide, but I just didn't want to live that way any more--where life holds no fun, no excitement, no enjoyment--everything is gray, dull... watching all your friends have fun and adventures and humor in their lives, while we just go through the motions of every day, no joy, no fun... just basically existing in nothingness. Sound familiar? I have been there and with the help of this program, I am slowly starting to climb out of that hole. I used to never take time off from work because I knew I wouldn't be able to enjoy it--would just sit at home being depressed, thinking scary thoughts, etc. Just didn't want to live my life that way any more. I had seen the infomercials for a long time and finally thought if I don't want to live anymore, it is way past time to get some help. So hang in there, work the program; and you WILL start to come out of the cave you've been in and feel alive again. Trust me--it will work for you! And you have everyone here to talk to as well, which definitely helps me BIG TIME. God bless you and hang in there--there are others who know how you feel and have been there and are making themselves better. You can do it too. And by the way--even though you don't feel that way right now, YOU DO MATTER!
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Guest
Thank you for your responses, it is comforting to know that I am not going crazy. TDub, you hit the nail on the head, you are decribing me exactly. When you said that you wouldn't take time off work, I was floored. This is what I do but never thought it was due to this condition, I thought I was just saving time. I always have to scramble at the end of the fiscal year to use up vacation time so that I wont loss it.
Update: I have been using this program for 4 days now, and believe it or not, I can already see and feel a difference. The motivational tape has actually allowed me to sleep a few nights all the way through. I actually took my daughter outside and played in the snow WITH her and not just watch her. If I am seeing and feeling differently already, I can't imagine what this will be like at the end of the program.
Thanks again for your responses.
Update: I have been using this program for 4 days now, and believe it or not, I can already see and feel a difference. The motivational tape has actually allowed me to sleep a few nights all the way through. I actually took my daughter outside and played in the snow WITH her and not just watch her. If I am seeing and feeling differently already, I can't imagine what this will be like at the end of the program.
Thanks again for your responses.