relationships
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bubblybrunette
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:28 pm
ok guys i really dont know what do do. I like this guy and i know he likes me too, and i want to be with him. I really want to have a boyfriend, but everytime i get close my anxiety gets in the way and its always hard to trust people. Its really hard. So if anyone has had this problem before, help me out please?
"Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life."
~Tuck Everlasting~
~Tuck Everlasting~
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Guest
Hey Bubbly...
This situation is a tough one - and ironically..im in the same boat as you are. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and severe anxiety in October after suffering numerous panic attacks a day, not eating, sleeping, or able to function since late August. Unfortunately, my condition got so bad that my mother pulled me out of college - my senior year. I have been home since October.
The point of me telling you all of this is because ever since getting out of a 3 year, very disfunctional, demanding and controlled relationship - I have been very frightened to move forward. I, too, have a great guy who has gone above and beyond to be there for me, support me, etc. but I am petrified to jump into a relationship. Granted I have known this guy for almost 4 years- I am afraid I'm not ready yet. But this feeling makes me wonder - if i keep waiting to feel ready - i may never feel it. There comes a point where you need to take a plunge at things, despite some fears, because life is too short and we should not let what could be amazing opportunities pass us by.
What this guy and I decided to do was take one day at a time. He knows of my situation, he knows how hard I am working with this program, in yoga, at the gym and in therapy - being able to express all of these things to him helped him to feel included, not make assumptions, or "push" me into something I may not feel comfortable with right now. By the by, I suggested that we just date. No boyfriend-girlfriend title or commitment, but just go out 2 or 3 times a month together for dinner, walks, a movie - whatever it is that we both enjoy. It will help you to learn more about the person and help you to see if you think he is someone you want to commit to.
Don't allow your anxiety to get in the way or make YOUR decisions for you.
Think of anxiety like this:
Your body is your home. Your sacred place. The anxiety is trying to break into your home and the last thing anyone wants is to be robbed. Thinking of it in that sense helps me to get pissed off at my anxiety and force it to go away. Once I battle it - I seek avengence by doing what it doesn't want me to do.
I hope things work out for you and this guy.
I would really like to know if my input helped you at all and if u have anything else you want to ask/talk about - im right here.
This situation is a tough one - and ironically..im in the same boat as you are. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and severe anxiety in October after suffering numerous panic attacks a day, not eating, sleeping, or able to function since late August. Unfortunately, my condition got so bad that my mother pulled me out of college - my senior year. I have been home since October.
The point of me telling you all of this is because ever since getting out of a 3 year, very disfunctional, demanding and controlled relationship - I have been very frightened to move forward. I, too, have a great guy who has gone above and beyond to be there for me, support me, etc. but I am petrified to jump into a relationship. Granted I have known this guy for almost 4 years- I am afraid I'm not ready yet. But this feeling makes me wonder - if i keep waiting to feel ready - i may never feel it. There comes a point where you need to take a plunge at things, despite some fears, because life is too short and we should not let what could be amazing opportunities pass us by.
What this guy and I decided to do was take one day at a time. He knows of my situation, he knows how hard I am working with this program, in yoga, at the gym and in therapy - being able to express all of these things to him helped him to feel included, not make assumptions, or "push" me into something I may not feel comfortable with right now. By the by, I suggested that we just date. No boyfriend-girlfriend title or commitment, but just go out 2 or 3 times a month together for dinner, walks, a movie - whatever it is that we both enjoy. It will help you to learn more about the person and help you to see if you think he is someone you want to commit to.
Don't allow your anxiety to get in the way or make YOUR decisions for you.
Think of anxiety like this:
Your body is your home. Your sacred place. The anxiety is trying to break into your home and the last thing anyone wants is to be robbed. Thinking of it in that sense helps me to get pissed off at my anxiety and force it to go away. Once I battle it - I seek avengence by doing what it doesn't want me to do.
I hope things work out for you and this guy.
I would really like to know if my input helped you at all and if u have anything else you want to ask/talk about - im right here.
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Guest
Hi Bubbly and Goober,
It is not wise to remain a prisoner of the past!!! You need to allow those barriers to fall, and take a chance!!!
What is the worst thing that could happen?
What if the worst does NOT happen, just think of what you are missing!!!!
I say take a leap of faith...Test the waters, and do NOT allow fear to live your life for you!!!!
Christopher Columbus took a chance when he discovered America
Live your lives to the fullest...God Bless!!!
It is not wise to remain a prisoner of the past!!! You need to allow those barriers to fall, and take a chance!!!
What is the worst thing that could happen?
What if the worst does NOT happen, just think of what you are missing!!!!
I say take a leap of faith...Test the waters, and do NOT allow fear to live your life for you!!!!
Christopher Columbus took a chance when he discovered America
Live your lives to the fullest...God Bless!!!
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Guest
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Guest
thanks a lot guys!!! you're really helpful and its just really good to know that im not the only one with these issues. it really bugs me because in the future, i want to get married and have kids. im just so afraid that might not happen if i keep letting thesee feelings get in the way. even if it doesnt work out with this guy, it just has to work out with someone you know?