Loosing a companion over my behavior

Seeking Help Jen · Post by **Seeking Help Jen** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:46 am

My behavior's realated to anxiety and depression have caused my boyfriend of 3 years to leave. I've been trying to explain my issues with him for a long time and he still doesn't get it. He feels as thought he's paying for what my ex has done to me and in some ways he may be. I have two thoughts that run through my mind - one, if he truly cared about me he would deal with it. I'm really not that bad of a person; two, it's not fair for me to expect anyone to put up with my mood swings. Any suggestions or advice?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 8:17 am

Well, I think we are in this battle alone. Each and every one of us. No matter what support loved ones can be, ultimately it is us who have to heal, and do the work to heal. I would rather be alone to do work on myself than be with someone who does not give a hoot, and some people just do not GET IT! I've been through that and now expect nothing and the good thing is I GET WHAT I EXPECT. So no feelings of anger etc towards anyone. Understanding these types of disorders is beyond the realm of some people and maybe this has happened for a reason. Maybe you will be stronger now that you have to get better just for yourself. What do you think??

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 8:56 am

You're right - - ultimatley we do have to deal with it on our own. We can't expect anyone to GET IT or deal with it. I don't feel anger towards him (at the moment.) I'm just feeling down. Of course my mind is racing with all the bad thoughts - - I've just lost a good guy, I'm not going to find anyone else, my kids are going to be hurt, I cant stand to see him with someone else, etc. I think it bothers me the most that he can just walk away so easily and not feel what I'm feeling. It's like no big deal to him. He has the "It is what it is" attitude.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 12:26 pm

I know and understand. Life throws us curve balls forsure and for us who are supersensitive we cannot imagine leaving someone in the vacumn we feel we are in at times. But, think of it this way, if he left, and he did, left you when you were feeling poorly and was desperately trying to explain to him what your feelings were--then let him go. It is difficult now but I do believe we become strong and more self-reliant when something like this loss happens. Women need to stand tall, strong, and state their presence, come what may. They also have to work at things ten times harder to be as tough as a man, but (smile) luckily we can do that quite well and easily.
Len him go, you will be fine. Grieve if you must for say, 10 hours or so, then shake loose and really LET HIM GO!!
It will work out, you'll see!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 9:14 am

Hi Jen, I agree with cntbeme to LET HIM GO. I just started this program last week and I want to share my story with you. Over a year and a half ago I told my husband of 16 years that I thought I wanted a divorce but was confused and could we get couseling. All he heard was I wanted a divorce. He said he new I was depressed and unhappy in the marriage. His therapist told him it would take years for me to get better. He gave me a month to move out of our home. He has been battling cancer for the last nine years and has had all kinds of support from medical to psycological including my emotional support. And when I needed support he asked me to leave. In retrospect, my initial gut reaction to ask for a divorce was correct. He has shown his true self and he is just as anxious and depressed if not more so than I and I see that he was that way even before he was diagnosed with cancer. It was a relationship I had stayed in way toooo long. Although I am struggling now, I know this will pass and I know that waking up from depression can be scary but I believe ultimately it is a journey into happiness and having people to take the journey with you and support you will make all the difference. You are on the right path. I am sending you some star shine to light your way.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 9:31 am

Hi there! I am wondering, as I have tried several medications for my unexplainable anxiety (Lexapro and Zoloft) and while they worked wonders on my anxiety, the sexual side effects were awful. I am wondering if anyone taking the "Positive mood" supplements have any trouble in the bedroom? Does it effect sex life? Can I still orgasm? I just bought the pills and am skeptical. Can I have my cake and eat it too? lol. Thanks!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Nov 25, 2009 3:28 am

Starchild,

Thanks so much for your encouragement. I am doing MUCH better since my original post. I was going through shock and disappointment at that time. I've turned everything over to God! Every day I wake up and ask for strenghth and for my heart and ears to open a little more to receive God's will. Things will get better for you as well. I appreciate your reply.