need positive response re: marital infidelity

Learn how to comfort yourself, encourage yourself, and like yourself. This session is chock-full of POWERFUL tools for taking charge and changing your life for the better.
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Hkcausey
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jan 10, 2010 1:26 pm

Post by Hkcausey » Tue Jan 26, 2010 8:40 am

Hi, I haven't seen anything re: marriage and infidelity. I'm separated from my husband b/c he had an affair. It seems most all my negative thoughts are regarding the affair & the details I know about it and the other woman, how do I assign a positive thought to this. Even thinking of my husbands name brings anxiety...Please if anybody can think of a positive thought please let me know. I feel this is consuming me. thank you so much

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:09 am

This is a hard situation that you find yourself in.
But you can do this.
As you journal a few things about this situation , you can counter with the idea that this situation is allowing you to work on yourself.
You can suggest to yourself that your happiness and completeness does not come from another person. You are your own best friend. You can and will get over this grief.
You will tell yourself that you will feel the pain completely and then you will move on.
You will tell yourself that the other woman is just a woman like any other. And that she really didn't take anything from you.
You will tell yourself to reach out to new and dif. friends.
And work the program and grow.
Not the easiest things to do.
But others before you have done it.
My very best to you!!!
Good luck!!

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Jan 27, 2010 4:54 am

Thank you so much, that helps, it brought tears to my eyes knowing it is possible. thank you again!

Guest

Post by Guest » Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:20 am

You will tell yourself that the other woman is just a woman like any other. And that she really didn't take anything from you.
Briarpatch, can you explain this better to me? I don't really understand.
Thank you

Guest

Post by Guest » Thu Feb 04, 2010 9:48 am

Hi:
If you tell yourself that the 'other woman' is a big bad ogre you will increase your anger and all other bad feelings. Which is so bad for your health.
But if you realize that when she got your ex, that she really didn't steal him. You don't know what he told her. A lot of women would not go with a married man. I know.
But people do it. And if a man strays, then
you'd lost him anyway. That other woman is just a person.
And down the raod she'll probably suffer as much as you have.
So don't waste time hating her.
The best thing is to move on and make new friends. Do something for yourself.

The fact that your ex strayed doesn'tmean there is something wrong with you. Not a thing.
And that other worman didn't have anything spectial.
It just means that your ex wasn't loyal and that is what happened. It is what is.
It is hard.
But you can do this.
You are okay.
Don't waste time over it anymore than you can help.
So many people have gone thru' this.
Briarpatch.

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri Feb 05, 2010 1:16 pm

Briarpatch, you have really great advice!

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